HOME AND FAMILY : LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

How To Fix A Troubled Marriage!

2009-03-03T10:12:00.000-08:00

How To Fix A Troubled Marriage! By Cucan Pemo
Sometimes you can fix a troubled marriage and sometimes you are past no return. Before you allow your marriage to get past the point of new return, you need to reevaluate your marriage as well as your feelings. How troubled is your marriage? Do you feel like your marriage is just rocky or is it falling into the gutter? Even if your marriage is still just rocky, you need to take the time to help your troubled marriage. Those who are in a rocky marriage you will want to put a just a little bit more into the marriage.
First, you need to do things around the house that you would normally need to be asked to do. Make the bed, do the laundry, help out a little bit. In a rocky marriage, only stress is your issue. You need to make sure that you help your mate during the rough times and be more emotionally and physically supportive. You need to make her feel like she is needed, but not a slave. You also need to do things that make her feel attractive as well. You need to put forth some effort to make her feel wanted and beautiful. If you put more energy into your marriage, it won’t be rocky for long. If you fear that you have put off the marriage for awhile then you are probably in a failing marriage.
The reason why you are in a failing marriage is when things got rough you ignored the signs. You can’t ignore the signs of trouble in a marriage or you could end up in a very troubled spot. It can be difficult to fix a failing marriage. There will be resistance. You not only need to put more energy forth into the marriage, but you may need to take a step back from the relationship for you both to breath. When it comes to saving a marriage, you need to put some space between the two partners.
This doesn’t mean you have to move out, however, you need to back off with the romance and try to open up with each other. Talking can help resolve a lot of issues in a marriage; however, you have to talk openly to them. You have to learn how to listen and to send positive and clear messages.
Even though it can be hard to back off with wanting to be intimate, you will find that it will pay off in the end. You will be able to get to the wild bedroom behavior once you have been able to reconnect to your wife. Once you have reconnected to her, she’ll be more likely to want to be with you and more open to your intimate ideas and feelings. When you have a basis of trust and deep admiration you will find that the intimacy will be better than ever.
The key to saving a marriage is to get to the point where you both were happy. You need to make sure that you talk about the things that you are concerned with and the things that they are concerned with. You will want to make sure that you are open to your partner so that you can get to the core of your troubles. Once you have opened up to the communication channels, you can then open up about things like your sex. It’s all one-step at a time. Once you have a basis of understanding then you are able to build on that.
Once you have talked things through and have allowed a basis for a marriage, you can then start adding of your other concerns. Things like talking to your partner about the lack of excitement, the lack of pleasure, or even the lack of feeling wanted yourself. There are many men who think that their mate does not feel attracted to them, but there are a lot of women with the same insecurities.
As you grow and further your commitment to each other, you also need to keep the communication open so that you two can grow together. Once you have fixed your marriage, you constantly have to keep up with the marriage. You need to always be putting in effort to the relationship. You need to always be trying to keep interest in each other and keep the excitement in the relationship. When serious problems arise, you have to think about all the things that your mate must be feeling and allow her to have her feelings, but take a genuine step towards making that concern
strength to your marriage. Remember, men and women see and think in a different light and if you are able to see the problem in both of our eyes, then your marriage will be saved.
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7 Ways to Stop Your Marriage Breakups

2009-03-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

7 Ways to Stop Your Marriage Breakups By Cucan Pemo
It’s hard for newly weds or even those who have been married for a long time to recover from a serious mishap. There are sometimes when people will fault and then there are times when people split up because of no faults of their own. In cases where there is someone to blame, the relationship has a better chance of recovering. However, if you know how to stop your marriage from breaking up, then you will be able to recover from anything.
The first thing that you have to do to stop your marriage from breaking up is by saying I’m sorry. There are a lot of relationships that end because neither one could say I’m sorry. If you learn to accept responsibility for the things that you do and show your mate that you are serious about the relationship then you will be able to save your marriage. Those two words can meet a lot when it comes to the end of your relationship. Also, you need to know how to change your actions. When you apologize for something that you have done wrong, you have to change your actions. You can’t say that you are sorry and then do something again. By apologizing, you are able to right a wrong, however, your words will mean nothing if you don’t show the person some action.
Then you may also need to take some time away from each other. Every relationship needs to have a grace period. This is when you need to pull away from each other and then try to patch up the holes in the relationship. The way that you can do that is by moving apart a step or two and then going back to when you were wooing her. Take her back to where you meet or where you had your first date. Spend some time focusing on the relationship. Bring back what was lost. When you step back from the situation you are able to see where the relationship fell apart and why. Then you should be able to right some of the wrongs. When she brings up seeing a professional, you should always do it with an open mind. When you stay open to new suggestions you will be more honest with yourself and about the relationship. Professionals are not always a bad thing for your marriage, but they can help both of you focus on where the marriage fell apart and then fix everything. Sometimes it can also make you realize things about yourself that you never even thought about.
You will also want to stop doing things on purpose to start a fight or provoke her. You don’t want to chew on your nails cause it bothers her. You don’t want to leave the seat up just to see what she’ll say. It’s time that you start acting your age and by doing things to deliberate separate your wife from you won’t save your marriage, but condemn it even more.
You will also want to take her in mind more than yourself. When it comes to fixing a marriage, you have to do things just because. You have to buy her flowers because you wanted to. You have to fix things around the house just to make her happy. You have to think about all those thoughtful things that you use to do to make her fall in love with you. When you can begin to think like the person that you once where you will be able to find the love again.
Another thing is that when you are in a long relationship you take a lot of things for granted. You need to give more compliments. You need to be more sensitive to their needs as well as your own. You need to have a solid communication line so that you two can talk all your issues out like adults. Talking will make you both feel better and allow those little things to not grow into something big. You can contain the problem before it gives any bigger. Also, it is normal for a person to change, however, if you keep showing the love for someone, you can grow together.
The final tip that you will want to try is to recover the romance. You need to do things for her that she’d never expect. You have to show how much you love her by doing things that she’s always wanted you to do, but you were never quite open to it. You need to be open to the new and exciting things that she wants to incorporate
in the relationship. You never know, you may find some new interests, as well as, save your marriage.
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What To Do With A Sexless Marriage

2009-03-03T10:05:00.000-08:00

What To Do With A Sexless Marriage By Cucan Pemo
What can you do to deal with a sexless marriage? First, is your marriage sexless because of the lack of passion or because of a terrible condition; either way you can still salvage your marriage and still happy. First of all, sex is not everything in a marriage. In fact, most religions believe that you should only engage in sex to conceive. Any other time, it’s considered a sin. Now today, we have wrapped sex with a string of love. Many people think that if you don’t have sex then there is no love. However, sex has nothing to do with love, passion, but not love. Sex is something that we engage in when we find ourselves attracted to another.
Remember how it felt when you were first married? You had such an explosion of passion that you just couldn’t help it, but want your mate. However, people change, things change, and so does a marriage. Just because you are in a slum, doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. Right now, she may feel overwhelmed with the kids, work, and so on. It may have something to do with you too.
When it comes to you as the reason for the sexless marriage it might just be because you have not given her a reason to feel passion for you. You might not look at her like you use to. When it comes woman feeling attractive it’s all about how you make them feel. You need to look at her every now and then and actually see her. Surely it might just be your own depression or career that has blocked you have paying such attention.
However, if you bring home flowers or dinner and give her a hug and a kiss, you may just startle the passion that she has for you. She’ll feel appreciated and loved. Love is another thing. Do you talk to your wife about love? Do you tell her that you still love her? Be romantic! Tell her that you love her, let her know that you still feel the same. Go out of your way for her and she’ll go out of her way for you. Soon you’ll notice that the sex is back and you’ll both feel better about the marriage and the future of the relationship.
Then again, have you lost your passion for her? It’s hard to hold passion for someone over years of time. If you are just not attracted to her, you at least have to try to deal with the problem. Try the romance and ask her about how she feels. Ask her to do some of the things that you need her to do to make you feel the passion again. If you begin to see a third party about your marriage then you will be able to get to the deep feelings that you both hide.
You will be able to overcome both of your insecurities and build a stronger marriage. Just because you have a lack of sex or a dry spell doesn’t mean that you should give up on your marriage. If you can talk to your wife about these things and about your intimate relationship, then you should be able to over come the spell, however, sometimes it is not a choice that the couple makes, but the doctor.
There are a lot of couples who cannot have sex because it is too painful or it is a medical condition like cancer. Your wife won’t feel beautiful when she’s sick and sometimes they can’t bare the thought. When it comes to dealing with a marriage that is sexless by choice, you should try to think about why you married your wife. You didn’t marry her because of the sex; you most likely, married her because you had such a connection. You felt like you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this woman. Now that she’s sick, you have to be there by her side through it.
Sex should be the last thing on your mind and if you truly love her then it really won’t matter. In fact, even if you aren’t in this type of situation, you should not care about the sex. All that you can do is go to your wife and talk to her and tell her you love her more than ever. You may not be able to add sex to your marriage, but you will feel so better.
Some couples have a choice between having sex and not having sex, and then some couples don’t. Regardless, you need to show your support to your wife and talk about your feelings about the sexless marriage and about your marriage in general. Open up and you will end up finding that you will feel better about your marriage and yourself. Discover how you can easily bring back the Love of Your Life!- A Potent 4-
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Marriage Advice: How To Love Your Wife Unconditionally

2009-03-03T10:01:00.000-08:00

Marriage Advice: How To Love Your Wife Unconditionally By Cucan Pemo
It is hard to find love and unconditional love at that. It can sometimes be hard to find someone who you can love unconditional. When you love unconditionally, you love the person no matter what. The first step to being in a healthy marriage is being in a love filled married. For you to love your wife unconditionally you first have to like who you are. For you to give love, you have to be satisfied with yourself. If you are not satisfied with who you are, then you will have insecure that get in the way of your marriage and relationship. Loving unconditionally may be every hard for some because they cannot love themselves. Insecurities can put a lot of wear and tear into the relationship.
The next step to loving unconditionally is finding your beliefs. You have to have a spiritual feelings towards something. Regardless of what religion that you pursue, you should be able to find strength, support, and a higher feeling when you believe in something. When you believe in something bigger than yourself you are able to see all the things that are right in front of you. You will be able to see all of those who care and love you. You will also be able to recognize that love and give it back. You will be able to feel love and to send others love.
For you to be in a relationship that is unconditionally filled with love you have to find someone who you think you could love for the rest of your life. You need to find someone who you have a true connection to. However, loving unconditionally does not mean that you give into everything. Some things that your mate will do will be devastating to your marriage. Rather it be stealing money from you, having an affair, or just doing things that aren’t appropriate for married couples, you may find that you love has it’s limits. When it comes to betrayal or deceit, they are two exceptions. Loving unconditionally means that your wife can crash your pickup and you don’t get upset for the pickup sake. It’s about still caring for her when she burns dinner or gains five pounds, if you can love without concern to change then you can love unconditionally.
There are no steps to love. You can’t learn how to love unconditionally. You just love. A lot of people will step into a marriage blindly, but they were just in love. Sometimes it works out and some times it doesn’t. So how do you know the different between love and lust? Love and lust have a thin line dividing them. Love is when you’d do and say anything to have that person in your life. Lust is when you’d say or do anything to be “close” to them. When you have figured out that you are in love you have to ask yourself a question. Could you allow her to destroy your prized possessions and not think twice about them? Could you move across the country for them? Would you support their every move? If you can then you already love unconditionally.
To love unconditionally you have to be completely open and honest. You have to let the person see who you are and allow them to accept you. You have to be willing to express your ideas and your feelings to this person. You have to be free of all insecurities to be completely in love. To love unconditionally you have to be completely honest with your wife and with yourself. You cannot have any hidden agenda or motives. You need to be in the relationship because you need to be around the person, not because you think it might make you whole or that you might get ahead with your career. Love is not something you learn, it’s just something that you do.
It’s hard to love and trust someone, but without trust you’ll never be able to love. You need to take inconsideration of their thoughts, needs, and feelings so that you can be the ultimate support system (even if you are against the idea). In addition, you need to learn how to love yourself. You will never learn how to love if you can’t look in a mirror in accept yourself. How can your wife accept you, if you cannot? You have to get the thought of making yourself love unconditionally. You either do or do not. To find out if you truly love them unconditionally, you have to think of some of the most horrible situations and then ask yourself would you care about the situation or her.
It means to be fully present, in every single moment. To be fully aware. To be fully open, honest, transparent. It means to be fully willing, to express the love that is in your heart full out. To be fully loving means to be fully naked, without hidden agenda or hidden motive, without hidden anything.
And you say that it is possible for human beings, for regular people like me, to achieve such love? This is something of which we are all capable?
It is more than that of which you are capable. It is that which you are. This is the nature of Who You Are. The most difficult thing that you do is to deny that. And you are doing this difficult thing every day. It is why your life feels so difficult. Yet when you do the easy thing, when you decide to come from, to be, Who You Really Are - which is pure love, unlimited and unconditioned-then your life becomes easy again. All the turmoil disappears, all the struggle goes away.
This peace may be achieved in any given moment. The way to it may be found by asking a simple question:
What would love do now?
This is a marvelous question, because you will always know the answer. It is like magic. It is cleansing, like a soap. It takes the worry out of being close. It washes away all doubt, all fear. It bathes the mind with the wisdom of the soul.
What a good way of putting that.
It is true. When you ask this question, you will know instantly what to do. In any circumstance, under any condition, you will know. You will be given the answer. You are the answer, and asking the question brings forth that part of you.

Do not second-guess this answer when it instantly comes to you. When you second-guess is when you fool yourself - and can make a fool of yourself. Go into the heart of love, and come from that place in all your choices and decisions, and you will find peace.
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7 Incredible Ways To Reconnect With Your Husband/Boyfriend

2009-03-03T09:52:00.000-08:00

7 Incredible Ways To Reconnect With Your Husband/Boyfriend By Cucan Pemo
There are times in every relationship when other commitments take priority over your husband or your boyfriend, but these times can hurt a relationship. When you start to notice that you haven’t been as close as you once were, you will want to start taking steps that will reconnect you with your partner and re-establish the strong relationship that you once had.
Realize that the mess can wait
Some women believe that they are being constantly judged by how their house or their living space looks. However, this is far from the case. Instead of making cleaning the majority of your free time, why not allow yourself to let more things go at the end of the day to make room for your relationship? Instead of having the laundry always done and the kitchen always shining, isn’t your relationship worth the time?
Take time for yourself
Many women will feel more connected in their relationships if they take the time to make themselves look good. Something as simple as getting out of sweatpants and tee shirts at the end of the day and into nice jeans and a well-fitting top can help you feel more confident and thus, more attractive to your partner. You don’t have to look like a model, but taking care of your appearance can help you feel like one.
Create a date
At least once a week, you and your partner need to get out of the house and on a date. Too often, long relationships think that they are ‘past’ that, so they settle into a dull life of staying at home. When you were first dating, you went to the movies and out to eat – why not try to do that more now? Sure, you won’t be able to do it every week, but if you try, you will both have something to look forward to.
Stop your thinking
Many times, a woman can become frustrated by everything that she is handling, especially when she’s a mom as well as a career woman. When this happens, you might feel as though you could scream at your partner for not being helpful enough, romantic enough, etc. But is this really going to reconnect your relationship? It can help to stop your thinking for a few seconds before you share these kinds of feelings. You might find that you’re actually feeling something else that’s not directed at him.
Put the spotlight on him
When you take the time to do something special for someone else, you will reap the benefits of feeling closer to them as well. Something as simple as packing a lunch or writing a love note in their wallet can be a great way to help your partner know that you care. Everyone likes to feel special.
When you can’t get away
It’s time to be creative if you’re unable to get away from the house. Maybe you can create date night at home, or work together on some goals that you’ve wanted to accomplish. Play board games – do whatever you both like to do together. If you have a home remodeling project, don’t leave it just for him, do it together to get more couple time.
Getting out of town
One of the best ways to reconnect as a couple is to head out of the house for a few days. There are numerous bed and breakfasts that you can visit for only a small expense. You don’t even have to leave the room if you don’t want to, but the time away from your normal distractions can help you get back in tune with what your relationship needs.
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7 Innovative Ways to Save Your Marriage

2009-03-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

7 Innovative Ways to Save Your Marriage by Cucan Pemo
Are you in a tough spot in your marriage right now? Every relationship has its problems and its rough patches, but that doesn’t mean that you need to give up when the going gets tough. For many couples, they can actually work through their problems to create a stronger relationship. Sometimes the hard times are actually learning lessons in disguise. Here are just a few tips for getting started on the right foot.
Listen
There’s nothing more damaging to a relationship than a partner that doesn’t take the time to listen. In fact, that fact alone might be the thing that has led to the feelings of dissatisfaction with a marriage. In order to be a good partner (on either end), you need to be able to remain quiet and talk through problems until both partners are satisfied. Be quiet when they are speaking and try to really listen to what they are saying.
Understand
But listening only goes so far when you’re trying to work out problems in you relationship. If you do not really understand where they are coming from, you might be creating more problems. When they are expressing themselves, you want to ask questions when appropriate in order to clarify what they are saying to you. Even if it seems uncomfortable at first, it’s important that you make sure that you understand where they are at and how you might be able to help.
A positive attitude
Why start off a rough patch by thinking that it will never get any better no matter what you do? When you’re trying to work through problems and issues, you will want to make sure that you’re going into it with a positive attitude. You don’t need to be sugary sweet, but you should start to look at your troubles as learning lessons rather than the doom of the relationship. Try to think about happier times when you start to become negative in order to turn your thinking around.
Be present
When a partner isn’t fully in the moment of trying to fix a relationship, the work becomes a one-sided affair. You need to be able to fully be there for your partner when you need to work through tough times. This might mean that you need to take a few days off work or devote certain times to discussing ways to fix your relationship. These times should be uninterrupted by work obligations or time commitments so that neither person feels rushed or distracted.
Stay calm
While you might be upset about the way that things have turned out, you need to remember that being calm is the best way to see things more clearly. Try lowering your voice when you talk – it automatically lowers your blood pressure and your anger. Try to take a few deep breaths before you say anything – this will help you to be clear and calm as you speak. Many people perceive becoming flustered or upset as being angry, and that can lead to a poor environment for working through issues.
Make plans
One of the best ways to help save your marriage is to start creating long term plans with your partner. While this might not seem like the best idea at the time, it will create the idea that you are both going to make it through the rough patch that you have stumbled upon – somehow. Try to make plans for vacations or other far in the future appointments. This will create a little less pressure because the future isn’t so vague and unable to be seen in the dark that you are experiencing at the time.
Take time away
While you don’t have to become legally separated to do this, taking time away from each other is one of the best ways to stop a marriage from becoming a divorced marriage. When you take time away from each other, you allow yourself to have a new perspective on the events that are happening. And this can allow you to see new solutions as well as new ideas for how to handle the problems that you may be having. Even if it’s just a night or a few hours, taking time to step back from an issue can help it become easier to resolve.
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How To Fix Your Marriage Without Professional Help

2009-03-03T09:40:00.001-08:00

How To Fix Your Marriage Without Professional HelpBy Cucan Pemo
Marriages can have troubled times. Maybe it’s because of infidelity or the quiet drifting apart of a long term marriage – in any case, when your marriage is having tough times, you need help to make things right again. However, not everyone has the resources or the time to seek professional help. The good news is that you can fix your relationship without a therapist, though you might need a therapist in the future.
For now, you have each other
When you’re hitting a rough spot in your marriage, it’s time to talk about why you want to save the marriage first. Sit down with your partner and start to discuss things that are keeping your together and memories that remind you of better times. You might want to sit down with photo albums and journals to talk about the times when you used to laugh, when you used to be happy. Many times, this simple exercise can help to put your current problems into perspective and help to put you on a positive path to a healthy relationship.
Make a promise
Too many times, we are afraid to make promises to our partner because we’re afraid that we won’t be able to follow through, that we won’t be able to be perfect in everything we do. However, the truth is that no one is perfect – we can only try our best. If you’re in a hard spot with your marriage, you will want to make a promise to each other that you will do the best that you can to make things better between the both of you. Promise to do whatever it takes and that you will give all of your free time and attention to fixing whatever has been broken. And then stick to that promise.
Realize that you’re not going to be perfect
Even in therapy, couples aren’t perfect with rebuilding their relationship. Things go wrong, life can throw curve balls, and people can make mistakes – you will not always do everything right. But what matters is that you try to move toward doing what’s best for your relationship. To go into fixing your marriage, thinking that everything is going to be easy and without flaws is just not realistic. Try to do the best that you can, but forgive yourself and forgive your spouse when you’re not able to choose the right thing. It’s how you recover and learn from these mistakes that will make your marriage stronger in the end.
Set aside some time to work on your relationship
You will need to set up some time in which you can work through your problems and your issues. Much like traditional therapy, you might want to schedule in appointments with each other in order to have time to talk. Try to make this time as uninterruptible as possible so that you’re not distracted by anything else – so that you can focus on your marriage. You might want to set up time away from your living space in order to bring a new perspective to your discussions. Maybe heading out for a hike or to a spa for a day will help you both change your feelings about whatever you are talking about – and help you resolve it.
You don’t have to do what everyone else has done
Your relationship needs specific tools to be fixed, but the way that works for you might not be the way that works for everyone else. This is why communicating with each other is so important. When you’re able to talk honestly about your feelings and about your needs, you will be able to create plans that make sense for the way that you want things to work out. Your methods might not be ‘normal,’ but if they’re making your relationship happier and healthier, it only matters what works.
Get the tools
But there’s nothing stopping you from looking at the writings of therapists and other experienced authors. Bookstores have sections devoted to healing marriages and getting past any number of relationship battles. In a pinch, you can also head to the library for a free assortment of self help tools. The point is that you find something that works for you and your relationship, so it might take time to find the right book.
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What to Do with a Man who Has Commitment Phobia and How You Can Spot One!

2009-03-03T09:38:00.000-08:00

What to Do with a Man who Has Commitment Phobia and How You Can Spot One!~ Cucan Pemo

There are some men who make women feel very lovable and desirable. They lavish love and gifts on them, and make them feel very special. But when it comes to marriage, they back out. They have a great fear of getting tied to a single woman for life. They run away from the very idea of marriage. Their relationships never have fairytale endings; instead they are littered with heartbreaks.

These men suffer from commitment phobia, a fear of committing themselves to one single woman. However, they don’t hesitate to play the loving game. They go out of their way to make their women feel special. They woo them with all the passion that they can command. But they cool off once the woman talks of marriage.

How to spot a commitment phobe

For any woman it is important to spot commitment phobes – that is men who suffer from commitment phobia -- early in the relationship. This is the only way they can keep their feet firmly on the ground, and not get swept away by the charm offensive launched by such men.

Fortunately, the commitment phobes are very predictable and display several common traits. These are: 1. They have been involved in several relationships in the past, but all of them have been brief. The reason, they will charmingly tell you, is that they are yet to come across a woman of their dreams, someone with whom they can have a lifelong relationship. You are that woman, they will tell you. It is for you to spot the lie or swallow it hook, line and sinker.

2. They would show much more interest in you that you do in them They will follow you, beseech you, please you, woo you – try every trick in the trade to win you over.
They will even drop hints of long and stable relationships; they will talk of “we” and “us” not “I” and “me”.

3. They will make you feel very special. They will shower you with love and affection. They will make you feel their world will come to an end if you spurn them or misunderstand them. You will find it impossible to resist them, unless you realize what is happening.

However, this ardent wooing will be limited to the first phase of the relationship. The relationship will take a different turn the moment you surrender It is not that such men treat women as trophies to be won, and then displayed in their personal museums; but they are driven by contradictory feelings. They neither want to give up a woman nor want to commit themselves to her. It is a psychological disorder. But it can have serious effects both on the relationship, and on you.

You will not realize what has happened to your relationship. The same man, who could not live without you for a moment, will start looking for excuses to stay away from you. You will no longer be the shining light of their lives. The talk of matrimony will freeze them. Your tears may make them unhappy but it will not move them. It wouldn’t be long before you are left only with memories and tears; the commitment phobe would have moved forward to another woman.

Why do they behave like this

You need not search for reasons for the souring of the relationship. You should also not blame yourself for what has happened. You must realize that commitment phobia is an emotional disorder, and you have become a victim of a person suffering from such a disorder.

According to psychologists, the commitment phobes behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships. This may happen because:

As a sensitive child, a commitment phobe’s world was torn by a bitter divorce between his parents. He grew up with a feeling that there can be no permanent relationship between a man and a woman. Such a relationship can only bring pain in the long run.
Some commitment phobes cannot reconcile to the death of their father or mother or forget the sadness and grief that overcame their parents when one of them died. They therefore grow up with the feeling of not to enter into permanent relationships – relationships that can bring pain on account of the death of a loved one.
Some commitment phobes may have been betrayed by those whom they loved. This would have created a mindset of never to give in to a woman again.
How to deal with a commitment phobe

You must realize that you have very few chances of winning a commitment phobe. You must therefore play hard to get. You must refuse to get into bed with him for very often this signals the end of a relationship. Let him feel desperate; let him step up his wooing. But don’t give in.

It is important that you continue to live your own life. You should not allow a commitment phobe to set the pace of your life. You should continue dating other men and act as an independent woman who can live her life on her own. Never make the mistake of playing second fiddle to such men or switching to what-a-wife-would-do mode.

You should not drum excuses for his behavior, or try to convince yourself that he is right and you are wrong. In your mind, you should not become his advocate. You must look at his actions, not his words. Words are easy; they can be lavished with freedom. But it is hard to match them with action.

If possible, you should convince him to see a psychologist. There is always a chance that a psychologist may be able to remove the fears that a commitment phobe has about marital relationships. But this cannot happen in an instant. You have to be patient, aand you have to see how the commitment phobe takes your suggestion or the counseling.

Finally, don’t grieve if your relationship breaks down. Take it in your stride. Treat it as a fun fling that was bound to end this way. In this way, you are always in control of yourself and your life; and you learn the importance of "responsibility" towards all decisions you are going to make in life and relationships!

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10 Reasons Why You Should Stay Married!

2009-03-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

10 Reasons Why You Should Stay Married! by Cucan Pemo
While no one wants their marriage to fail, did you know that there are actually quantifiable reasons for staying with your spouse? In case you need help deciding whether to stay married or not, here are the facts:
#1 Married people are happier
In recent studies, scientists founds that married couples suffer from less depression than their unmarried counterparts. And this even takes into consideration those couples that are living together and not married. Being in a committed relationship with each other is not enough, but showing that commitment to friends, family, and the wedding DJ seems to make the bond all the more important.
#2 Married couples are more productive
While the case could be made that two people can always get more done than one, married couples seem to enjoy exploring their interests more than singles and unmarried couples. Maybe it’s because you’ve set up long term goals and thinking that guides you through the day to day, or maybe it could be because you’re both challenging each other to be better – in either case, married couples just seem to get more done.
#3 Married couples learn better
Studies have shown that married couples tend to retain new knowledge longer than single or married couples. It would seem that the calmer state of the brain is more conducive to learning. And since you have someone to remind you of what you’ve forgotten, it’s a lot easier to keep those important facts in your head.
#4 Married couples are less stressed
When you have someone that is constantly supporting you and cares about how you’re doing, this support system helps to buoy you in times of stress. Being able to laugh with each other and help each other helps the stressful times seem all the less, well, stressful.
#5 Married couples are healthier overall
Because of the reduced stress and increased support system, married couples tend to have fewer health problems than their married counterparts. They have fewer colds and other minor illnesses. Without the constant strain of a commitment that’s sort of hazy, married couples can fight off germs and bacteria.
#6 Married couples live longer
With the increased health and ability to ward off stress, married couples tend to live longer than their unmarried counterparts. Married couples are more long term thinking and this allows them to have a more positive outlook on life and whatever is thrown at them. Even couples with long term illnesses or other stressors seem to be able to live longer than is normal.
#7 Married couples are richer
Of course, having two people in any relationship will make a couple richer, but married couples are more diligent about planning for long term goals which can lead to more stable financial results. They invest together, plan together, work together to create a retirement that will allow them to enjoy each other’s company long into the twilight of their lives.
#8 Married couples fight smarter
No couple is without fights or disagreements, but married couples have a more relaxed approach about getting past arguments and getting over them. The long term commitment allows them to realize that not everything is as important ‘right now’ as it seems, and that most problems can blow over without too much incident.
#9 Married couples have better sex
While stereotypes might have you believe otherwise, married couples truly do have a more varied an enjoyable sex life. They tend to experiment to keep things exciting and they are focused more on the pleasure of their partner than of themselves.
#10 Married couples are more fit
Married couples have a built in workout partner and someone who will help them watch what they eat. This support system leads to an overall better outlook on fitness and health, which leads to a fitter lifestyle. Though slips in eating and exercise can affect both partners, it’s much more likely that married couples will get back up from their discretions and find the support to regain control of their health.
Being married isn’t just the dream of the white wedding; it’s what happens after the guests leave and the wrapping paper has been thrown away.
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What Does Your Woman REALLY Want:Let's Demystify Women Today!

2009-03-03T09:34:00.001-08:00

What Does Your Woman REALLY Want:Let's Demystify Women Today!By Cucan Pemo

The behavior of women is as much of a mystery to men as that of men is to women. However, one thing is certain. The women love to be wooed. They want to be pursued. They want to be courted. They want men to try and win their affection. It’s a great psychological game that both men and women play. The winners enjoy it; the losers end up wondering what went wrong.

To end up as winner men need to understand what women want. Here is a list of seven qualities that every woman expects to see in their men:

1. Well groomed
Do women pay attention to the way a man is dressed?
Do women want men to open doors for them?

Just as men like their women to be pretty, women like their men to be well groomed. They expect their men to be courteous, well behaved and well mannered. Among other things, they expect them to know the social graces. They also expect them to be well dressed, and in tune with the fashion of the day. Men who are loud or bawdy are unlikely to win the attention of sensitive women. The same applies to those men who don’t pay sufficient attention to the way they look.

2. Good listener
Should men do what women want?
Listen carefully to what a woman says

All women want their men to pay attention to what they are saying. Men may not agree with their thinking but they should not make the mistake of looking bored or causal. They must pay attention, even if they don’t intend to do what their women want. The very fact that their point of view was considered before a decision was taken is enough to make the women happy. It is the basis of a strong relationship.

3. Good in bed
What do women want in bed?
Do women like to be forced?
How can women be made happy?

Every woman wants her man to be good in bed. They want to be aroused, and to be sexually fulfilled. The relationship has to be equal in the bed. The man must make an honest effort to fulfill the sexual needs of his women He should, however, not take advantage of a relationship. But he should respect those days when the woman wants to stay off. Women don’t like to be pushed into sex unless they are in a mood to do so. They would much rather prefer being cajoled and cuddled instead of being rushed into sex.

4. Honest and sincere
Do women want to know everything about their men?
Should men tell everything to women?

Two qualities that women value in their men are honesty and sincerity. They don’t want their men to cheat on them or to hold back anything from them. They would like to be equal partners in both the joys and sorrows of their men. Very often men try to hold back their problems related to work or their finances. This is not a good policy. Women feel more wanted and involved when their men take them into confidence. Men should also not try to delude women into false notions. They must gently inform them of their problems without being blunt or cruel. No woman wants to be told that she is ugly, fat or dumb. But, at the same time, they would not like their men to lie to them about their looks.

5. Stable career
How important is financial stability?
Are women after successful men?

Women want stability in their lives. They don’t want to be in a situation where they are forced to scrounge for favors. They would like their men to take care of all basic necessities of life. They would therefore prefer men who are successful and well organized. However, this does not mean that they want to hook the rich and the well placed. This is a wrong notion. Money and success alone is not enough to satisfy a woman.

6. Love for surprises
Should men give lavish gifts to win the love of women?
Gifts that women cherish the most

No woman wants to be tied to home and children. She would like some excitement in her life. This is where men need to be imaginative and thoughtful. The surprises need not be big; they can be as simple as enjoying an evening at the theatre, followed by a dinner at her favorite restaurant or it can be driving down to a resort at the weekend. The joy is multiplied if these bonuses come unannounced.

7. Intelligent and witty
Are witty men more charming?
How does intelligence matter in a relationship?

Women like their men to charm them. They would like them to be intelligent and witty, who can liven up the evenings and make a room come alive. Men who are dull and boring or too obsessed with their own musings are unlikely to enchant women. Women like men who are willing to chat with them on their wavelength.

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What Does Your Man REALLY Want: Let's Demystify Men Today!

2009-03-03T09:29:00.001-08:00

What Does Your Man REALLY Want: Let's Demystify Men Today!
By Cucan Pemo

If there is one question for which every woman wants an answer is what men want. This question crops up in the mind of every woman be it be a teenager going on her first date; a newly wedded wife getting ready for her husband to return from work; a single woman waiting to find the right man; a divorcee trying to rebuild her life.

This question has been asked by women in the past, and will be asked by women in the future too. It is a question that has no easy answers; with each relationship being completely different from another. The best one can do is to explore seven subjects that form the cornerstone of any relationship between men and women. These subjects hold the key for any woman to understand what men want.

1. Sex
What do men want in sex?
How frequent should be lovemaking?
Should it be passionate?
Should women have sex before marriage?

There is little doubt that most men are obsessed with sex. It is a biological need, and men should not be blamed for wanting sex. However, sex alone cannot build a long lasting relationship. It can bring a couple together but it cannot hold them together beyond a certain point.

What a woman must understand is that a man finds happiness and fulfillment in sex. A woman who is willing to reach out and unite in the act of lovemaking is most likely to win a man than a woman who uses sex as a manipulative tool.

Also, men are not ogres. They don’t go to women looking for sex alone. Most of them don’t want their partners to degrade themselves when making love to them. They would rather like all acts of lovemaking to be complete and fulfilling to both.

Men, in fact, agonize more than women if they are unable to excite their partners. This is because men can be easily aroused whereas it takes longer, and more foreplay in the case of women to get aroused.

There is little doubt that a man would like to take a woman to bed as quickly as possible. But few men want to make love if they find their partners are unwilling. Most of them don’t want to hurt or injure the feelings of a woman with whom they have developed a bonding or are in the process of doing so. Also, no man would insist on sex as a prerequisite to marriage.

Yes, every man has his fantasies about sex, and would like frequent and passionate sex with the woman he loves. One-night stands, as the name suggests, are only flings, not relationships.

2. Companionship
What kind of a companion does a man want?
How should women meet those needs?

Men want women with whom they can share their likes and dislikes, their fears and triumphs, their weaknesses and strengths… They want women who can empathize with their failures and revel in their triumphs.

Women who constantly find faults with their men are unlikely to win their love and respect. Every woman must remember that men are vain by nature. They need pampering, and even mothering. At the same time they need emotional fulfillment.

This does not mean that women have to become sports enthusiasts or political analysts to please their men. They only need to provide space to their men to follow their passions.

3. Homemakers
Should women be great cooks to win acceptance?
Should women alone be expected to keep house?
Is it a woman’s job to rear kids?

Today’s men respect the ambitions of women. They don’t want to relegate their wives to the role of a domestic help. They would like their women to do well in life. However, they would not like this to happen at the cost of their own careers.

Most women must realize that every man wants to be the main breadwinner. His male ego gets hurt if he has to depend on his wife to run the home. He would certainly expect his wife to cook for him on at least three to four days a week. He would also expect women to keep the home clean and well kept. The best that a man is willing to do is to extend a helping hand. But the woman has to be the main homemaker.

4. Emotional support
Should women give advice?
Are men open to points of view given by women?

Once again the male ego is too vain. It is not willing to listen easily to the advice given by better halves. Almost every man goes on the defensive when the woman he loves wants to correct him. He may accept the same advice from another male; but would be very reluctant to do so from a woman.

Women should therefore be careful. They should make men feel they can climb Mount Everest, if need be. They must encourage them by constantly telling them how much confidence they have in them. This will bring the best out of every man.

5. Looks matter
Should women doll up for men?
Is a woman’s figure important?
How important is it to dress up especially for men?

Men love beautiful women. They don’t want their woman to look dowdy. This is not only true at the time of dating but even after marriage. Women who allow their figures to slip are likely to loose the interest of their men. This may sound sexist but this is how life is. An attractive woman, who knows how to carry herself, will always turn male heads.

6. Private space
Why do men need time for themselves?
Are they hiding something?
Shouldn’t they share all their thoughts with me?

The best relationships are those where women are willing to wait; where they give time to their men to unwind themselves. They should not rush into their arms the moment they come home, and expect them to unburden themselves. Instead, they should wait for the right time when the man is more ready to share his inner thoughts. Even here, it is important to be patient, and encouraging. Don’t find faults with your man’s thinking; the chances are that he may shut himself off. Each man needs space to sort his thoughts. A woman can help him by being encouraging and understanding.

7. Respect
Do men need more respect than women?
How should a woman behave?

Finally, both men and women need respect if the relationship is to survive. This can only happen if a woman is willing to listen to her man. Also, a woman should respect a man’s interests even though they may be widely different from her. She should allow him necessary space to follow his interests which may be sports, politics or cards.

Women should learn to read between the lines if they want to earn the respect of their men.

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How to draw genuine love to you using the Law of Attraction

2009-03-03T09:26:00.000-08:00

How to draw genuine love to you using the Law of Attraction
By Cucan Pemo

The Law of Attraction is one of the most powerful laws in the universe. According to it like attracts like. That is why creatures of the same kind attract each other. Wherever there is one ant, you will find many more; wherever there is one farmer you will find several farmers; wherever there is a lone sheep or cow you will find a herd. We all know that wolves hunt in groups; and fish swim in packs. But have we tried to find out why?

We never analyze how we make friends or companions. But if we do we will find that our friends are like us in most ways. They share the same values, the same lifestyles, the same ideas, and the same goals. This is what the Law of Attraction does; it brings all those things together that are alike.

True love

Most successful marriages are those where the man and woman are alike. The marriages where men and women have different tastes, different likes and different interests don’t last long. They fall apart. The apparent reasons for these marriages falling apart may be stress, workplace pressure or extra-marital affairs, but the base reason is always the same. The union in the first place was of two people who were not alike. They came together against the Law of Attraction. That is why they could not stay together even though they were bound by vows of holy matrimony.

In contrast, two individuals who are alike continue to live together as man and woman under the same roof even if they are not married. The society may frown on such relationships but it cannot force such couples to part ways. They have been brought together by the Law of Attraction. Theirs is not a relationship of convenience; theirs is a relationship based on shared values, shared likes and shared goals. This is what true love is. It is the joining of two hearts, two minds and two bodies that are alike.

How to draw true love

True love takes shape without our knowledge. In fact, have we ever stopped and wondered why we are attracted to a particular girl or a particular boy? There may be ten girls in a class of 25. How is it that we are attracted to one girl alone? How is it that we continue to come closer to that girl only, and not to other girls who may be equally pretty?
The first reaction of any such couple is that they are alike. Great. But how did they find each other? They were lucky; of course. They happened to be in the same class, is what they will tell you. But what about millions of other couples? Some met on a road, some in a train, some at a local dance, some in the church. But all bonded together. How?

This is where true love comes in. You don’t have to find true love; it finds you. You only have to recognize it. On first reading, it may sound bizarre. But the reality is that our thoughts are not limited to our mind. They are like waves of energy that keep radiating from our minds. When this energy collides with similar energy radiating from another mind, true love springs up. This is what we call a meeting of minds.

Love and lust
It is also love at first sight. However, for this love to blossom and bloom it has to go past physical lust. Often, the physical desire blocks the thoughts that our minds are radiating. We are so obsessed with each other that our minds refuse to tune in to each other’s thoughts. Such relationships, even when they get converted into marriage, are unlikely to last long.

That is why dating is so useful. It gives couples sufficient time to listen to each other’s unspoken thoughts. Their minds either continue to come closer or move apart. That is why we say that at times young couples have a mind of their own. They may be heartbroken if such relationships break. But their grief would only be temporary. The heartbreak would be much worse if the couples don’t listen to their inner mind, and hope that they can change their partners once they get married. It will never happen..

Healthy relationships

The Law of Attraction is not limited to the world of love alone. It operates in the professional and the social world too. It is this law that brings two individuals together to forge a successful business partnership. It is also this law that brings two thieves or two crooks together – because their minds radiate the same thoughts.

Everything would be so simple if this law worked properly. Individuals who shared the same likes would live together; individuals who shared different viewpoints would live in their own world. But this does not happen. How often do we read in newspapers of a good man destroyed by a trusted colleague? How often we share tales of a rich man lured by a shark?

This happens when we switch off our mental antennas or when we close our minds to negative thoughts. We get blinded by our desires. There is no meeting of minds but a meeting of interests. When this happens we are bound to lose. This is where good men go astray.

That is why it is important to build social or professional relationships with an open mind. If you get a feeling that everything is not right about a person you have met, you must respect that feeling. Don’t allow monetary interests to overpower your feelings. Avoid that individual before it is too late.

This will allow you to build relationships that are in your interest, relationships that you will cherish – not regret.

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Growing up: Wounds and Traumas that happened to you that will draw unhealthy relationships to yourself

2009-03-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

Growing up: Wounds and Traumas that happened to you that will draw unhealthy relationships to yourself
~ Cucan Pemo

Relationships are like physical magnets. That is why you find that most people who enter into a relationship are alike. This also applies to children who have been abused during their childhood. They somehow attract other adults who have had similar experience.

However, very few of these relationships tend to be stable. People who have had a traumatic childhood need more mature partners. They don’t need partners who are emotionally and mentally scarred. Unfortunately, as the Law of Attraction states, they continue to attract partners who are like them.

Kinds of child abuse
However, before examining relationships between adults who have had a traumatic childhood it is important to understand the different kinds of child abuse. Psychologists recognize four clear acts of abuse. These are:

Physical abuse: This happens when children are repeatedly beaten by hands, fists, sticks etc for small misdemeanors. Physical abuse may leave permanent scars, both physical and emotional.
Sexual acts: This happens when children are forced to touch private parts or are made to commit unnatural acts. Most children end up getting confused, and feeling dirty and unhealthy.
Emotional abuse: In this case the child is deprived love, affection or acceptance within the family. Instead the child may is constantly shouted at, criticized, ridiculed and verbally abused.
Neglect: This happens when a child is deprived of proper food, warmth, shelter, clothing etc. The child then hungers for material and emotional comforts and may grow up to have an unhealthy affinity for physical needs.

The unfortunate thing is that most acts of child abuse are either committed by parents, elder brothers, sisters, stepfathers, stepmothers, babysitters or by people who form the immediate family. In very rare cases a child will suffer at the hands of an outsider.

The result is that the child does not grow up into a healthy individual. Deep within this individual is a child who feels threatened and abused all the time. The individual is like a split personality, normal on the surface but irrational inside.

The behavior of these individuals also tends to be unpredictable. They will behave normally most of the time. But there will be times when they may turn violent, abusive, and aggressive. They are unable to relate with any individual for long periods of time. Even when they enter into a relationship they enter hesitantly. They are always worried of getting into one more unhappy relationship.

If possible, they would like to find someone who can give them solace; erase their painful memories, and make them live normally. But where can they find such partners? Their subconscious mind keeps telling them to be on guard; and not to enter into another bruising relationship. That is why most of their relationships are brief and unnatural.

Children of divorced families
We should also not forget children whose parents break up during their growing years. These children may not suffer from any direct abuse but emotionally they are shattered. The effect is especially noticeable among those children who have seen their parents inflict physical and emotional wounds upon each other. Such children tend to slip into depression, become unnaturally quiet and withdrawn or turn into bullies.

They too, when they become adults, get attracted to men and women who come from divorced families. Many of them would not like their partners to go through the same private hell as their parents did. But the insecurity of the past does not leave them untouched. Many of them end up going through similar motions, sooner than later.

Can counseling help
The experience is especially nightmarish for those individuals who happen to have suffered similar abuse during childhood. They may be initially attracted to each other when they first share their experiences. They may get a feeling that they have finally found someone who can relate to them. But this euphoria is short-lived. It is not long before they start getting into each other’s way, and start blaming each other for their troubles. The anger and hurt may even be passed onto unsuspecting children. It is like a vicious cycle, a story of pain without end.

What is needed is mature counseling, and the willingness to change. The counseling is especially helpful in those cases where both the partners seek it together. They then find one more reason to hold onto each other. Otherwise, victims of child abuse, who did not get proper counseling when they were children, continue to live like the proverbial bull in the china shop hurting themselves and everyone around them.

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Experiential exercises you can do everyday and which will teach you how to love intimately

2009-03-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

Experiential exercises you can do everyday and which will teach you how to love intimately
~ Cucan Pemo

Few people realize the power of experiential exercises. Fewer still know how to make full use of them. But those who do are able to unlock the reservoirs of positive energy present in their body. They feel healthier in body, in mind, and in soul. They are able to drive negative thoughts and negativity from their minds and their surroundings.

Most important, they radiate positive energy when they reach out to others, energy that helps them build stronger and more intimate relationships. There is a spring and bounce in their steps; they do not get depressed easily; and they learn to enjoy life much more than others.

Experiential workshops
There are several groups that hold week or month-long experiential workshops where they teach breathing and body exercises. Most of these are group exercises, and an individual is required to follow the group leader or the trainer. Some of these workshops are residential, where the participants are provided healthy food to cleanse their systems of toxins. The experience invariably is explosive; participants go in as tired, stressed out individuals but come out full of energy.

The exercises are backed by healing sessions which are aimed to dissolve fears, guilt and shame about sex. Most of the messages are conveyed through movement, music, creative art, breathing exercises hypnotherapy, and meditation. There is a feeling of intimacy and playful sharing. Individuals not only get to know their bodies better but how to use it to derive greater pleasure.

Breathing exercises and meditation
The object of breathing exercises and meditation is to drive out toxins and negative feelings from the body and generate positive energy. Both perform this task in their own way. The breathing exercises drive out carbon dioxide from the body, and replace it with oxygen. The cells, which were battling with carbon dioxide earlier, get a flood of oxygen to breathe. They get energized and the chemical reactions occurring in them get a new life; they generate more energy that make individuals feel all charged up, alert, energetic and raring to go.

Meditation, on the other hand, relaxes the body muscles and removes stress. It also drives away negative thoughts and forces individuals to focus on positive images. An individual feels relaxed and content. He finds it easier to deal with partners, and the day to day stresses and strains of life. He does not get worked up, and enjoys whatever he does.

His love life improves because he can bring much more to the relationship. There is greater intimacy, and there is greater give and take. The individual is not in a hurry; he wants to cherish each moment of his love life.

The soft touches
The teachers of experiential exercises encourage soft touches or activities that touch the senses. That is why the experiential exercises are conducted against a background of soft music, which is all the time washing against the bodies of participants, cleansing them, touching emotional chords, making them feel better.

The participants are also asked to draw. This is a great way for the unconscious mind to express itself. The trainer gets a chance to see the individual’s inner feelings, the thoughts that first come to participant’s mind. It’s another way to purge negative thoughts by making the individual aware of what his subconscious mind is thinking.

Self-acceptance
Experiential exercises train us in self-acceptance. They make us realize that a healthy body is the gateway to a healthy mind, and a healthy soul. They make us accept ourselves as we are, and turn us into better human beings. This, in itself, is a great achievement. Our lives improve several-fold the day we learn to be at peace with ourselves.

But all this will not happen in an instant. It takes years of training to move from the physical to the spiritual level. Individuals need to be patient. They must understand that they need to cleanse their body and mind of all negativity – which means thoughts and acts pertaining to pain, violence, jealousy, hate, anger, dislike etc – before they can move to a higher level.

This should not, however, dampen their enthusiasm. Instead they should celebrate the coming together of body, heart and soul. They will find that they are better able to internalize the pleasures of love. They can reach out to their partners more fully, and bring more fulfillment to their sexual lives.

The union of bodies will not generate any feelings of shame or guilt because the experiential exercises would have purged these feelings. There is more joy, and more intimacy in each union.

So, if you have not felt the power of experiential exercises till now you should try to do so. It is an activity that has the potential to change your life -- forever.

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7 Magical Ways To Make A Woman Feel Like You Were The Most Wonderful Mate She Could Ever Imagine

2009-03-01T22:03:00.000-08:00

7 Magical Ways To Make A Woman Feel Like You Were The Most Wonderful Mate She Could Ever Imagine" By Cucan Pemo
When you know that you have found the perfect woman for you, you want to make sure that she feels the same way. You want her to be as happy with you as you are with her. In order to do this, you may want to figure out a way to make her know and understand that she has the most perfect mate for her. You will want to know what to say to her to make her realize that she has found her true love.
Say what is important to her
The first thing that you want to do is find out what is important to her. Find out if she wants her man to coddle of her or give her more freedom. You do not want to seem too overbearing and crowd her. Tell her that she is important to you and that you want to make sure that she has what she needs. This is something that will make her feel good and know that you are the perfect mate for her.
Tell her that she looks nice
The most important thing that a woman wants to hear is that she looks good. No matter where you are going or if you are sitting on the couch watching TV, you need to compliment her and tell her how wonderful she looks. This is the only way that you will be able to make her know and understand that you think she is a beautiful woman and she will think you are the most perfect mate in the world.
Ask her if she needs anything
This is something that a lot of men forget to do. It is important that we take care of the woman in our lives as she takes care of us. When we get up to get a drink, ask her if she needs anything. You are going to the kitchen anyway, so what is the big deal? On your way home at night, ask her if you can bring her anything. This is a great way for a woman to know that you are sincere and quite possibly the most perfect man in the world for her.

I love you
These are the three little words that mean the most. When a woman is in love, it is important for her to know that the man she is in love with feels the same. If you do, you should make it known. Women love this. You should tell the woman of your dreams that you love her when she is least expecting it. Tell her in the middle of a movie, on the way to dinner or on an unexpected phone call from work. This will make a woman feel good and happy with their choice for the perfect man.
Romance her
Do not be afraid to talk sweet nothings into her ear. Make the woman feel good by saying sweet and romantic things to her at any given time. You can say them when you are having a romantic dinner together or you can say them in a passionate moment. These words will make her heart flutter and she will know that she is in love.
Ask her how she is feeling
This is something that is hard for any man to do. Asking a woman to share her feelings with them is not always easy. In fact this is something that can totally be hard for a man to do. However, if you find a woman that is perfect for you and you want to make her feel the same about you, you may have to suck it up a little. Sharing feelings with a woman is one way to ensure that the relationship is going in a good direction that both people can feel comfortable with.
Be honest with her
When you want to impress a woman, you will have to be honest with her. Make sure that you are telling her the truth about what you want and how you feel. Tell her that you love her and that you think she is perfect for you. Sharing how you feel and that you want to be with her may be a great idea to bring the both of you closer. Tell her when you will be late and what you are doing. Do not keep secrets. This is some thing that most women will really appreciate and that a lot of men do not do in a relationship. When she knows that you are devoted to her, she will probably feel the same way and she will know that she has the right man to spend the rest of her life with.
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10 Secret Techniques To Make Your Partner Want To Have More Sex With You

2009-03-01T22:01:00.001-08:00

10 Secret Techniques To Make Your Partner Want To Have More Sex With YouBy Cucan Pemo
A relationship is very involved, both on the physical and the intimate levels. One person may feel the need to cuddle (such as your woman) while you on the other hand, don’t want to be too close after you are relaxed, and feeling completely satisfied.
What you are going to find is that there are many things that are going to make your partner want to have more sex with you, and sometimes you are going to have to give a little, so you can get a lot more back in return.

1) Think about sex, and tell her you are thinking about sex, even if it is over the phone What you may not realize is that women are going to think about sex more than you want to realize. A woman is going think about how you talked to her, how you kissed her, and how you rubbed your whiskers on her cheek the night before. Your partner is going to want to have more sex, the more they are thinking about sex, and the more often you tell her that she is sexy. Make an intimate call. Tell your partner all about what you want to do to her, and how you want to do it, and then let her think about that all day until she gets to see you again!

2) Spending a few minutes alone, in the dark, as you listen to musicYou might find it a little boring, but sometimes all you need to do, to get more sex in your life is feel a little closer, to put the hurried portions of the day behind you and just listen to a little music. Not many couples sit back, relax and just listen to music. Sometimes music is going to be very sexy, putting you or your partner, or both of you in the mood at the same time. Instead of just climbing into bed, and watching the news or the late show, you should turn on a bit of your favorite music and sit close with your partner.

3) Take a shower before you come and cuddle up close to your partner Women are often turned on by the smell of cologne, or by the smell of soap. In taking a shower every night before you climb into bed, no matter how tired you are, you are creating a memory in her mind, of the clean smell she loves the most. Use this smell and the need to be close to you for your own advantage, so you can have more sex, more often. Sexual attractions are very strong, and if you are not using your natural abilities to attract your partner, you very well could be losing out on a good bit of good sex.

4) Baby your partner for a while, stroking, petting and being beside her Don’t be afraid to play around and lick her neck. The worst thing that could happen is you fall asleep in each others arms, and you get a little more sex in the morning when she is refreshed from a good nights sleep – because she will remember what you want and what you felt like when she fell asleep in your arms. You will get more in the morning as she is sleeping well at night!

5) Don’t be passing gas or burping before you climb into bed You don’t want to be the man in front of your partner. She doesn’t want to see, hear or smell anything like that; it is not going to be a turn on. If you want to have more sex in your life, and bring your relationship closer as you are more intimate more often, pass on the beans, pass on the garlic, and be sweet smelling, and loveable – she will cuddle right up next to you more often!

6) Bring her a glass of wine at bedtime, and leave the lights on low You might not realize it but all she wants is a little time, just five minutes to unwind and your partner will be ready for a little alone time with you. Bring her a glass of wine, tea, or just water as she unwinds and gets ready for bed. You will be thoughtful and insightful and she will remember these small things as you reach over and kiss her. Your partner just loves being the center of attention and this doesn’t take much added energy at all on your part so you should give it a try!

7) Offer her a quick massage, nothing fancy or too long, just a brief rub down You might not realize it, but the feel of your hands, on her back, and on her chest is going to make a woman feel good. If you want to put more sex into your relationship, you should show your partner a little foreplay, a little extra care. A woman is going to be turned on as you touch the small of her back, the inside of her breast – and why? Because no one ever touches her in those places except for you, and with this touch you are going to excite her more often, showing her that you are intimate and that you want to pleasure her every need. You don’t even have to rub her hard, or touch her that long, just the soft gentle touches that show you are close to her will relay the message quite clearly.

8) Get in the shower with her, and let her see your hard on She likes to get in the shower and take a good long hot shower, and this is your opportunity to get in on the action. Slide into the shower, and rub her down with the soap. As you lather her up, rub up against her and let her feel how hard you are. You don’t have to have sex in the shower, just put her in the mood so she will be turned on and looking for action when she gets out of the shower. You surely already know what cologne is going to drive her crazy, so if you were to shower and put a little on, she is going to get turned on, and want you, even if she doesn’t consciously know it. Taking a shower is not only going to freshen you up, but it is going to wake you up and your partner at the same time.

9) Talk sweetly and quietly so you don’t wake the children The little things you say will get you a long way when it comes to getting more sex. If you tell your partner just how much you love her, how pretty she is, or how much you feel that she is a special part of your day, the better she is going to feel about your relationship. As she feels sexier, she is going to want you more. As she feels happier, she is going to offer herself to you more often. You can get a long way with a partner when you are whispering goodies in her ear, and all without waking the children!

10) Don’t just jump in bed, but slide into bed close to your partner and be next to her Slide into bed; slide right next to your partner. Jumping into bed, and making a ruckus is going to make your presence known but you are also going to annoy your partner a little more often. You want to be comfortable, and make your partner comfortable, so carefully climb into bed and get close. As you are sitting close with your partner, stroking her skin, and feeling her next to you, both of your are going to be more aroused. You will feel closer to each other and you will end up having sex more often. You can make this a habit, and when you see she is in bed with the music on, you are going to be in for a bit of sex again tonight. The trick here is to make it too bed, and not to sleep on the couch or on the recliner in the living room.
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Understanding Addictions In Relationship: What To Do If Your Partner Is An Alcoholic Addict?

2009-03-01T21:57:00.000-08:00

Understanding Addictions In Relationship: What To Do If Your Partner Is An Alcoholic Addict?By Cucan Pemo

There is no relationship that can breed more frustration and unhappiness than a relationship where one of the partners is an alcoholic. Such a relationship will be marked by constant arguments, financial turmoil, emotional blackmail and even physical abuse. It is a relationship where one partner is always at the receiving end, and lives on the hope that the addict will kick the habit one day.

What to expect in such relationships
These relationships can only bring unhappiness. There is bound to be loneliness, despair, and at times rage at what the addict is doing. There will also be constant confrontations. But these confrontations instead of driving the couple apart, often unite them.

This happens because of the helplessness displayed by addicts. The addicts break down at such confrontations pleading helplessness and beg support. They also make promises of moving away from the addiction, and never to hit the bottle again. It is this helplessness that pushes the other partner to provide the necessary emotional support. Unfortunately, this cycle of support-confrontation-support keeps getting vicious and vicious only.

Why can’t individuals break out of such cycles
Most would think that there is enough reason for a suffering mate to walk out of such a relationship. But this does not always happen. The partners invariably find a reason to stay on. This may be on account of fear of a future without financial security, an obsessive love for the mate, a fear of public disapproval or the need to keep the family together.

Sometimes the partners convince themselves that without them the addict will die. They therefore avoid doing anything that may hurt the addict. Some even convince themselves, that they alone can help the addict give up the bottle.

Whatever the reason, the partners convince themselves that they need to stay on, and that everything will be fine one day. The addicts make full use of such prevarication, and indulge in more emotional blackmail, and subtle arm-twisting.

How to identify if you are such a person
You are in danger of entering into such a relationship if you show the following characteristics:

You refuse to end the relationship even though you know that the relationship is bad for you, your career and your personal life.
You find reasons for sustaining the relationship even though you know that your logic is convoluted.
The thought of breaking the relationship throws you in a state of confusion, even panic, and you cling on, even more strongly, to it.
You suffer physical discomfort when you try to move to a place where your mate can’t reach you, and you yearn to get back to him.

What should you do to save the relationship
You first need to strengthen yourself. In this quest, you should not allow your morals or principles to weaken your resolve. Be ruthless in dealing with the addict. Treat addiction as a disease that needs to be cured. Don’t give in to emotional blackmail because then you will only end up feeding the disease.

Look upon yourself as an equal partner in the relationship. Don’t be manipulated into believing that you are the rescuer or a victim of an unfortunate relationship. Let the addict know that you have no desire to become a martyr for his cause. You must make sure that you do not accept the lies offered by the addict. As any psychologist will tell you, addicts are very adept at coming up with explanations that sound very convincing. This is how they delude themselves into continuing with their addiction, and forcing their loved ones into becoming unwitting partners in their addiction game.

You need to find a support group that understands your pains and sorrows, and can also help you overcome them. You will realize that you were blundering in a maze in your effort to salvage the relationship. The support group will show you the path to come out of the emotional maze that your subconscious mind has built, and also give you the strength to take that path.

You should even consider getting professional help. This may sound shocking to you initially because it is not you but your addict mate who needs professional help. But counseling can come in very useful in such a situation. It will give you the necessary emotional and mental strength to tackle the relationship blues.

Don’t stumble from crisis to crisis
You must give yourself sufficient time to either salvage the relationship or get out of it. Don’t become a slave of the addict because it will only suck you deeper and deeper into a world of unhappiness.

If you realize that you can’t change your mate then you must walk out of the relationship, however painful your action may be. You should feel no guilt or remorse because you gave the relationship the best shot possible. Thus, before you make your final decision, make sure you have tried all possible methods and ways to remedy the situation.

Now it is time for you to rebuild your life.
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Men! How to Break The Insidious Cycle of Relationship Failure

2009-03-01T21:55:00.000-08:00

Men! How to Break The Insidious Cycle of Relationship Failure By Cucan Pemo

It takes a long time to build a relationship. But it does not take long to destroy it. In fact, the cycle of failure needs no pushing; it gathers its own momentum. And once it does so, it becomes very difficult to stop it or put it in reverse gear.

The important thing is to stop the cycle of failure from moving on its own. This can only be done if the two partners realize what’s happening. One of them has to step forward, and stop the relationship from cracking.

Often it is men who are responsible for the emerging cracks in a relationship. This happens when they are overambitious or move up the ladder. They get so obsessed with their work that they forget their spouses. The distances increase, and a rift develops.

A relationship may also get affected if the man enters into another relationship. By doing so, he only makes life difficult for himself. The more he tries to hide his new relationship the more he complicates things.

There may be several other reasons for relationship failure but their effect invariably is the same.

Early signs of relationship failure

The first signs of a relationship that is in trouble are:

Man spending less time with his partner
A sharp spurt in arguments and quarrels over inconsequential issues
A gradual erosion of trust in each other
Sharp drop in lovemaking and sex life
Both start finding fault in each other.

How can men transform a breaking relationship

It is important for men to notice the growing signs of rift and disaffection. They cannot continue to live in their own world and allow a loving relationship to fall apart. The best is to act early and limit the damage.

This requires some introspection. The men first need to understand why the relationship has run into rough weather. Why is it that their spouse has become so touchy? Is it because they have started taking their spouse for granted? This happens in most relationships. The man gets so involved in his work that he forgets that his spouse altogether.

Things reach such a pass that a man has to make notes in his appointment diary of the lunch or dinner dates he needs to keep free for his wife. The spontaeniety that first characterized their relationship vanishes. The wife has to wait for her husband to find time for her. This leads to first boredom, then anger and then depression. In some cases, it may even force women to find another relationship that can keep them occupied. The man must act before this happens.

The cancer of suspicion
In many cases the relationship is torn by suspicion. The woman may have reason to believe that her man is carrying on with someone else. In some cases, it may only be suspicion. But in some cases, a flirtation can become a dangerous extra-marital relationship.

The man has to assure his wife that there is no other woman in his life. He cannot allow an extra-marital affair to come in the way of a long and happy relationship. He has to break off any ties that he may have developed if he has to save his relationship.

He will also have to show remorse at what he did. He will have to bend and beg forgiveness. More than that, he will have to assure his wife that this will not happen again. He will be lucky if he is forgiven. He can surely anticipate the chill to continue for some more time. It is for him to ensure that he wins his wife’s affection again.

In case, the chill is the result of suspicion alone then the man must demand an explanation. However, he should do with finesse. There is no reason why he should put his wife on the back foot. He is not settling scores or avenging a hurt. He is trying to rebuild trust in the relationship. He therefore needs to clear the air of any misgivings that his wife may have started entertaining. At the same time, he must start devoting more time to her.

Don’t forget respect
No relationship can be complete unless both the partners trust each other. They also need to treat each other with respect. In fact, mutual respect is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Any man who runs his woman down can never expect the relationship to last.

The man must create space within which the woman must feel comfortable. She must not be made to feel small in front of friends or children. The man must convey his points deftly without hurting a woman’s pride. He must also listen to her with full courtesy and seriousness. This alone can save many a relationship.

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Dealing With A Cold And Distanced Man: What To Do If HE Is Shutting Down?

2009-03-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

"Dealing With A Cold And Distanced Man: What To Do If HE Is Shutting Down?"By Cucan Pemo
A couple, as man and woman, will share feelings and each other constantly during a relationship. Often times a man can become self centered, distant and uninterested in what you do or how you are. The man who is distant can make a woman feel uneasy about herself, un-needed, unwanted and often times self conscience as you second guess what you are doing all the time.

So why is your man shutting down emotionally and pushing you further from the relationship than you are comfortable with? You will notice the difference right away, as he doesn’t hold your hand, as he isn’t calling you often, and even moments where he is not looking at you but past you while you are out on the town. The man needs to feel as if he is the center of attention. This doesn’t mean you have to become his love slave, or be at his beck and call, but you have to learn to make the man feel as if he is the center of your universe using your actions and reactions to the relationship.

The main reason men shut women out and become distant is because they are afraid.

Yes, the reason may surprise you but it is a well known fact that men who are afraid of becoming too dependent, too needy will push a woman back and put some distance between the two of you. A man can feel as if he loves you, but at the same time, is afraid of the commitment, afraid of becoming needed and wanted, where you will expect more of the relationship. The man who is afraid of a relationship is going to put some amount of emotional distance in the relationship, and this will be the distance you feel.

Another reason men put distance in the relationship is because they feel overwhelmed by need
What many women are surprised about, and no man is going to admit, is they will become distant in a relationship because they feel too needed, and you or the family is too demanding. A man must feel a little freedom in his life, where he feels important and able to be himself with out always doing something for you or because of you. While it is hard to change, you can cut the distance in your relationship by helping your man feel a little more freedom and at ease in his life.

The cure is easy for the distance in a relationship such as this; allow his to enjoy his life. As a man enjoys his life, he will find he also needs you there to share in his joys, and accomplishments. The added freedom could be that he loves watching football, or loves being at the baseball field, or that he loves coaching youth teams. Giving him the time to enjoy his own past times and hobbies is going to give him the freedom in his life that every man needs. He will ultimately feel good about himself, and where he is in life, and in turn will want to share more with you, and be closer to you because of it.

Think about the many things you do, say and how you ‘are’ that may lead to your man being distant emotionally. Are you putting too much pressure on the relationship as you say you ‘love him’ all the time, or that you ‘need him’ all the time. You, as the woman, need to back off on the telling him all the emotions in your life, and focus only on showing him how much you love him. Showing a person, a man, how much you love him is going to be much more valuable in the relationship than actually saying it aloud all the time.

For example, if he is leaving a business trip for a few days, show him you love him by putting something in his suitcase that will remind him of you while he is away. Just a little note, with a heart, and no words, no written message, just the hidden message of your love he will find at a later date. Calling your man and telling him you love him every five hours while he is away is going to put pressure on the relationship he may not need, want, or have the time to tend to while he is away on business.

So, what can you do to keep the relationship alive?

Keeping the relationship alive is going to be much easier than you might have thought before. As a woman, you are constantly working and tending to the needs of your relationship. To keep the relationship alive you want to show the man how you feel instead of saying it aloud all the time. Make him coffee in the morning, or make his lunch before he leaves every day, your actions speak louder than words in many cases.

Keep the relationship alive by taking the time to make his favorite meal, or do your hair in the way he loves most. Keep the relationship alive by putting on sexy perfume even when you are sitting around the house. A man needs to feel you love him, but without having to hear it all the time.
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Women! How To Bring Back An Ex Who Is Cheating On You?

2009-03-01T21:45:00.000-08:00

"Women! How To Bring Back An Ex Who Is Cheating On You?"By Cucan Pemo
You have recently found out that the man you love is cheating on you. The word cheating doesn’t always mean the act of having sex, but it could be a dependency on seeing another woman, the need to hear her voice, a need to please her. So, you have caught him in the act of cheating on you, and now you want to bring him back into your life. Can you really learn to forgive him for straying from your heart? This is a tough question only few women are going to be able to answer truthfully.

You can bring back the man who is cheating on you, no matter how far the cheating has went, and no matter how bad the hurt is really inside your heart. The trick to bringing back a man is to think back to a point in your life together, that will show you what he loves the most. Does he have to be babied all the time? Does he want supper on the table at a certain hour?

Does your ex feel that he should be making the money in the home? On the other hand, perhaps you have always given your complete attention to this man? While you want to bring back the man you love, and change his ways there are a few things you will have to change as well to bring him back and keep him. You can be sneaky or just outright changed, but it will depend on how much you want this man back in your life.

What Should You Do To Keep The Relationship?

You can be sneaky about the attack. If you feel certain you love this man, and you want him back find out where he will be and when he will be there as often as you can. Make it a point to be in the same places, and at the same parties. Get your hair done, your nails done, and be fun loving self. Talk to everyone in the room but him the entire night so he feels your presence but not your attention. As you are getting ready to leave for the night, be sure to say hello, and nothing more to your ex, but it is important to do it with a smile.

After a few ‘run ins’ like this on several different occasions you are going to be on his mind all the time which will lead him to want you more and more, until he calls you. The only way this sneaky method is going to work is if you are able to act as if nothing bothers you, avoid the fact he cheating, don’t talk about it with others in the room and more importantly don’t embarrass either of you by saying anything in public. Build his awareness of your creative sexiness, and availability without giving him the satisfaction of seeing you mope around. Be fun, loving, and sexy with every one in the room, as you make him notice you are a woman who can get by without him. Most men feel the urge to be in a woman’s life when they realize they are not needed, as strange as it may seem.

How Do You Decide It is Time To Leave The Relationship

The pain you feel every time you see your ex, no matter how much you love him is going to help you determine if it is time to leave him. If you feel you, need him back only because he left you, or that because his heart is not following yours own, it could be time to leave the cheater behind?

The pain you feel because you love a person, unconditionally is different from the pain you feel because you have been ‘dissed’. How can you tell the difference? If you feel angry because he is cheating, you are not truly missing him. If you want to hurt him, you are not truly in love with him. If you miss how he holds you, talks with you, or you miss how you spend time together just being together; you miss him and should think about taking the cheater back.

Should You Give Him A Chance?

The decision to let him go is going to be one that is difficult to make, but you can make it on your own. The feelings of anger, and embarrassment are going to be two feelings that are difficult to overcome. These feelings are going to put a roadblock in the relationship forever, as you can never rebuild the trust while these feelings are present. If you can’t get passed the anger, and the feeling of abandonment, you should leave him where he is with someone else. If you feel confident in yourself, and in your abilities to get by without the man, but you miss him in your life you should try to get him back.

The only real reason to give a man, who has cheated on you in some or in any manner, is going to be based on the fact of love, and not a need. If you need him to care for the children, if you need him to pay the bills, or if you need him for other materialistic things, you should leave him be, no matter how hard it is. If you want the man in your life, just because of the love, you have shared, and the memories you have built together, you should track him down and make him yours again.

Being together, as a couple for love no matter what else, is reason enough to track the man down and give him another chance – but overall you are going to have to sit back and do some serious thinking about the relationship before taking that leap. Find the difference between the need and the want and you will be able to confront yourself, making a solid choice for your life and the cheating man.
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If There Is Truly 'Love At First Sight', Why does Your Lover Strays?

2009-03-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

"If There Is Truly 'Love At First Sight', Why does YourLover Strays?" By Cucan Pemo
When your relationship or marriage is going downhill, youhave to learn to take time to pause, ponder over yourrelationship circumstance, and look for solution instead ofmistakes.
Whatever you do, focus on holding tight to your partner'shand, so that he or she will not be beaten by thedestructive forces that are coming their way and hurting therelationship.
It is well for us to understand that genuine love is not asimple, definite feeling that can be easily comprehended andcontrolled.
It is a delicate compound of many of our most powerfultendencies and emotions. To love is not a simple orvoluntary act; it is a life of spontaneous, complex andcontinuous activities.
True love between man and woman may manifest itselfsuddenly, forcefully and almost simultaneously in theconsciousness of each. There is no doubt that many couplesmutually "fall in love at first sight." On the other hand,genuine love may be a matter of slow growth, requiringmonths to unfold and years to mature.
Some of the most delightful marriage unions known haveresulted from a slowly developing love. Some persons arevery susceptible to the charms of physical beauty or to theattractions of character, and immediately surrender to themwhen opportunity offers.
Others are slow to receive impressions, distrustful orappearances and cautious in all that pertains to soimportant a matter.
Many relationship cases of "love at first sight", withalmost an immediate marriage, have proven entirelyharmonious; but such spontaneous and rapid alliances arecomparatively rare, and more rarely satisfactory.
As a rule, it is much wiser for young couples, even thoughthey may feel irresistibly drawn toward each other, to meetmany times under various circumstances before concludingthat they are really so completely in love with each otheras to marry.
Frequent meetings, with opportunities for a careful study ofeach other's tastes and peculiarities, the inevitablefriction of mind with mind in repeated conversations, andsuch disclosures of principles, desires and habits as willinevitably result from repeated association and increasedknowledge of each other's ambitions and deepest longings.
For myself, the occasional accidental or prearrangedmeetings with my partner and long time friend, when aredeeply interested in each other and dreaming of love - thewalks and rides taken together, the public gatheringsattended in each other's company - all contribute not onlyto an increased knowledge of each other's character, butalso tend to harmonize and blend our tastes, principles,purposes.
When things went wrong, I often asked myself, "What exactlyhappened when he strays? What exactly contributed to ourconflicts when everything seemed to be going so well for us?What had I done to allow another person to come into ourlives so easily and quickly??"
I've come to a conclusion.
And my discoveries could well give you some insights whichyou can adopt and adapt to your own relationshipcircumstances.
I've discovered I myself cannot help but be attracted toanother person who can confirm my doubts, fears andsuspicions.
In fact, if there is one other person who can grab myattention and remove my focus away from my mate, this WILLbe a person who knows this unusual and little known secret.
You do not need to take a great deal of time to understandthis secret. In fact, it has often been used by leaders whocan persuade and motivate large masses of people. It couldalso have been used by one of your closest friends, on YOU!
Now, think about this, in your daily life, are you sayingall of these or behaving in these ways during yourinteraction with your partner/spouse:
~ When your mate claims that he (she) is tired, instead ofassessing the situation, do you immediately and impatientlyblame him/her for being lazy or inconsiderate?
~ When your mate expresses his/her fear of giving that bigpresentation for the company the next day, do you askhim/her to just get over it and work hard on polishing thespeech tonight?
~ When your partner complains to you about the unfairtreatment he/she is receiving from the vendor from whom hehas bought his ipod, do you say "serves you right for notlistening to my advice about buying from that vendor", or,do you say "well, he needs to do business", and then youproceed to give him some "moral" lessons which he can takeaway with him tonight?
I certainly have made all these mistakes.
By dismissing my partner's feelings, doubts, fears or evensuspicions, I leave myself (and my partner) vulnerable to myrivals who knowingly (or unknowingly) are able to make useof these simple principles.
Many parents too have made this mistake with their children,perhaps unknowingly. I remembered when I told my mother that"I'm scared of the test tomorrow"; she gave me a scolding,for not working hard for my test earlier. "You wouldn't feelunprepared and fearful if you had done your work!" was allshe could say.
Naturally, I found myself listening more to my friends andclassmates than to her. If I confided in my friends with thesame statement, they would tell me, "Look. It won't be easy.I'm not well prepared too. But, WE can do something aboutit!"
If you take some time to think about it, it wouldn't bedifficult to understand why I would listen more to myfriends than to my parents. I got the feeling "hey, we areon the same boat! YOU are the only one who understands me(my feelings!)"
My friends have more power over me than my parents. And allthe while my parents are puzzled why "I'm so disobedient!"
This also explains why people leave long term relationshipsand marriages for another person who are able to "understandthem" better than their current partners!
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How To Get Rid of Your Stale Relationship Once and For All!

2009-03-01T21:38:00.000-08:00

"How To Get Rid of Your Stale Relationship Once and ForAll!" By Cucan Pemo
Is your relationship or marriage going downhill?
When you discover that your relationship has become staleand you always find it boring to even hang out with the loveof your life, it is a sure sign that you need to dosomething about your relationship. Do not be depressed aboutyour relationship circumstances or marriage situation. Tryapply the following strategies to rekindle the passion inthe relationship. These strategies can be so powerful andquick-acting that you would be amazed at the sudden, happyresults they unfailingly bring to your love problems.
1) There are couples who have reached the stage of "even ifthere is no communication, but we have reached a stage ofmutual understanding and appreciation of each other'spresence". Be aware! This does not guarantee that yourrelationship or marriage would be long lasting! Many of myreaders have had such experiences. All along they have beenthinking that their relationship life is so smooth going andobstacles-free, and when one day their lover come up to themand tell them they want to leave the relationship, they gotthe big shock of their life . Your relationship needs to beattended to every now and then, no matter how easy going andbrilliant everything seems to be at the moment.
As we surf through life, we are going to learn the lessonslife is going to throw at each and every one of us,including yourself and your partner. No one can guaranteethat the thoughts that you are holding dear and true toyourself (or even to your partner), will be the same thenext day. This is how we will grow, develop and improve. Itis normal that you have disagreements with each other oncein a while. In fact, it is healthy; and it can help you todevelop more understanding towards your partner. If you areconstantly having negative feelings about yourself, yourpartner or even your own relationship circumstance. Rememberthis fact, which has often been overlooked. Negative andunhappy feelings are caused by us, not by exteriorhappenings. Your life circumstance and events present thechallenge, but it is YOU who react to it. What you need todo is to work on the ways you handle things and take things,NOT to the things themselves.
2) In order to rekindle the passion and harmony in yourrelationship, returning it to the way it once is, you haveto learn how to regain your natural and spontaneous feelingfor life. Break focus. Concentrate not on your relationshipor marriage problems, but on becoming the solution. Yoursolution is often not how HE/SHE has changed, will changeinto, or is going to change into. The solution is YOU. Ifyou are sad about your relationship, what most of you wouldnormally do is to immediately take yourself as the feeling(of sadness). You think you are this "feeling", which youare not. And you would find yourself tend to double themistake by telling yourself, "I am unhappy. I am sad." Themore you say it, the sadder you feel; the sadder you feel,the more you'll say it. There, you have a vicious cycle.
3) Recall when you go for your first date, you are bubblingwith excitement and much anticipation. I know how it feels.It happens to me. I love that feeling, of initially fallingin love. As you go for more dates, and you understand eachother more and more, your anxiety and doubts about therelationship will reside.
You want to see more of each other. You have a stronginterest in developing this relationship and love further.You do everything you can to nurture it, and make sure thatit grows. When you have finally succeeded in settling downwith the love of your life, your wish of wanting to keepnourishing and nurturing this relationship subside. When youare starting to have this type of feeling, you have to nottake things for granted. Taking your relationship forgranted is often a sure way of growing your relationshipproblems. Put some heart and thoughts about bringing someexcitement and life into your relationship.
Always bear in mind, there is never an end to how far andhow much you can grow and develop your love and relationshipfor each other.
4) Drop your unrealistic expectations of the other person.True Love is not craving or attachment. When there iscraving involved, it is not genuine love. It is a secretwish to flee from your unwanted self into the other person.I have readers who have such strong cravings for anotherperson that they suffer the torment of missing him/herwhenever they are not around. Why suffer? Try to understandthat this is all unrealistic imagination of the otherperson, whoever they are .
It is your egoistic mind painting a false image of him/her.He (Her) is attractive, very likely because they represent aneed in you which you may or may not be aware of - all thosegood qualities such as strength, perseverance,determination, truthfulness, loyalty, etc. But suchqualities are not a reality in the other person. You canview this person differently. Choose to view that person inthis way. You'll be surprised at the result you'll get, justlike myself. Whenever my partner is not behaving or reactingin the way I (secretly) want to see and feel, I just remindmyself that I can view this person differently. He (She) hasnot changed. I have.
5) Understand that there are different types ofrelationships existing in this world. Your love for eachother could be similar to that of mother-child, or it couldmirror that of a brother-sister relationship. Whatever itis, if one party is too protective of the other person, andthe other person is not reciprocating appropriately,pressure will start to occur; misunderstanding would ensue.Consciously work on the balance in your relationship. Ifyour mate has been loving to you, show your love or showyour appreciation for him/her. If your partner is busy, keepyourself busy.
When your relationship problems start to overwhelm you, slowdown, take a deep, deep pause. Tell yourself there isanother way to live. It does exist. Thought elusive, it isalways there. You can be happy and clam always. Welcome theobstacles and problems in your relationship life. They willeventually awaken you to the very life you seek.
The understanding of your sadness and unhappiness will leadyou onto the path to true awakening. You cannot become happyby changing your exterior happenings. It is true. You cannotimprove your handwriting just by changing a new pen. Whentrying to solve your relationship or love problems, chooseto react to every situations constructively. It is useful toremember this. Take note of it. I pin it in front of me sothat I will always be reminded of the truth, each andeveryday "You feel good not because your relationship lifeis right; but your relationship life is right because youfeel good!"
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An Important Realization To Apply To Any Kinds of Human Relationships

2009-03-01T21:35:00.000-08:00

An Important Realization To Apply To Any Kinds of Human RelationshipsBy Cucan Pemo
Have you always wondered why do kids resist their parents even though they have their interests at heart? This happens to me when I am young. I find that I am attracted towards my friends and buddies in schools than towards my mentors, teachers or even my parents.
I never really explored the reasons why, until recently, and this important realization can be applied to any kinds of human relationships. Years of being in a relationship with my partner has made me realized that more often than not, my reality is not HIS reality (the same goes to men). Conflicts, arguments, quarrrels, misunderstanding and disagreements often come about if neither party in a couple relationship understand this. Now, what can we do to understand, or even, to get into his/her reality?
Everyone of us, whether you are a man or woman, need to feel genuinely needed and understood. I find that I can create a better relationship with my mate just by creating a sense that he (she) is being understood, by echoing his thoughts back to him! Yes, you may disagree with your partner's beliefs and thoughts; but always remember this. His/Her reality is NOT your reality at times, many times! When my partner learn I think just like he does he feel validated and soon attraction and connection begin to develop.
Kids are very often attracted to particular groups of friends; and these are not just any kinds of friends. These are friends who truly understand them and accept them for who they are. They satisfied their most precious need, the need to feel validated and needed. If you realize your kids, or even your partner, has changed or transformed drastically in his lifestyle or even his character, loves to hang out with some particular groups of people, or even suddenly abandoning a particular way of life for another, the reason is often nothing more than the person finally felt being noticed and accepted for who he is.
This need is what made us feel normal, and human.
If you have problems making a connection with your partner, or even reading his/her mind, understand that you don't have to be a psychic for doing so. The secret is to learn the art of paying highly focused attention to the other person. This is the secret shared by many writers or speakers who often have to speak on stage to large groups of audience. They are able to create the sense that their audience is understood by echoing their thoughts back to them!
I once attended a seminar where the speaker shared with us his secret of success on stage and how he had been able to capture the attention of so many people quickly and certainly. He said, "Ask them what they want you to tell them; and tell them what they have told you!"
If you cannot get "into" their reality (and get this, it is not necessary to do so even though being able to do so is definitely an advantage to you), realize that nothing is more compelling to a person than having someone totally focused on and intently listening to them.
We can't resist the people who are really "into" us! We can't help it. What most of us want is to feel needed and validated!
Your tip for the day: People need to feel genuinely needed and understood.
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What He Wants Could Be What They All Want

2009-03-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

What He Wants Could Be What They All WantBy Cucan Pemo
I had a heated argument with my partner the other day. He had to do an important presentation for his company the next day; but had delayed preparing and finishing up his presentation early until the day before the actual presentation.
Subsequently, he didn't do well for his presentation, and was criticized by his superior. He came back with a bad mood and when he gave me a call; there was anger, disappointment and frustration in his voice. He was shouting and wailing at the same time. We ended up having a heated argument over the phone. I felt that he deserved what he had gone through, since he was not capable of organizing himself and his schedule to finish up his report and presentation early. He was so mad at me that he didn't talk to me for over a week!
I was upset over this incident. It was not my intention to damage our relationship over such a small matter. It was then I realized I had violated one of the most important basic needs of any humans. Most, if not all, people need to be right. I had made him wrong for being so incapable by scolding him.
Over the past weekend, he called me again. It happened that he had some conflicts with one of his co-worker, who had been giving him some problems during work. As usual, he began to vent his frustrations over the phone. Having realized the mistake I had made previously, this time, instead of emphazing how his hot-temperedness and impatience must have provoked his co-worker, I stressed how sorry I was to hear about his bad day at work. There was an immediate change in his attitude; and he became a lot clamer during our short conversation.
I let him be right, which was what he wanted. He let me have a peaceful time with him, which is what I had wanted.
Your tip for the day: People need to be right.
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The Dilemma of Mr. Y - Perception IS Reality

2009-03-01T20:03:00.000-08:00

The Dilemma of Mr. Y - Perception IS RealityBy Cucan Pemo
One of my male friends just fell out of relationship the past week. There was a third party involved and the girl he was involved with ran away with someone else. To make matter worse, this girl was involved with one of his co-workers at his workplace!
Being a hot tempered person by nature, naturally this friend of mine, let's call him Mr Y., was unhappy and angry about his situation. He called me and confided in me. He vowed to take revenge; and in his perception, taking revenge was easy for him, since both himself and the other guy work at the same place.
Shocked, I attempted to persuade him to keep his cool and review his circumstance. Taking revenge is definitely an unwise way to resolve issues!
He was as stubborn as a bull! And no matter how I tried to persuade him to change his mind about taking revenge and doing foolish things, he was determined to carry out his plan. I even got our common pals to try to talk him out of taking revenge and to help him to think clearly about his situation and to be aware of the the disastrous consequences he would be facing in undertaking such foolish actions.
All my pals had no luck either.
I changed my strategies.
I repeatedly pointed out to him that there was no benefit he could gain by undertaking unreasonable and foolish actions against the other guy.
I listed all the disadvantages of him taking unreasonable actions against his co-worker. He was clearly at a disadvantage. Whatever he was planning and going to do was not going to put him in a good light; and would only deepen the misunderstanding between himself and his girlfriend.
I tried to make him see the bigger picture of how his way of handling personal issues will affect his company and the people around him.
I even tried to "threaten" him pointing out to him the scenario that he would likely be kicked out of his workplace by his boss for disrupting the harmony in the company.
He turned a deaf ear to all my well-meaning advice.
I couldn't bear to see him fall into his own trap. Being an ardent student of human nature, one day, after some careful thoughts, I text him a message, saying, "If you can forgive and forget, you would be a stronger person, and you would be blessed in many, many ways!"
During that night, he gave me a call, saying that my message came to him just in time. He was about to confront his co-worker when he received my message.
That message striked a chord in him. He kept his cool and didn't carry out his plan for revenge.
You see, his perception IS reality.
He couldn't talk himself out of dropping his plan for revenge not because he didn't want to; he tried, but because he couldn't make himself feel good if he did so.
The strategies both myself and our pals were using previously had all been based on 'fear' and 'threat', trying to make him see the disadvantages of his actions, and how his actions could get himself into trouble, giving his other co-workers very bad impression, losing his job, losing his girlfriend, disrupting the harmony at his workplace, and such likes. All of these couldn't make him change his mind. Instead, it made him even more determined to carry out his 'revenge'.
So, what made him change his mind? The key lies in the sentence "you would be a stronger person".
Finally, he could see himself in a more positive light, and he managed to convince himself that he was, afterall, a stronger person by not taking any foolish or unreasonable actions against his co-worker.
And, how can this little episode relate to your own relationship circumstance?
Have you been wondering whether you should tell your mate that you have changed for the better?
Have you thought that you have done a lot and yet you are still not satisfied with your relationship circumstance or how your partner is behaving towards you?
Have you been using manipulative measures, 'fear' or 'threat' strategies, without even realizing it?
Have you thought that you have done your best and yet you wonder why your partner has not changed a single bit?
Remember this, your partner's or your spouse's perception IS Reality.
Their dissatisfaction (or satisfaction) with their relationship with you was related to their perception of how they were being treated by you - their mate.
Take note that I said their perception of how they were treated and not how they were treated. This is very important. It means that in some, maybe many of those cases, you may have worked very hard and thought that you have done your very best to treat your partner well, perhaps even actually treated them fairly.
However, what you did is not the issue. It is how your partner or spouse perceived what you did that counts.
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How To Hold The Keys To Your Partner's Heart and Mind

2009-03-01T19:58:00.001-08:00

How To Hold The Keys To Your Partner's Heart and MindBy Cucan Pemo
Would you like to possess the power to be able to penetrate into your partner's thoughts and know exactly what he or she wants? Imagine having such jedi-like powers at your fingertips.
Well, you can! If you will learn how to hold the keys to your partner's heart and mind and make him yours forever.
Kenneth Goode is an outstanding figure in advertising and selling and I do recommend his books if you are interested to find out more about him and his teachings.
When I read about his eight insights about people, I can still remember that I'm beaming with excitement as this might hold the formula to understand what your partner will do.
Although Kenneth Goode is speaking to an audience that is supposedly to be interested in selling and advertising (to people), his wisdom and insights about people can help us to understand what people do the things they do, and of course "people" include yourself and your mate.
His eight insights about people are:
(1) Follow a habit until it hurts(2) Accept his beliefs ready-made and stick to them until the cows come home.(3) Follows his leaders, eyes shut, mouth open.(4) Work hard to establish superiority in the eyes of his equals.(5) Find his greatest interest in his own emotional kicks.(6) Yield to suggestion when properly flattered.(7) Love low prices and dislike economy.(8) Glorify the past and discount the future.
Think about how you can use Kenneth Goode's insights to influence your partner. Remember, you cannot change your partner into someone you like to see; you cannot force your another person to become that which you want him or her to become.
Here's an invaluable tip for you. If you are want to influence your partner; if you want to persuade him to do something or to see your point, don't say it out loud or even point it out to him. Try, instead, to make him think that that idea comes from his own.
Why? People always "accept his beliefs ready-made and stick to them until the cows come home".
Most people hate to be told what to do. Most people hate to know that their ideas are wrong. In fact, people hate it even more when you point it out to them.
So, if you want to attract a new mate, make it seem like he or she is the one who wants to be with you!
If you want to bring back a lost love, your first step is to make sure you don't make it seem like you want him or her back. Depending on your relationship or marriage circumstance, most people hate to be told that they should come back to your side. To them, it just spells more trouble.
Make yourself indispensable. If you have a hot temper, find ways to solve this problem. If you are too clingy, find the solutions to do away with your clingy-ness. If you know the mistakes you have done, correct them.
Your partner will find his or her way back to you all without your asking when they "know" that you are someone they would want to spend their life with afterall.
Kenneth Goode's insights have been very helpful to me so far. I now understand that there are certain things we cannot change about people, because that is the way people are! If you are always finding yourself eveloping in self-pity in a failing relationship, or if you are always finding yourself wanting your partner to behave in certain ways, I hope you understand these insights and apply them to your life and to your relationship because they can liberate you. Many times, it is not your fault afterall.
Wrtie these eight insights down and stick them on your desk where you can see them daily.
I will write more about how these insights can be applied to any types of relationship as and when I have more tips to share with you on this site.
Master these insights, and you can be well on your way to hold the keys to your partner's heart and mind; or rather, anyone's heart and mind.
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No B.S. Relevation From A Self-Confessed Commitment-Phobia Man

2009-03-01T19:56:00.000-08:00

"No B.S. Relevation From A Self-Confessed Commitment-Phobia Man" By Cucan Pemo
I'm going to share with you a short email interview which I had conducted with a man who confessed he was a commitment-phobia. He wanted to know how he can go about restoring and renewing a loving relationship with his "former" lover.
During my initial interactions with him, I suddenly had the "inspiration" to do a short email interview with him in order to understand him and his situation better.
Since he was a self-proclaimed commitment-phobia, whatever he was feeling and going through could help many of our women readers understand the inner world and emotions of their men whom they think are commitment phobias.
I followed my "inner voice" to conduct a short interview with him via email and to my surprise he agreed graciously!
It turned out that this honest, sincere, no b.s. relevation from a man could give you some invaluable insights (whether you are a man or woman) about your own relationship!
NOTE: This is not an "example" or case study taken out from a textbook! This is an interview conducted with a real man and his sincere and truthful answers to my questions would be able to help us and a lot of people out there who ernestly seek to understand and know their committment-phobia partners and who are looking to make things work in their relationship!
Certain portions of the interview are edited to protect the privacy of this reader. Otherwise, his answers to the questions are ALL unedited, raw, and uncensored!
There are powerful lessons and insights to be learnt from just this interview alone even if your partner (man or woman) is not a commitment phobia ... so read on...
1) What do you think are the 3 most difficult issues youhave to face while in your relationship with your woman?
- keeping love alive and not getting too "comfortable"- merging families (issues with kids)- finances
2) What can your woman do / say to get you to commit to a long term relationship? What can your woman do or say to get you to agree to engagement?
Convince me that she is still in love with me, that she doesn't have the same feelings for the guy she is dating / dated ...that it was just a casual thing, and that she really and truly does want to commit to only me if I am willing to do the same.
3) If you sincerely, seriously want to reconcile with the love of your life, what can she do or say to make it happen for both of you?
I guess just say that she doesn't want to give up on our relationship ... that she feels, as I do, that we were meant to be together and that there is nothing that can sever the bond of love that we have for each other.
4) Would you be able to commit should your woman agree to return to your side? If "yes", what would you do? If "no", why not?
Yes, I am ready and willing to put away my phobia and ask her for a long-term committment / marriage if that is still what she wants more than anything.
5) What are the 3 most important things you would like your lost lover to know, should you have a chance to pour your heart out to her.
This is a tough one! I guess I would tell her that I still believe within my heart that we always were meant to be together... that I feel totally responsible for our break-up, that I unconsciously pushed her away ... and that I still love her more than anything in the world and want us to fully commit to one another.
3 Powerful lessons to take away from this interview... Let's call this reader Mr X.
1) Our perceptions of reality are often colored and it is YOU who choose what you want to see in your relationship or marriage! If you have a commitment-phobia partner who is driving you "mad", it is useful to understand that during the time or moment when you feel you have an issue with your partner, realize that both of you could possibly be viewing reality on a different level, or what they often say being on a different frequency. That being said, notice what Mr X. says in his first sentence -"I truly do still love my woman and believe that we are meant to be together..." If you are Mr X., don't give up. Show her through your actions that she is wanted!"
2) Everyone of us are always trying to be the best we can be and taking the actions which we feel are best for all. But, we often forget that the very actions we feel are understandable might not be clear to others. Understand that your partner could well be cracking their brains hard to make the relationship work; but with the limited resources they have they might not be doing a good job in your eyes or that they may not be able to do it the way you want it! Whatever actions you want to take, BE the solution instead of seeking solutions from outside of yourself!
3) If you feel that YOU are a carbon copy of Mr X, realize that you could make the same mistake that he has made. Whether you are a man or a woman, what you THINK about your partner is a "premise" upon which your relationship circumstances are built. Whatever frustrations you are experiencing in your relationship or your life, they are likely "proving" and reinforcing something which YOU have thought about! So, if you treasure your loved one, don't take him or her for granted!
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26 Reasons Why Relationships Fail And How To Know If You Are Having Unhealthy, Sad Relationships

2009-03-01T19:53:00.000-08:00

26 Reasons Why Relationships Fail And How To Know If You Are Having Unhealthy, Sad Relationships By Cucan Pemo
Unhealthy, Sad Relationships have some general notable characteristics in common. Here are 26 basic guidelines for reference. They are not in order of importance.
Avoidance – Many people in unhealthy relationships simply avoid facing reality. There are many reasons for this. For instance, deep down inside, the people involved may be trying to make themselves appear superior. Or perhaps they don’t want to face the fact that their mates really aren’t who they say they are. For example, Person A might cover up and make excuses for his mate, Person B, who is always late coming home from work and almost always misses family functions. Person A could be trying to avoid reality and make up excuses to cover up an affair that Person B is involved in so that it doesn’t destroy their “perfect image” in everyone’s eyes. Or Person A could be avoiding the fact that Person B is a workaholic.
Burnout – Although many can carry out romance throughout their entire relationships, the actual honeymoon period does have to end, in reality. And those who can keep the “love” fires burning, not 24 / 7 but off and on regularly during their relationship, have better chances of healthier relationships than those who suffer burnout and don’t know where to turn or who turn to unhealthy solutions. In short, every relationship has its highs and lows. During the low times, like maybe when one person begins to feel disillusioned with marriage, or maybe trapped, tired, helpless, depressed or let down, if this person reaches out to unhealthy alternatives, like getting a fake substitution – maybe seeking another mate in secret, getting “high,” or some other negative behavior, once-healthy relationships can suffer. Instead, the couple needs to face issues together; add some new goals to the relationship, do some fun things together more, talk more, etc.
Compatibility Issues – Opposites attract; or do they? Sure it’s great to have some “spice” in your life. But relationships are about getting your needs met – at least on some level. And constant negativity can certainly hinder intimacy. So those who have a difficult time focusing on what attracted them to their mates in the first place can suffer unhealthy, sad relationships, constantly in conflict over issues with which they can’t agree. Check out the complete Love By Design System to find out if HE or SHE is the one for you today!
Devotional Void – A lack of commitment or ardent love can make for unhappy relationships. Being friends or roommates is one thing. Being committed, loving soul mates is another. Being “in love” 24/7 doesn’t necessarily have to be a requirement, but being in a “loving” committed relationship can make the difference.
Enthusiasm Dwindles – If you don’t add in some spice once in awhile, you can get the same old, same old. Couples caught up in routines can lose that spark of enthusiasm; i.e. zest of life in their relationships if they forget to be spontaneous once in awhile or forget to flavor their relationship with fun, adventure, romance.
Forgiveness Void – No one is perfect. Mistakes are a part of life. Those unwilling or unable to forgive, can pretty much count on having more unhealthy relationships over time. Relationships based or growing on anger, spite, disgust, resentment or other negative feelings associated with lack of forgiveness are like wilted flowers. They need tending to or they’ll die.
Guise - Simulated relationships or those under the guise of having a solid, happy relationship are not destined for success, on the whole. Or rather false is as false does, as Forest Gump might say. Pretending wears thin and doesn’t last long.
Harm – Harmful thoughts, words and actions can sure lead to unhealthy relationships. An occasional outbreak during a stressful moment might be considered normal like swearing; i.e. if someone hasn’t been raped, battered (or other sever trauma has occurred) by the other party. However, harmful, violent actions such as those and repeated verbal negativity is abusive and not healthy in relationships – or life.
Indulgence – Instant gratification or indulgence of unhealthy behaviors is a sign of trouble. Grabbing chocolate to satisfy a craving is one thing. Grabbing illicit drugs or another mate in secrecy is another. Yielding to unhealthy temptations and desires is a pathway to unhealthy relationships.
Just say yes – Not being able to draw boundaries or sustain limits is another possible path to sad relationships. For example, if one person in the relationship has a difficult time saying “Yes” and setting limits, his or her mate could always come in second, third or forth - - rarely first in the other person’s eyes and agenda. And while it’s fine to take a back seat once in awhile, people make time for priorities and in healthy relationships, both parties feel and share the value of being number one with one another.
Kick the Dog – Kicking the dog, not in a literal sense (although that would be negative, too!) is characteristic of unhealthy relationships. For example, if a person comes home angry and passes this anger on to the dog by kicking it, that is not a healthy release of anger. The unhealthier people are, the unhealthier they generally deal with stress. Help is available.
Lemons – Unhealthy relationships often have at least one party who can’t seem to make lemonade out of life’s lemons. Maybe he or she has the wrong recipe. Or maybe the person is a bad cook. But assistance is needed in this department!
Management Mania – Remember the “Odd Couple?” A super manager personality can ruin an otherwise healthy relationship. Likewise a super sloth can wreak one, too. A little give and take is called for.
“Neverland” – Ever heard something this in an argument, “You never….?” Well trips to Neverland are for Peter Pan. Skip the “always” and “nevers” in arguments and avoid unhealthy relationship issues. It’s rare that someone does or does not do something 100 percent of the time. Memories just seem to fail during opportunistic, stressful episodes sometimes (not always, though!)
Ominous – Bad or ominous feelings, an omen…a feeling deep inside that tells you something is wrong - this often accompanies unhealthy relationships.
Pressure – When one party pressures (or forces) the other to have sex, this is characteristic of an unhealthy relationship.
Questions – Part of communicating is asking and answering questions. If this process causes problems, i.e. even the simplest of questions arouses anger, suspicions, fighting, etc., this is a trait often found with unhealthy relationships. The party who has difficulty answering questions may be hiding something, dealing with control issues or dealing with substance abuse (or other).
Responds Inappropriately – Some characteristics of unhealthy relationships include playing head games, trying to humiliate, using threats, insults or jealousy. These inappropriate responses suggest unhealthy environment between the couple.
Silence – Silence isn’t always golden, as the saying goes. If one person shuns or ignores the other, outside of a solitary or very brief occurrence, this can reflect an unhealthy relationship.
Treatment – If healthcare treatments are being ignored or stopped without the help of a professional; for example, in the case of stopping anti-depressant medication after a severe (negative) episode (like suicide), this can signal an unhealthy relationship. People need to take care of themselves and not leave everything up to their mates in relationships.
Untidy / Unkempt – When one or both partners disregards physical appearance for the duration (long-term, not just for a weekend), this signals an unhealthy relationship. One or both could be abusing substances, for example, or suffering depression.
Verbal Abuse /Violate – When one or both partners use verbal abuse and / or violate or cause harm to the other’s person or personal property, things or friends, this can be a red flag for an unhealthy relationship. People should respect each other and each other’s property, things and friends. And verbal abuse is not appropriate.
Weapons – Threatening a partner with a weapon, even if it’s a household (or other) item used as a weapon is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Xerox – A trait of an unhappy relationship can be when a person is copying another, failing to be himself or herself. Some personality disorders are also characterized by this trait that reportedly shows up in a number of unhealthy relationships. And help is available.
Youthful Outlook / Emotions – An energetic, youthful attitude toward life is one thing. Youthful expectations; i.e. outlook, and emotions can be characteristic of unhealthy partners. Growing couples need maturity as they grow together and face adult issues. Childish displays of anger, hostility, selfishness, etc., don’t have much place in healthy, growing partnerships.
Zero – Growing relationships need a foundation. Zero to grow on is difficult to multiply. Got to start somewhere!
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How To Draw Anyone To Your Side - Spellbinding Attraction Secrets You Wouldn't Want To Miss

2009-03-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

"How To Draw Anyone To Your Side - Spellbinding Attraction Secrets You Wouldn't Want To Miss!"By Cucan Pemo
Before I begin, I would like to first point out that throughout this article I will be using "he" and "him", etc, rather than awkwardly saying "he or she" or using "he/she". So please understand I do not mean this as slight to women.
Many of my readers have often asked me, "How can I change my partner? What can I do to make him do things the way I want it? Or is it even possible?"
My question to you is, "Do you go into a relationship to change another person?"
Well, you have to take responsibility for the choice you have made if you do not like what you see today!
Truth is, you cannot change or force another person to behave in the ways you desire just by telling him or pointing out to him.
Most times than not, it doesn't work.
The secret here is, whatever it is you would like your partner to do - whether it is to do particular things, behave in particular ways, or think in the ways you want it - your partner has to see these ideas themselves as coming from themselves!
This is one of the secrets possessed by those cult leaders. How is it that they are able to influence their followers to do what they wish them to do so easily? Think about it. You can learn their secrets.
If you are trying to save your relationship, your partner has to see this idea of recouncilation and working and keeping this relationship as coming from themselves.
Very often, it doesn't work if YOU keep telling them to see your point, to work out something, to say something.
So, what can you do to possess that jedi-like magic to influence your partner? I call this positive motivation. Try not to tell your partner what to do. Stop making him see your point. It won't work. However, keep these points in mind:
(1) Become the person your partner wishes to become.
(2) Improve your-self FIRST. The changes you like to see on the outside will follow.
(3) Understand that most human beings naturally gravitated towards the person who possess a higher vibrational energy. Now, some of you might think this is too profound and metaphysical. It is not. Simply, just ask yourself who attracts you in your daily life and makes you think, "Gee, I wish I have his confidence / strength / power/ courage." Then, ask yourself what can YOU do to become such a person.
Just recently, I ran into one of my friends, the guy who is a bodybuilder. When he saw me, he pulled me to one side and confided in me.
He was running into big trouble. He told me. To cut a long story short, he ran into one of his ex-girlfriends the other day, one whom he had lost contact with for almost 2 years. She had a boyfriend now, but was currently having some disagreements and conflicts with him. Now, this friend of mine (let's call him Mr X.), was very concerned about her.
They met up for a chit-chat not long after they bumped into each other. Now, in case you are wondering, Mr X doesn't have any intention to get back into a relationship with her. However, being a good natured person, he still cares about her and treats her just like his other friends. It wasn't long before Mr X realized that the girl was contacting him more than 10 times a week! It was clear to him that she had a different intention, and was trying to get back into a relationship with him.
"Look, Cucan. I made it very clear to her that she was still my friend and she was not to expect anything from me. Besides, she had a boyfriend now. They were having some conflicts and misunderstanding. All I did was just spending some time to listen to her, to talk to her, and gave her a little help here and there, that was all, I did all these just as I would do for a friend. I didn't want to interfere with their affairs nor did I want to be seen as a third party. But, apparently she wanted something else and she was obviously trying to get close to me! I didn't ask for all these! Now, what am I supposed to do?"
I was enthused by his remarks. And this got me thinking. How was it that so many of my readers had a hard time making a connection with the love of their life or even failed times and times again trying to get the attention they are seeking from their partners; and yet, this friend of mine was getting all the (unwanted) attention without lifting a finger!
Some of you might have got it figured out. Naturally Mr X has a higher vibrational energy than the woman. This is one reason why his ex-girlfriend is attracted towards him.
There is another very important reason. And this is what I told him, "My friend, the more you tell her that she is not to expect anything from you, the more she'll find it difficult to drift away from you! The reason is this: people want what they cannot have! The more difficulty they have to getting something they want, they more they'll want it. Even during their sleep they'll think about it; it fills the whole of their consciousness so much so that they will conclude for themselves that this is definitely something they must have!"
Now, Mr X is such an understanding and caring man. Let me ask you. Who wouldn't like to be with a caring, understanding person? And he kept telling her: "Look, I can be there for you. But now you have a boyfriend. Don't expect anything from me. We are no longer in a relationship". And of course, Mr X wouldn't have any difficulty being alone with himself even if this girl was not around. It was no wonder the girl found herself irresistibly attracted towards him!
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How To Get HIM Or HER Interested

2009-03-01T19:06:00.001-08:00

"How To Get HIM Or HER Interested"By Cucan Pemo
Do you wish his eyes be glued on you?
Let me tell you a story. It's a true story.
Just recently, I got interested in a guy. I'm not supposed to share this with anyone, including you, lest my partner gets to know about it. :)
However, being an avid student of human nature and inter-personal relationships, I could not help wondering, what is it (about him, or me?) that has made me attracted to him?
But, don't be mistaken. Until today, we are just very good friends. I still have my partner with me, so I wouldn't want to do anything that will break my relationship with him.
We have a common interest though. This is why we click together and always enjoy each other's company, with no expectation from each other.
He had gone through several failed relationships, and we had a talk about this one day over coffee at a cafe. He was hurt that the relationships he had with his ex-girlfriends didn't work out the way he wanted them to. However, that didn't destroy him; instead, in his own words, such experiences make him even stronger.
I realized that I admired his courage and strength to be able to pick himself up even after a heart-breaking experience. In fact, I was inspired by him.
"We had conflicts and disagreements. It didn't work out, everyone of them (his girlfriends) initiated the break-up. I didn't put in the effort to pursue and thus eventually we broke up. I was devastated then. But I'm not going to allow myself to be enveloped in self-pity and sorrow. I put all my attention, energy and focus on my passion, that is, bodybuilding. I realized that, whatever effort, time, money, and energy I had put into bodybuilding, it has all paid off handsomely. I could see the results I want to see. With relationship, it is so different. You cannot control the outcome; you cannot control the other person."
He is so right. You cannot control another person or how he will think and behave. You only have control of your-self, this indirectly implies the power you have in your hands. You CHOOSE whether your circumstance controls you or destroy you; else choose a more positive way of reacting and responding to your circumstances.
I didn't tell him this secret which I have been holding in my heart, that I enjoyed his accompany and going out with him, even training together with him at the gym whenever I can find the time to do it.
I asked myself what had made him seem attractive. The answers I got shocked me further.
(1) He inspired me with his insights about life and relationships. In short, he had what I had been seeking and searching - the answers to some of the tough questions about life and relationship.
(2) I found myself wanting to go out with him often. He was confident about his passion and what he was doing. He was independent, had a character, and was not affected by what others think about whether whatever he is doing is right or wrong. In short, he was of a higher vibrational energy than I.
I realize, and I have been sharing this secret with many of my readers - By becoming interested in MYSELF, my partner becomes more interested in me! If you think it is a paradox. IT is! Many relationship challenges and difficulties often start when one of the couples shift his or her center onto another person, and many people do this unknowingly! Understand that your center is HERE, right now, within you; it is your safe haven and most truthworthy antenna. You do NOT have to search for it in another person!
This is one secret which has worked wonders for those who are willing to take the time to chew on it.
Inspire your partner today!
However, don't stop here. Dale Carnegie has taught that "If you want people to become interested in you, you have to become genuinely interested in others!"
Become genuinely interested in YOUR-SELF!
Become genuinely interested in others!
Combine this two, and you might find yourself being swamped with so much attention, you'll have to crack your head to find your own private time.
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Just What Can A Jedi Master Teach You?

2009-03-01T19:04:00.000-08:00

"Just What Can A Jedi Master Teach You?"
By Cucan Pemo
I just viewed George Lucas's final installment of his Stars Wars Trilogy - "Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith" and I loved his film. The "Force" as depicted in his film has often left me in awe; and I often likened the Jedi Masters in the Trilogy to the "Master" in "Message Of A Master".
You can define the "Force" in many different ways, depending on your culture, faith and beliefs. But it doesn't matter which definition you adhere to. The "Force" is being possessed by all of us, if we would learn how to harness it and use it for the benefit of ourselves and others.
In this Stars Wars story, Anakin Skywalker succumbed to the dark side fearing the loss of his wife Amidala after having a dream of her death. He proceeded to learn the dark arts in the hope of having the power to avert her death.
However, near the end of the story, we learned that Amidala did not just die from giving birth; she died because she gave up the will to live after learning that Anakin had changed into somone she did not even recognise.
Can you see how powerful our own thoughts are? Our thoughts often create our own reality - in life and in relationship.
Can you also see how powerful a being you are? You have the power to create your own life and relationship circumstances.
Yoda, the Jedi grandmaster has very good advice which is worth noting down. "Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the force. Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is... Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose... The fear of loss is a path to the dark side."
Indeed, fear, insecurity, jealousy, clinginess, attachment to your partner leads to even more problems in your relationship. That which you do not wish to see happening in your relationship WILL happen! - if you give in to your fear and insecurity. "The fear of loss is a path to the dark side"; and in the end you will lose everything.
So, if you think your partner is unfaithful, he (she) WILL be unfaithful. If you think that one day he (she) will leave you, then it WILL be so. If you believe he (she) will do things which you deem as undesirable, the he (she) WILL do it. It is all about self-fulliing prophecy. You will attract the life circumstance which will MATCH your beliefs.
A failing relationship or marriage often begins when we lose touch with our unique, individual true self and we fall into the illusion that we can find what we want and need from our partner. Try to catch yourself falling into this trap whenever you can! If you can, find all means and ways whereby you can re-discover "The Force" within your-self. Again, what is "The Force" really? Even George Lucas refuses to give it a fixed definition. You can learn to reconnect with "The Force" through various means and methods. Find one which suits you.
If you haven't done so, watch Stars Wars Trilogy - "Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith". It is not just about science fiction, folks. This film can teach you a lot about life and relationships in ways which you would never have imagined!
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Just What Can A Professional Salesman Teach You In Your Relationship

2009-03-01T19:01:00.000-08:00

"Just What Can A Professional Salesman Teach You In Your Relationship"By Cucan Pemo
You may not know this, but do you know that whatever it isthat you hold a strong belief on - whether you realize it ornot, whether consciously or subconscoiusly - how yourenvironment will be, how people will react and respond toyou, will exactly be THAT which will support what YOUbelieve to be true?
As within, so without.
If you are always having conflicts, disagreements, andfights with the love of your life, and you keep wondering whyyou have to face such a difficult sitaution in your love life orrelationship, there is a reason for all these happening!
Do you know how your reality in life and in your relationshiplife comes about? They do not come about by chance! You see, you are the one who conducts the orchestra. You andyour partner are playing a piece of music together; and bothof you could have been playing the same piece of music together for so long that you never even realize it. The situationor circumstance in your relationship life comes about becauseyou have intend "your piece of music" to be that way. If youdo not change the way you play the music, the same circumstanceor situation in your relationship or marriage life will alwaysappear the same to you, since it matches your beliefs and vibration.The evidence and proofs (that YOU want to see) will start tospring up from everywhere around you, so that you'll feel thatit feels right things are the way they are right now.
De-hypnotize yourself now!
Here is the story of a salesman from "Zero Resistance Selling"and his story will open up your eyes and your mind to seeking acreative solution for yourself if you like to make a re-connectionwith your partner or spouse and make love work for you again.
Once a young salesman cornered a professional salesman after a seminar, to complain passionately about the executive he had to deal with at one of his key accounts.
"Everytime I go to him with a new product, a new idea, a better way of doing things," he said, "he instantly shoots it down or brushes me off. How am I ever goig to expand this account's value if I can't even get my ideas listened to? There's just no point even telling this guy about anything new."
I asked,"How do you usually approach this fellow with your ideas?" I listened as the salesman described when and how he went to this customer with new products or ideas. He described what he said and what the clientsaid.
"Does it always happen like that?" I inquired.
"Absolutely," the salesman said. "It's as if there wasa script and we each read out parts."
"It might as well be," I told him. "As long as you make the same first move, he is going to make the samesecond move. You and he are having the same chess matchover and over again. Because you are frustrated with this client, you keep approaching him exactly the sameway, just waiting for his unsatisfactory response. And you get it.
Let me tell you what a person with the habit ofoptimistic response might do.
First, he would STOP doing the same thing over and over.
Second, he would know two things in his heart: one, thatthis person can be reached, interested, opened up, eveninspired - because EVERY human being can be!
Third, he would keep trying different approaches untilone proved effective."
If whatever methods or approaches you are making is notworking for you to make that connection again, STOP usingthe same unproductive approaches over and over again.
Second, realise that EVERY human beings can be inspired andmotivated. Make the efforts to find out what motivates yourpartner or your spouse, NOW. Remember that what motivateshim/her years ago might not be the same as of TODAY. But onetruth about human nature stays the same throughoutcenturies. Everyone of us needs a little uplifting every nowand then.
Third, if that salesman comes up to me and all he wants totalk about is himself and how good his products are, I WILLstop listening. You see, I'm sick of listening to sales pitch.
Think about this, if all you want to do is to come up to meand talk about why YOU are needed by me and why YOU should be staying by my side, even "brainstorming" with me why I am wrong and why you are right, please go away.
Truth is, I'm sick of listening to the same old things over and over again. Do you have anything better andmore refreshing to do and say THAT WILL UPLIFT MY SPIRIT?
Apply these insights into your life and your relationship, and I can assure you, you can be on your way making relationshipand love work for you again.
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5 SureFire Ways To Make Your Partner Stay

2009-03-01T10:14:00.001-08:00

"5 SureFire Ways To Make Your Partner Stay!"By Cucan Pemo
Before you atempt to bring back a lost mate, you have to understand why people leave and what makes people stay.
1. Relationship is like a "mutal filling of needs"
When you first fall in love, ask yourself why you fallin love. According to Dr Rob, falling in love and getting into a relationship is like a "mutual filling of needs".
Whether you realize it or not, you go into a relationship and choose to be with a person because you feel that your partner is fulfilling some of your emotional needs.
You feel good to be around with him/her.
You have new things to share with each other.
You feel you can learn something from your partner, whether it's to advance spiritually or to grow as a person.
You feel empowered whenever you can fulfill your partner's needs and wants or being able to contribute to his/her growth as a human or well-being (the crave for power and recognition)
Now, step back and think from your partner's point of view. He or she is experiencing one or more of the above, just like YOU, as a human.
A partner leaves when he or she loses any one or more of the above with you.
A partner also leaves for someone else because he or she can get one or more of the above from the other person.
If you want your partner to stay, or if you want to keep your partner, think about what you can do or change to save your relationship.
Don't come and tell me you cannot change because of habits or whatsoever.
If you cannot change and learn to make use of your creative mechanism within, your external world cannot change for you either.
2. If people don't feel important, they are not motivated to stay.
Let your partner know often enough that they are valued and loved, but no strings attached.
If people don't feel important, they are not motivated to stay.
No one wants to be a commodity, easily replaced by someone off the street. If they are regarded as expendable, they will leave for someone where they feel appreciated.
Some of my readers are so fearful of making the connection with their partner again that they hold back again and again.
The trick here is you have to get out there and make the connection. Call him or her up and say something to show that you care. Date him or her. It doesn't matter if you are being rejected or getting a negative response. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or that you are lousy. The most important thing is you have tried. And if you are getting negative responses, you go back to step one and check on yourself again.
If you fail faster, you'll going to discover a couple of winning strategies!
And this is the type of attitude and mindset all succesful people have in common.
3. Understand what your partner wants
Your parnter is often a reflection of WHO YOU ARE and where you are at so I urge you to try and obeserve and study yourself and your partner.
Being human beings we are always looking for opportunities for advancement. People, including you or your partner, want to learn, to sharpen our skills, or learn new ones.
When we go into a relationship or marriage there is always someting that we want to learn out of it. If we are able to grow and develop as a human being in this relationship we want to keep it and stay in it for as long as we can.
There is no reason why anyone would want to walk out of a relationship if this want is being fulfilled.
This is why it is important you maintain healthy social life and active lifestyle so that you are constantly learning new things and having new experiences to share with your loved ones!
This is why experts encourage you to never stop dating and having fun in your relationship life!
And this is also why YOU have to allow the opportunity for your partner to find growth opportunities with you. Give him or her the freedom to learn, grow, and advance spiritually as a human being.
Help him/her grow.
4. People really do want to know that they do a good job in their relationship.
This applies to both YOU yourself and your partner!
Note: this is a want!
Understanding this, you would realize that when people are furstrated by too many rules, a not-so-understanding-and-appreciative partner, and red tape in a relationship, they'll want to look for elsewhere to breathe. Or, they'll gravitate towards someone else who can make them feel appreciated.
And you wouldn't want this to happen!
To help your partner stay in the relationship or marriage, give them the care and understanding they deserve. Also, try to understand and realize what it is that your partner seek from the relationship.
Don't ever try to ask your mate what is it they want. At times, they'll even find it hard to answer you. They might respond with things like "I don't know what I want", "I don't know who I am", etc. etc
Make a study of all the people around you. Observe them. Ask yourself why are you behaving the way you are. Why is your mate behaving and thinking the way he/she is.
I guaranteed you that you'll learn more about yourself and your mate than you'll learn in school and from textbooks . In schools, they don't even teach these stuff!
5. People want to do something meaningful in their work and their life!
Many people mistakenly thought that once they go into a relationship with they partners they can dictate how their partners live their life.
This is not true love.
All of us, including you and your partner, want to do something meaningful in their work today and life today. We are constantly looking for ways to make a difference, either for ourselves, for other people or for our loved ones!
And yes, this is a need. It is that which makes us feel alive as a human.
For many women, they define their relationships as their most meaning work in life. But women, remember that this is not true for most men. Men might define something else as their meaningful work in life and you have to work around looking after your needs and his needs as well. The same goes for men.
Don't dictate how your mate is going to live his/her life. At times, they need to go through certain aspects of life and circumstances to learn powerful lessons from them. They might meet with certain obstacles and difficulties that may directly or indirectly affect his/her relationship with you.
What you can do is to offer your support, care and understanding.
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5 Easy Ways To Get Out Of Fights And Disagreements

2009-03-01T10:12:00.000-08:00

"5 Easy Ways To Get Out Of Fights And Disagreements" By Cucan Pemo
Someone has ever asked me, "Cucan, is it possible that we can go back to the way we are; that things will be the same as it is initially when we first meet, or when we first fall in love?"
My answer is, you can't fall in love forever! One day you will fall out of it. In fact, change if the only constant in this world. Things can't be staying the same all the time.
Because of change, life is forever beatiful and spontaneous!
But because of your faith, you can stay together till the end of time.
To keep your partner in the relationship with you, what you can do is to learn how to get out of fights and disagreements as quickly as possible.
1. Be aware of the times when you assert yourself too strongly.
Try to catch youself the urge to question his whereabouts, her hairstyle, him not spending time with the babies, her not behaving in the way you want in front of your friends, etc.
Understand that you can fall into the trap of wanting to see your partner as how you want it to be, not how he or she wants his or her life to be.
2. Understand that when we feel hurt, or feel offended, the feelings is our response.
One morning you could go to work feeling miserable, or with your self-confidence shaken because of some adverse experience.
Your partner comes by and give you a hug, and you feel good about yourself.
But not today. Today you are suffering tensions of self-doubt, anxiety and insecurity. We take his action in the wrong way, become offended. This is when quarrels occurs, breakups happen.
So, remember this, we are injured and hurt emotionally, not so much by other people or what they say or don't say, but by our own attitude and our own response.
3. Remind yourself that you have the power to be able to pause.
Be willing to see the truth, select an appropriate response, thereby CHOOSING the direction your relationship with your loved one would go.
Remember this: no one react to "things as they are," but to his own mental images or OPINIONS of what is happening.
Most of the time your partner's reaction or actions is not taken to frustrate or disappoint you, but because he (she) "understands" and inteprets the situation differently from us.
Always ask yourself this question "Why he (she) might "act the way he (she) does?"
4. Don't add your own opinions to facts.
Fact: Your wife asks for more space and freedom from you. Opinion: She does not care about our relationship anymore.
Fact: Your boyfriend orders the food he likes. Opinion: He never thinks of what I would like to eat today.
Fact: Your husband throws his clothes onto the bed after work. Opinion: He does this to purposely irritate me.
You kick up a fuss. Most likely other unrelated stuff will be brought in and a storm will begin.
Ask yourself, are you reacting to your own opinions?
5. Train youself to always possess a feeling of constructive influencing of your partner through your own personality instead.
Do you know something?
Many people do feel themselves as incapable and lousy that they can't seem to be able resolve a fight or quarrel with their partner.
So what do they do? They continue to fight, and they continue to quarrel.
Just remind yourself that 2 people can look at the same thing differently. If you catch yourself arguing for something not important at all, decide to walk away from it at once! Decide that it is just not worth it to spoil a wonderful relationship over a minor issue.
Remember, being in a relationship is not "never fight with my boyfriend", nor is it "never argue with my wife".
It's how quickly you can snap out of a disturbing situation.
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What Triggers Fight & How To Settle Them - Keeping Your Relationship With Your Spouse 0r Lover Harmonious

2009-03-01T10:10:00.001-08:00

"What Triggers Fight & How To Settle Them - Keeping Your Relationship With Your Spouse 0r Lover Harmonious!"
by Cucan Pemo
Falling into a relationship is easy, but maintaining arelationship requires delicate care and skills. The processcan be likened to tending to your garden and keeping agarden of beautiful roses which will turn heads around.
The task of creating and building that magical relationshipdoes not come easy but is not difficult if you would justlearn the right ways to build a harmonious relationship thatlasts.
Find out what could trigger fight in a relationship and howto settle them to avoid all those pain and heartache andunnecessary misunderstandings which might eventually ruin arelationship.
(1) You want to win all time, giving in is losing your standNobody likes to lose. Losing hurts our ego, and it will doall it can to defend itself, to fight for itself, and toargue its way through until it makes sure that it gets itsway. However, this hurts your partner's ego too. It, too,wants to defend itself, fight for itself, and to argue itsway through. It simply will not let go. So if you want tostop the fighting, you have to be the one to initiate that!Better still, keep quiet. Your partner will soon stopfighting once he/she is not able to find anyone to reason orfight with when you just keep quiet.
(2) One of you is insistent in doing things your own way.Each of us always has reasons for doing certain things. Ifyou do not like what you see in your partner's attitude orbehavior, change that, within you! Change your perceptionsabout what you are seeing and how you think about it! Youmight not be able to change your partner, but you can changehow you feel inside of you. You can offer your suggestions,your opinions, but try not to go against their person. Letthem know that it is their behavior or attitude that you areagainst, but not against their persons. Always remember, ifyou live your life always wanting to change other people,you never learn to see the goodness or beauty of people andthings around you.
(3) You or your spouse is under pressure or stressWe tend to vent our anger or frustrations that we have oversomebody or something on our spouse or lover, whether we doit consciously or unconsciously. If your spouse is the oneunder stress or pressure, try to see from their point ofview. Instead of starting a fight for no real reasons, tryto help them cope with the frustration or problems they arefacing. It is useful to remind yourself that you can lend alistening ear. If you are the one having any stress orencountering difficulties, it is a good idea to let yourspouse know so he or she could try to see from your point ofview too and to share your burden. In short, do not keepeverything to yourself.
(4) One of you is not sensitive to your partner's feelingsIf your spouse or lover is insensitive to your feelings, youwould think that they do not care or that they areignorant. So you question them and start picking a fight. Beaware! You are solely responsible for your own feelings.Your spouse or your lover does not owe you your feelings.Let them know how you feel should they do something whichyou deem undesirable and unpleasant. Open up and talk toyour partner. Focus on effective communication instead.
Always remember that patience and tolerance is not a sign ofweakness, but a sign of strength. To start a fight and tosustain a fight you need another person to fight with. Thusif you really, really, really want to stop a fight. Be theperson who wants to stop it and just let go of all yourfrustration and anger. Your spouse or lover cannot continuefighting if there is no other person for them to fightagainst. It takes two hands to make a clapping sound! Remindyourself, if you do not want the clapping sound, you canjust remove one of your hands. Who makes the decision? You!
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3 Easy Ways to Attract Love Like A Magnet

2009-03-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

"3 Easy Ways to Attract Love Like A Magnet"by Cucan Pemo
If you are still single and yearning for that someone special to come into your life, to share your life, and to share all the laughter and joy of being together, there is something you could do to attract your true love like amagnet!
(1)You must believe you are able to attract true love.
This is important! In order to attract your true love, not just any type of lovers, to come into your life, you have to believe you are able to attract the right person into your life. True love comes to you not because of chance. Instead, it comes to you because of who you are. It comes 'through' you, it does not come to you. You attract the people in your life because of who you are. If you are someone who is always cheery, generous, kind, and hardworking, then it is very likely you will attract people who have one or more of your positive attributes. Whoever you attract into your lives is a reflection of who you are at that moment. Thus if you are someone who is always doubtful of your own ability and capability to meet the right person, then it is very likely you will attract the wrong person into your life!
(2)Love others who come into your life at this moment.
Being loving to others is perfect love, not just wanting love. Open up your heart and give your love to others as well while you are waiting for your someone special to enter your life. When you open up and give more love, more love will return and be given you too. This is the law of give and receive. When you go outside and socialize, do not go with the intention of only wanting to find love, or to find your Mr/Mrs Right. Instead, take an interest in all those that you encounter, be aware of their welfare and needs as well. If you start to take an interest in other people's welfare and needs instead of only your own, more people will be attracted to you. So, detach yourself from the feeling that you want to find that someone special. The right person will definitely come to you one day and be attracted to you because of who you are. He or she might must be around in a corner thinking : "Hey, I want to get to know this person who has so much magnetism and optimism. How can I approach him/her?"
(3)Expect less from other people and give more instead.
As you give more and more love to others, be careful not to become too much focused on your own wants and needs. In wanting or expecting to experience the love we want, we suffer. We crave, and we cling to what we do not have and we even refuse to let go what we have clung to. Your giving should not come with any conditions. Instead, the love you give should want less and less. As your love wants less and less, ironically you will find more love coming your way, even without you asking for it.
Give true love, so that it opens up and embrace the world. Very soon, you will find that someone special entering your life. It is not by chance that this person has entered your life, but you have cultivated the 'seeds' to bring him/her to you, not just any type of person, but the right and true one for you. And after he/she has entered your life, continue to cultivate even more 'seeds' of love for everyone around you, and you will find that you can easily create the 'magical' relationship that you desire effortlessly.
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3 Tips You Wish You Know Earlier Before You Go Into Any Type of Relationship

2009-03-01T10:06:00.000-08:00

"3 Tips You Wish You Know Earlier Before You Go Into Any Type of Relationship"by Cucan Pemo
If you are in a relationship right now, or are thinking ofgoing into one, there are 3 very important tips you shouldknow and questions you should ask yourself before you everget yourself into a relationship. This could save you from alot of heartache and pain when you are involved in a loverelationship.
(1) Your lover does not owe you your happiness, peace orjoy.Happiness is a state of mind we choose to have. All of yourhappiness, and all of your suffering, are created by you andthey do not come from outside of you, or from others. Beforeyou go into any type of relationship, ask yourself thesequestions: "Do I really, really, really know how to walkaway from disappointment and fear? Will I be able to findthe person that I am now even after I go into thisrelationship and begin a new way of life?" In short, youshould not be dependent on your partner on your emotionalneeds. You yourself are responsible for your own feelingsand creating positive experiences for both your partner andyou whenever you are together.
(2) Love your partner for who they are.No one in this world is perfect. One day you will find yourpartner doing certain things or saying certain things thatwill hurt you, disappoint you or anger you. Before you gointo any type of relationship, you have to ask yourself:"Will I be able to love my partner for who they are. If I amunhappy or angry with something they have said or done, willI be able to recognize my unhappiness or anger as againsttheir speech, actions and behavior, and not against theirpersons?"
(3) Will I be able to love myself as much as I love mypartner?If you cannot love yourself, how are you going to give loveto another? This is a mistake most people make when they gointo a relationship. They become over-obsessive with whatthey can give to their partners and what they can do fortheir partners. To ensure a fulfilling relationship, youhave to learn to take care of your own needs as well. A truepartner or lover is one who will make sure that you do notbecome too dependent on them. You are responsible for yourown feelings and your own emotional needs too. You are abeautiful being. So, take care of yourself, love yourself,treat yourself to all the good things in life too, and dothe same to your partner. Very soon you will find true lovealways coming your way without any effort on your part!
As always, if you are encountering problems in yourrelationship, try to dissolve all of your problems in love.And you'll be sure you are on your way to a peaceful andfulfilling relationship!
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How to Gain an Unfair Advantage Over a Rival & Win Over the One you Love

2009-03-01T10:03:00.000-08:00

"How to Gain an Unfair Advantage Over a Rival & Win Over the One you Love!"
by Cucan Pemo
Are you being kept up late at night worried sick that you would never be able to find or keep your true love because of a rival? Suspecting your date, lover or your spouse having an extramarital relationship? Here's what you could do so you could win back the one you love and keep them!
(1) Show your partner you respect their choices more than anyone else.
Do not do anything or say anything which forces your partner to do things or see things your way! If they have to make their choice whether they want you or the other person, give them no excuses to leave you for somebody else, show them your respect!
No one likes to live under the control of another person. Your partner will more likely choose you if you can show him or her that you are willing to give them the freedom to make their own choices and respect his / her wishes.
(2) Do not try to Compete
Do not try to compete with your rival, if you have one around. When you are competing, you are struggling, and when you are struggling, you create a lot of negative energy around you, leading to unpleasant experiences with the people who just happen to be with you. Instead, try to create opportunities that lead to positive experiences, especially with your partner around.
Let your partner feel that they can feel more at ease when he or she is together with you. Let your partner feel more comfortable being with you than with somebody else.
(3) Avoid discussing issues relating to your rivals.
Whenever you are with your spouse or lover do not keep asking or questioning them on issues relating related to your rival (Examples: "Where did you go yesterday?" "What did you give her…", "Why does he / she do this…", you get what I mean).
Asking such questions would only put his defense system on autopilot and his / her replies to you might not be truthful too. Most often than not, such discussions lead to unpleasant experiences with your partner, both of you might even fight or quarrel over an insignificant issue and further ruin your relationship.
So give your partner freedom of choice. Let them do whatever they want and like, and you will find that they will appreciate your understanding. If your partner finds that he/she can breathe easier when being with you than with the other person, they will come back to you, with no effort on your part!
(4) Stop clinging to your spouse or lover like sticky glue
Recall the type of person you once were when you first started seeing and dating your lover or your spouse. That 'person' you once were is the person whom your lover or spouse once loved deeply.
Be that 'person'. When you were that 'person', you were someone who did not cling to your partner like a parasite. You were independent, carefree, and full of zest for life! This is the real 'you' whom your partner love and like to be with.
So drop all those attachment. Practice detachment instead. If your relationship is failing, other people will tell you 'Your partner has changed.', or 'People change. This is life.' Instead, pause for a moment and ask yourself "Has my partner really change? Or is it I who have changed?" Have you changed to someone who has become too demanding in your relationship? Your partner love you for who you are. So 'be' that independent person you once were!
Keep the above tips in mind, and you can be sure that you will the heart of the one you love without any effort on your part!
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The Road To Happiness In Relationship and Life - 8 Easy Steps

2009-03-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

The Road To Happiness In Relationship and Life - 8 Easy Steps
By Cucan Pemo
Finding happiness is not always easy. It is something that we have to do for ourselves in order to have the life that we want and need. The road to happiness in a relationship is also something that we have to peruse so that we living the life that we want with the person that we can share it all with. Taking the time to figure out what we need and want is the most difficult part of it all. There are some steps that we can take to get us where we need to be.
Being happy in your relationship is going to depend on you and your mate. You both have to work hard to keep it on the right path so that you can dream and have the life that you have always wanted together forever. You need to work hard and do what you can to make this happen. Dream big and make sure that you keep your expectations to a reality. Keep your goals set and work hard to make a great relationship.
1. First of all, you need to communicate with your partner.
You want to make sure that you are speaking all the time and keeping in touch with what each other wants and needs. Think about how you want to be treated and this is what you should represent when you are talking to your spouse. You need to be sure that you are keeping communication high so that you can feel good about one another and know what is going on in your separate worlds. Do not be afraid to talk about things that you want from the relationship as well. You want to be sure that you are expressing what you want and need out of him. This will help you feel better and you should encourage him to let you know what he wants and needs as well.
2. Dreaming together is part of sharing a happy relationship.
Make sure that you are planning ahead and keeping all of your dreams in focus. Think about what you want to do tomorrow as well in the future. Do you want to have children, are you going to get married, where do you want to live are all dreams that you should be planning together so that you can both have what you expect and want in the relationship. If you do not share the same types of future dreams, you may not ever find true happiness together.
3. Play your part in the relationship. You need to contribute good things and even some bad to the relationship.
You have to own what you do and keep what you want to have as well as change the things that are not making you happy. This will go both ways and you have to be sure that you are ready to stick to your guns and keep what you are looking for in the relationship.
4. Another good step in creating a happy relationship is to realize that you cannot change someone else.
You are the only person that you can change. If you think that you are going to make him change this is probably not a good expectation to have. You will not like it when someone tries to get you to change so it is important to not try and change anyone else. You need to accept him for who he is and if you are not happy with the way that you are acting, you need to change. You have to do your best to create the person that you want to be so that you can find happiness in your relationship.
5. Paying attention to each other’s complaints is another way to build a good relationship with each other.
You need to listen to him and find out what is not making him happy. This will be the same for him listening to your complaints. This is the only way that you can make sure that you are going to be doing all the right things to create a good and healthy relationship with each other.
6.Trust is one definite for any relationship.
You need to build a good and solid relationship on trust. This is something that is going to get you far. If you cannot be honest with him then you are not going to stand a chance. You have to be ready to take on the part of being honest and sharing everything. Do not keep things from him and do not accept this behavior on his part either. Being honest is a great idea and way to stay happy and take that step closer to a better relationship.
7. Having fun is always a good thing in a relationship.
Do things that you are both going to enjoy and make sure that you are doing things that make you happy and keep you interested in each other and the things that you like. Make sure that you are making memories so that you have them for a lifetime to come. You can have a happy and healthy relationship with the partner that you think is right for you.
8. Never give up.
This is a step that you have to enforce. You need to keep on being persistent and make sure that it all works out for you in the end. You deserve to be happy and this is something that is going to be good for you in the end. You want to make sure that you are doing all that you can to keep a healthy and happy relationship to last a lifetime.
With these happy relationship steps you can have a great time and the life that you are looking for to create the love of your life. You need to make sure that you are doing all that you can to encourage a happy and very successful life with the partner that you have always dreamed about.
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7 Reasons Why He Always Say He Loves You When He's Still Seeing Someone!

2009-03-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

7 Reasons Why He Always Say He Loves You When He's Still Seeing Someone!
By Cucan Pemo
You know that men are going to do things that we just do not like. It is going to happen regardless of what we do or think. There are men that just have to lie to us and tell us what we want to hear even if we know that they are completely lying to us. There are things that women have to know and learn about why men say that love us even when they are still seeing someone else.
When a man cheats on us, it can be devastating. It can be a very big heartache to learn that the man that we love is still seeing someone else. He is cheating on us! This is an unacceptable issue that women have to control no matter what they feel or think. There are reasons behind why men say they love us when they are double timing and it is important to learn why.
1. Men want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to have you with them forever because they do love you and you have been there with them through a lot of things. However he also want to see if the grass is greener on the other side. This is why most men still say that they love you no matter what. It is up to us as women to put an end to it and give them an ultimatum to choose the one that they love the most.
2. Men will tell you that they love you because they want you to believe them. They want you to think that they are not cheating and that everything is fine. Giving you the affection that you want may end up keeping them out of the doghouse so that they can continue to see the other person that they have been.
3. A man will tell you that he loves you because he does not want to lose you. They may be seeing someone else on the side, but they would not want you to do the same. By telling you that they love you this will keep you believing that everything is ok and that you will not go out and try and find someone else. They want to keep you even though they are not being faithful and they surely do not want you to go and find anyone else.
4. Sometimes a man may tell a woman what she wants to hear. Keeping her in the dark may be the way that he wants it as well as the woman. If you are a woman that does not want to believe that your man is cheating and that he still loves you, it is going to be evident that you believe everything that he is saying to you.
5. A man may tell you that he loves you even though he is still seeing a former girlfriend because he is not sure if he wants to leave her or not. He may not feel ready to leave his existing girlfriend or wife but he may want to be with you at the same time. This is a confusing time for him and the only way that he can do is to continue to tell you that he love you so that he can buy some time to figure it all out.
6. Having a man tell you that he loves you and still seeing someone else is going to be hard on you. He may want to do this to wear you down. Some men have a control issue and this may be his way to keep you under his wing. He may tell you that he loves you or tell you that he is the only one that will ever really love you. When a man does this, he is trying to control you and keep you from feeling good about yourself.
7. A man may also tell you that he loves you while seeing someone else because he is afraid of getting caught. He may think that you do not know anything at all and that everything is fine. You need to either decide to accept this or tell him that you are not going to take it anymore.
No matter what the reason is behind him telling you that he loves you and cheating on you, you have to figure it out. You need to do whatever you can to get clear, take charge of your relationship circumstances and make the situation better. You need to decide what is better for you and what will make you happy in life. Your happiness is the most important thing that you need to consider. If you are not clear, you will only prolong your suffering and deny yourself the joy and happiness you deserve.

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What To Do If I Want To Connect With Him But I Don't Want To Look Needy

2009-03-01T09:55:00.000-08:00

What To Do If I Want To Connect With Him But I Don't Want To Look Needy
By Cucan Pemo
We all want to be closer to our man. This is something that we may feel the need to do because it will make us feel better about our relationship. This is going to be a great achievement for most couples. However, it is not always easy to get close to your man because you may not want to look too needy to them. You have to know how to do it right so that you are not making a big mistake in your relationship.

You need to allow your man to have their space but you want to also get as close to them as you can. When you are trying to learn about their life and find out as much as you can, you will want to be in their life but you also want to let them have their space so that they can do the things that they like to do too.

Do not over stay your welcome. If a man says that they need to do something and they need to do it alone, you need to let them. This is the only way that you can be sure that they are doing what they need to and getting the space that they need. If you are asked to leave or you are not invited to something in their life, you should make sure that you are letting them do it. This will make them feel as if they have their space and that you are not being too needy.

You will want to make your man feel loved. You want them to feel like they are very important to you but you do not want to be a stalker or anything like that. If you are too clingy, you may in fact scare them away. You may feel as if you are not giving them as much of your attention as you should. You need to make sure that you are doing all that you can to make your man feel good but you should also let them do the same for you. If you are not receiving love back, you may not be in the relationship that you should.

Do not call your man all the time. You need to back off at times. It is ok to call your man daily and to check up on what is new in their life. You will want to make sure that you are keeping in touch with him but in a classy way. Calling all the time and making a nuisance of you is only going to make yourself look too needy. This can actually be embarrassing for you. Learn how to cut back and give the recommended space that you both need when you need it. This is the only way to keep your self-respect and not make him feel like you are not giving him room to breath.

He does not have to go with you wherever you go. It is ok to spend time together, but you need to know when to do things on your own. Spending time together and doing things that you love is important however, you do not have to drag him along when he does not want to come. Ask him once but do not force him to do something that he is not interested in. of course you need him to spend time doing things that you like with you but you do not need to make it happen all the time. There are ways to connect with your man and not drive him crazy by annoying him with the little things that he does not want to do.
Do not tell him what to do. When you are constantly telling him what to do and how to do it, you may in fact be insulting him and making him feel almost like a child. This is going to be a degrading experience for him and it is not something that you want to happen. Give him the respect that you would want for yourself. This is the best way to keep things moving in the right direction and not making yourself seem like you are attached to him at the hip.
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Don't Ask These Drill Questions In Your Relationship!

2009-03-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

Don't Ask These Drill Questions In Your Relationship!
By Cucan Pemo
When you are in a relationship you need to know what you should ask and what you should keep to yourself. You may not know that when you are asking your partner something that you think is important, you may actually be insulting them and make a very large strain on the relationship as well. You need to be aware of these questions and keep them on the back burner as long as you can.
1. Do not ask your man what they are doing when they are not with you. This question is sometimes not the right thing to ask. You may want to think about it first so that you can determine if it is going to the right question at that moment. You may not have to know where your partner is during every second that you are not with them. However, if you think that your partner is doing something that they are not, you should be a little bit suspicious so that you are not setting yourself up for a terrible failure.2. Get to know your partner and what their personality is. You should not drill your mate on different things that you think you just have to know. You should think about this before you decide to use your detective work. You do not want to ask your man the questions that are going to be insulting to them. You should first make sure that you have some kind of proof before you start to drill them and make them very uncomfortable with the conversation.3. You have to know when to quit asking questions. You should not drill a man until the point that they feel uncomfortable. You need to make sure that you are not being too pushy. If you are pushing them too much, you may find that you lose out on something that is so important to you. 4. Never drill a man about what they do with their other friends. You should not make a man feel uncomfortable by asking them what they do on their down time with their other male friends. You need to let them have their space so that they are not feeling like you and all of your questions are invading them. You want them to be comfortable with you and have the knowledge that you can both go and have your own friends and have fun even when you are not around them.5. You should never embarrass your man by drilling them with questions when they are with their friends. You do not want to get them upset and very mad by asking them things that are private and that you need to talk to them about in private. This is something that you need to do so that you are not risking an argument with your mate in front of their friends.6. Never ask a man what they do when they are alone. This is something that you may not want to know. It may be a little bit scary. You never know what you are going to hear and it may even be more than you want to know. Think carefully before you ask your questions because you may have to prepare yourself for what you find out.7. There are different things that happen at work that you may not need to know. You should not drill a man about what they are doing at work if they are not ready to let you know. You may want to know what you are going on to some point. However there are things that a man would rather keep to himself. You have to learn how to respect that and let them have their space just as you would appreciate to have your own. This is something that you can do that also means that you are giving them respect that they deserve as well. You will find that when you allow them to have their space, you may even have a better relationship from having independence too.
Using good judgment to what you should know and what you should let go will help you have a better relationship with a man. I know that it may be hard but you have to do what will work best in your relationship and not seem too pushy at the same time. You would appreciate the same type of respect from him too.
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How To Reconstruct A Marriage With A Wife If She Says She Has Lost Interest In Being Married

2009-03-01T09:48:00.000-08:00

How To Reconstruct A Marriage With A Wife If She Says She Has Lost Interest In Being Married
By Cucan Pemo
It is not easy to watch a woman get bored with your marriage. It is even worse if you do not notice at all. You need to be aware of the things that are going on in your marriage so that you can make it work and last for as long as possible. You should not let your marriage get so boring to the point that your wife loses interest. I would recommend that you take the time to be sure that everyone is satisfied and happy so that you can keep your marriage happy and strong.
When your wife tells you that she is bored and is loosing interest in being married, you need to take action. You have to be ready and willing to reconstruct the marriage so that you are not losing out on something that you love so much. You should be able to keep the marriage going strong so that you can live a happy life together.
You can reconstruct a marriage first by communication. You have to be wiling to sit and talk to each other. The more that you talk, the more that you will be able to find out about each other and what is going on. You can talk about what is boring her and what she needs to have from you to be happy. When you are willing to sit and discuss things you will get down to what is really going on and how you can start to put it back together.
Once you have communicated well about what is going on, you should then think about what you have to do to make it all right. This is going to be serious. You should not go into this conversation unless you are totally willing to make things work between the two of you. You should sit down and think of things that you both can do to make the marriage more interesting to both of you. Listen to what she has to say and take it to heart. You should not demise what she is saying and take it serious so that you are able to put the spark back into the marriage.
I know that there are lots of married couples that just forget about the fun that they used to have. They have become comfortable with each other and there is nothing at all wrong with that. However, they have become too comfortable. Life has become boring for them and it is hard to get excited about being married again. When this happens, you need to notice before she comes to you and says that she is losing interest in being married. This is going to be the point that you want to avoid. You need to keep it fresh and alive in your marriage so that you can keep both of you excited and interested in the marriage.
Do not take things for granted. You may think that your marriage is happy and everything is great. However, you may not see what is really going on inside her head. You may not be able to see that she is bored and very unhappy. Again, the best thing that you can do is talk to each other and find out what each other is feeling. This is the called communication and it is the key factor to have in any marriage.
Think of ways that you can add the fun into your relationship. Plan a romantic getaway so that you can have some fun like you used in the beginning. You should think about how you can surprise her and make her feel special. Make this the most romantic getaway that you have ever had. Do not be afraid to make it over the top. If you have the money to make it happen, you should go for it. However if you do not, you can make it as well as you can with what you have. This is the best way that you can get some alone time without others around to make things right again or at least try.
Do something nice for your wife when you can. Shock her with your kindness and let her know that what she does is appreciated. You want her to know that she is something special in your life and you want to honor that. This is a great way to make her feel interested in the marriage again. You will be amazed at how far you may get with this approach. You want to do little things whenever you can so that she will feel like she is the light of your life and that you are always thinking of you.
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7 Easy Ways To Instantly Transform any Relationship or Marriage If She Says She Has Lost Interest

2009-03-01T09:43:00.000-08:00

7 Easy Ways To Instantly Transform any Relationship or Marriage If She Says She Has Lost Interest
By Cucan Pemo
It is not easy to stay in a relationship and keep interest in the other person. You need to do what you can to make sure that you are doing all that you can to keep the other interested in the things that you can do together. You want to make sure that you are keeping the relationship alive and moving along in the right direction just, as you want it to.
There are different things that you can do if your mate comes to you and says that she is loosing interest in the things that you do together and you. You should take the time to think about what you can do and make this relationship work as best as you can so that you are not putting the relationship in danger or ending. Take time to think about what you can do to put the fire back into the relationship.
1. You need to make sure that you are doing what you can to keep her interested in what you do together. You can try and make the weekends your time together. Pick one weekend day and do something fun together. You can use this time to see a movie or go see a play. You can do anything that you want to do to make the both of you have fun together. You want to make sure that you are keeping it fun for everyone involved.2. There are things that you can do to make her day a little brighter. You can try and send her flowers at work or give her candy when she is least expecting it. This is a great idea to keep the interest there. This will hopefully melt her heart and give her what she is looking for.3. Surprise her with a very romantic getaway. You should allow her to be excited about something every once in a while. You can take her away on a romantic getaway. This will make her feel very special and keep the interest there for both of you. This is a great way to make the both of you have a great time together and to spend some quality time together as a couple.4. Do not miss an open opportunity. If you are sitting at home and it is quiet, let her know how you feel. Expressing your true feelings and letting her know just how you are feeling about her will make it a lot easier for her to feel wanted when you tell her about how much she means to you when she is going to least expect it. You want her to feel like she is special.5. Getting her something that she has always wanted is good idea. Of course, you do not want to try and buy her off. You do however want to make her feel good and special about who she is and what she means to you. Getting her something that she wants can be anything. It can be a special piece of jewelry, a new vacuum, new sweater, or something that you know is important to her.6. Do something special for her when you can. Let her take the night off and make a very romantic dinner for the both of you. Take the kids to your mother’s house and light the candles. You can also do every thing from making the supper to cleaning up afterwards. This is not only a great way to make her feel appreciated but a way to make her feel like the chemistry is still there and this will help her keep interested and all that you do together.7. Let her know she is important to youThe main thing that you can do to keep her interest in you and the relationship is to make it worth her while. You want to let her know that she is important to you and that you are going to have the best life together. You want to talk about a future together so that you can make plans and keep the fires burning with the both of you and in your relationship.
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The Power of A Proper Attitude When Your Relationship Is Driving You Crazy

2009-03-01T09:40:00.000-08:00

The Power of A Proper Attitude When Your Relationship Is Driving You Crazy By Cucan Pemo
There was once when someone wrote me and told me how hopeless and disappointed he felt when his girl-friend didn't take the initiative to invite him over to her hometown for her birthday celebration.
Worse, he was being informed by his girlfriend that she just met up with one of her former, "close" boyfriends.
Just by reading his mail, you could sense that his relationship was scarred and it was definitely not going smoothly.
He was not alone, feeling this way.
There was a time when my boy-friend didn't call me up as he usually would, when he went away for a sporting competition with his mates during the weekends.
I knew exactly where he went to, where he was, what he was doing; yet during that morning when I had had some time to take a break and was having a quiet morning; I couldn't help feeling uneasy and restless - that day!
I'm sure it happened to a number of you. Suddenly you just kept feeling restless, and you simply can't stop telling yourself stories (in your head, sort of like talking to yourself - an internal dialogue).
Things got worst when he didn't manage to give me a call that day; and I got more and more agitated, with my-self, as well as him!
I was quick to become fully conscious and aware of this inner dialogue and the agitations I'm feeling. It felt as if I was watching "someone" getting madder and restless, full of stories in her head!
He did call up late in the night (near midnight!); claiming that he was so caught with the preparation for his race that he didn't really have time to contact me upon his arrival in the noon.
I told myself I could have scream at him that he broke his "promise" of not calling at that specific time; and accused him of not staying back home to accompany me, but chose to spend the weekends with his buddies.
Yet, I was so relieved to hear his voice! When I recalled what happened during the day; I couldn't help laughing at myself! Boy! Our internal dialogue and "conversations" with our-selves can really torture us!
Feelings of insecurity and jealousy definitely have no place in a long term, committed relationship.
On the other hand; I'm not siding with the girl-friend mentioned above. She could have chosen to handle things differently and take into considerations the feelings of her boy-friend.
However, it is not worth it to torture your-self and make yourself unhappy when things are not seemingly going your way!
The guy told me his thoughts:"Disappointed - because she didn't take the initiative to invite him over to her party""Angry and frustrated - because of the presence of her "close friend"It all comes down to just how you can cultivate the right attitude towards yourself.
Getting the right attitude is the first thing on your list of things to do when you’re feeling helpless and frustrated about how things are going.
If you have learnt the laws of attraction, you'll understand that it's based on the idea that what you do and think in this world will then affect the outcome of your life.
For example, if you don’t believe that you can create your own wealth and abundance, chances are likely that you won’t.
If you don’t believe in a loving relationship, then you will not find one. But it’s not impossible to change the way that you think. All you need is the right tools to begin. Here are some ways to get started.
What you may not know
To begin, you will want to start thinking about the way that you think right now. What you can do is write down all of your thoughts during the day to see how many negative thoughts you have.
This can be a highly enlightening experience. Just the writing down of your thoughts can be interesting because you will start to realize just how many thoughts you have each day.
Once you’ve gotten a good idea of how many negative thoughts you can have during a typical day, it time to start turning them into abundance attracting thoughts – and you can do this by starting to question the way that you think.
Just by simply slowing down your thinking and asking yourself ‘why’ you think the way you do, you will start to see the fault in some of your lines of reasoning. You’ll realize that you really don’t have a reason for thinking what you do – or you just don’t have a ‘good’ reason.
But here’s the next step
Try to counter any negative thoughts with positive ideas. Many people find it to be a good practice to write down the negative thoughts they have and then counter them with something that turns the thought into a positive statement.
For example, if you sit around thinking that you just don’t have any money, change it into the idea that you might not have money now, but you will in the next few weeks. If you’re worried about paying your bills, tell yourself that you always have the money each month and you will again the next month.
You might also want to say the positive ‘rebuttal’ aloud if you’re in a place where you feel safe to do so. Simply tell yourself to ‘stop’ the negative thought, repeat it and then change it to something more positive. Then repeat that positive thought again to help yourself remember what you ‘should’ be thinking.
The power of a proper attitude
When you start to create a more positive mindset, it’s amazing what your life can become.
Not only will you begin to notice the good in everything around you, but you will also begin to see the opportunity in your environment. You’ll begin to see challenges as challenges, rather than instant problems. You’ll begin to see a chance to make things better as opposed to feeling hopeless about certain parts of your life.
And a positive attitude has also been linked to many health benefits too. People who are more positive tend to have fewer colds and flus than negative people. There is even some scientific research that is showing that more positive thinkers also tend to suffer less during illnesses as well as fight cancers and other diseases more easily.
An everyday process
Creating a positive mind is not something that you can just ‘do’ and then neglect; it is something that you must cultivate and nourish each day of your life.
You can accomplish this through keeping a journal of your positive thoughts or taking the time to be grateful for the positive things in your life. Some people find that thanking their chosen deity or religious practices to be comforting. Whatever helps you to feel like you are able to maintain your positive attitude, try to incorporate it into each day.
As you find your life and your attitude to be more positive each day, you will find that things come to you more easily. You’re not struggling with your life as much as you once were. This is due to the laws of attraction. Because you are putting good ‘vibes’ into the world, they are returning to you in the form of less stress and resistance in your life. Learn to become fully conscious and aware of your internal "dialogues". The power of positive thinking? Absolutely.
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8 Easy Ways To Divorce Proof Your Marriage

2009-03-01T09:37:00.000-08:00

8 Easy Ways To Divorce Proof Your Marriage
By Cucan Pemo
There is no easy ways that you can make your relationship divorce proof. However, you can take your chances and trying to make it less of a bust, but you will never be able to guarantee yourself to have a divorce proof marriage. There are some things that you can do to make your marriage work better for you, but there is no guarantee that it will work out happily ever after.

1) Make your relationship and marriage stronger by always keeping the communication channels open. If you always keep your feelings open and there is always 100% honesty in the relationship, your marriage will last years. You will be able to not worry about what the other is doing because you have a basis of trust that makes the relationship seem very secure for both partners. This makes marriage years go by so easily.

2) Tell your partner when things are going bad. You may not want to hurt the others feelings, but you have to think about your feelings sometimes. When you are in a rut, you feel depressed and horrible, but if you manage to be open, you will be able to keep your marriage going strong. When you don’t open up about your feelings that is when people start going crazy with affairs and being careless about the relationship and about the love

3) Learn how to live together.You will know whether both of your are meant for each other if you can move in together and live together for a year or two before marriage. Those who love each other learn how to live together. They do not argue over petty things in the marriage because they have been there and done all of that. You will be able to build a strong commitment before you get married when you move in together before you two get married.

4) Make your relationship last by giving each other some affection. Kiss your mate goodbye and kiss your mate when they walk in the door. Go to the movies hand and hand. Place your arms around your mate so that they will feel special when you are out together. Every time that you show your mate some affection, you are confirming all of the love that grows between you.

5) Bonding through doing some activities together. Find something that you mutually like and then go do it together. You can exercise, dance, sing, go to a bar, watch a weekly show, and so on. It can be anything that you would like to. It is anything that you mutually enjoy.

6) You may find it to be odd, but you both need to have independent lives. When couples spend too much together, they get themselves in trouble. You need to have a night out for yourself, and then you need to give your mate and night off, so you will end up having two nights where you two go out and do your own thing. You may want to spend this time on your hobbies or just going shopping or taking a bath. This is just where you spend time away from each other; it only has to be a couple hours of the night.

7) You need to also make time to be intimate with each other. There are times when you need to spend some time away from each other and then they are times when you have to put some extra time aside to be intimate. You do not always have to have sex. You can cuddle, hug, kiss, massage each other, and so on. It can be anything that you two want that will keep the love and romance going. You can even play some games to spice it up in the bedroom.

8) Finally, you need to stay positive. When you are honest and you take care of your relationship you are still going to find hard times. There are always ups and down in a relationship no matter how hard you work, but the thing is that people, who stick together, stay together. You will be able to keep your marriage going strong when you are able to focus on the positive.

There are so many things that you can do to make your relationship strong, however, you have to make sure that you are giving your mate the proper attention and love on a daily basis so that the hard times don’t seem so hard. You will also notice that if you can stay positive, you will have a positive relationship.
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7 Qualities Girls Like Their Ideal Partner To Have!

2009-03-01T09:33:00.000-08:00

7 Qualities Girls Like Their Ideal Partner To Have!
By Cucan Pemo
If you are a man reading this, you need to pay attention! There are some things that you need to know so that you can find and KEEP a great relationship. You need to understand what women want to have in their ideal partner. This may be you but you may have to make some changes in your life and this list is going to help you do just that.
MEN Please Take Notes1. You need to be a good listener. A woman wants to have a man in her life that listens to everything that she says. It is going to make her happy and you never know when you are going to learn something important. You need to make sure that you are paying attention and using your best intensions when she is talking to you. Be considerate and even if it is a subject that you have no interest in, pretend anyway! 2. Make sure that you are asking your girl the right questions. Take an interest in what she did that day. “ What did you do today?” or “ How was your day?” these are great questions to ask a woman because she is going to love telling you about it. Never tell her what to do or the right way that you believe to do something. You want to make sure that you are offering the right advice when it comes time to.3. Do not give her advice on what to do all the time. She wants you to listen and not to give out instructions all the time. Yes, it is good to offer help and to give support when you are asked. However do not push your opinions on her and certainly do not let her think that your way is always the right way no matter how tempting it may be. 4. Make good eye contact with her. When she walks into a room, pay attention! Let her know that she looks great and that you are appreciating the way that she takes the time to make herself look great for you. She will love the fact that you are taking the time to pay attention to her and looking at her eyes and not at everything else. That is for later! 5. Make sure that you are telling her that you love her. You need to give her affection. Every woman wants to have affection from her man. This is going to make her feel loved and special and why wouldn’t you want to do this? Giving her love and appreciation will make it all seem worthwhile and she will love you more for it and it will put her in a better mood too. What man does not want to put his girl in a better mood? The better her mood usually means that better your mood will be. 6. Spending time with the girl is very important. You do not always have to do what you want to do. Make sure that you are taking an interest in what makes her happy. This may mean that you have to do certain things that you would not normally do but you have to think ahead. When you are doing thing that she likes, you will be making her happy and you may end up liking it too. 7. Actions are a great way to make a woman feel good. Touch her hand and hug her at any given moment. Show her that you are affectionate towards her. Do nice thing for her when she is least expecting it. She will defiantly appreciate this. You want to surprise her with little things when you can. Women love this type of thing even it is something as simple as flowers or candy from time to time. You can also give her a back rub at night when she has had a hard day. She will defiantly appreciate this. Learning the right tools is going to be the key factor in your relationship with a woman. You need to make sure that you are giving her all the attention that you can so that you are letting her know that she is important and how she feels does matter to you.
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Big No-No's In Your Relationship with A Woman, Which She Secretly Wish You Knew!

2009-03-01T09:26:00.000-08:00

Big No-No's In Your Relationship with A Woman, Which She Secretly Wish You Knew!
By Cucan Pemo
There are things that women want men to know but do not tell them. This is going to mean the difference between a good relationship and a bad one. If men could only know about these things that are big no-nos and knew what women wanted, they would be able to have happier relationships with the woman in their life.Giving Respect is as Important as Getting It One thing is respect. Women want to have respect. When it comes to respecting women, some men are not so good at it. This may end up resulting in them losing out in the relationship. It is important to show respect to a woman that you are involved with or any woman for that matter. Give them an opportunity to see that you can be a good guy and that you can respect what they believe and let them have their own feelings about things.Respect is going to be shown through actions. You can do nice things for a woman like opening up the door, giving up your seat or talking to her differently with passion and concern. It is not acceptable to just fake some charm on a first date. You need to be real and up front about how you are going to be in the relationship on a day-to-day basis. Being Kind to the World Being kind is another secret that most men do not know that women want. Women want their man to be kind to everyone. They want them to nice to everyone that they meet to some degree. Treating others nicely will mean that they are kind and are going to give the same type of treatment that they deserve and expect from everyone else. Kindness can go a long way to a women’s heart and it should be something that men think about.Having Accountability for Actions Women want men to have accountability. They wan to make sure that men are going to take the responsibility for the things that they have done. This can mean anything from the smallest problem to bigger life changing events that happen in their life. Women want to make sure that they are with a man that is going to be a stand-up guy and do what they are supposed to do. Loving FamilyOne no no that women hate is a man that does not love her family. Women want to have a man that is going to love their family and take on the pressures of family life in a good way. This means their parents, brothers, sisters and children all the same. They need to know that they can rely on their husbands or boyfriends to do what is needed of them. Most women need someone that they can trust and whom they know is going to be there for them when they are most in need. Being Safe and Secure Women want to also feel safe with their men. They want to know that they have nothing to worry about and that they are in good hands when they are with them. Having the feeling of security is going to mean all the difference when a woman is with their man. They want to be secure not only with their man but they also want to know that their man is going to be there to protect them when they need it the most. Women need to make sure that their man is taking their relationship seriously. They want to know that their man is going to be there for them no matter what and they want to make sure that they are for real in the partnership. Try not to joke around all the time and laugh about things in the relationship as this is going to insult some women and make them feel low. Women want their men to be committed and serious about what is going on in the relationship just as they do.
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Dealing With Strong Feelings: 7 Ways To Get Over A Broken Heart FAST!

2009-03-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

Dealing With Strong Feelings: 7 Ways To Get Over A Broken Heart FAST!
By Cucan Pemo
A broken heart is hard to deal with no matter how the break up goes down. It is something that may hurt for a long time to come. You need to figure out how to get over a broken heart when it happens. It may not be something that you want to think about but you have to do it because life does go on and you need to take advantage of it.
There are going to be different phases of the breakup. You need to go through them all so that you are able to achieve the sense of security and love that you once did. Having these feelings are going to be good for you but you do not want to take them too far. This will only make things harder on you when it comes to getting on with your life. There are predicable phases of a break up. You may have been through them before, but there are some good ways to deal with your strong feelings and get over that broken heart fast!
You need to share your feelings. Getting out what you are feeling is going to make you feel better inside. You want to share these feelings with your friends and family or anyone that will listen to you. Having a good support is going to help you get through the tough times faster. You do not have to let it out all at once. Talk about it slowly and work your way up to getting it all out in the open.
Think about what is good for you. You have to get over this broken heart fast so that you are able to feel better. You need to make good choices for what is good for your heart and soul. Make sure that you are not putting yourself in any situation that may be harmful for you. Getting over the breakup is important and you need to do what is best for you.
Taking good care of you is important. You want to keep eating and exercising and staying healthy. You need to keep your strength up so that you are able to be strong and able to feel good about yourself. This will help you get over the break up and get back on track.
Let it all out if you want to. Crying is good. You do not have to be embarrassed about crying. It is part of life. You will find that there are going to be hard times that hit you all of a sudden and you will feel like crying and letting it all out. You need to do this anyway to keep your sanity. This will help you feel better and get back on track. You need to do this when you feel the urge and do not worry about what others think.
Doing the things that you love the most will help you get over the break up too. You will want to make sure that you are keeping up with your hobbies and doing what makes you the happiest. You want to keep your schedule on track and stay busy. This will help you heal faster.
Keeping busy is key. You need to stay on the go and keep your mind occupied. This will allow you to keep those unhappy and undesirable life events out of your mind and keep you motivated to stay healthy. You want to make sure that you are doing all that you can to stay busy. You will want to talk to your friends, go out more and spend some time with your family. These things will make you feel better and help heal your wounded heart.
Time is of the essence. You need to remember that all wounds heal with time. You need to give yourself the time and soon you will notice that you are not feeling so bad and that life is good again. If you actively seek the answers to the problematic areas of your life which has caused your breakups, you will find the answers. Seek the help of an expert if you desire to restore your marriage or your relationship. Ask and talk to people who have successfully saved their relationship. Their insights and experience can help you pull through this period. Who knows, once you have it all figured out, you could well be on your way to save your relationship and have your lover running back into your arms again!
There is no need to worry when you are involved in a break up. Everyone has been through it and there is going to be happiness again. When a relationship breakup happens, understand that it is not your fault and do not put all the blame on yourself. It usually does mean that something has gone off-balance in your life and in your relationship and you need to put that balance back.
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How To Resolve Issues In Your Relationship

2009-03-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

How To Resolve Issues In Your RelationshipBy Cucan Pemo
At some time in our personal relationships, we all go through problems, but unless you pinpoint the problems and learn how to resolve them, your relationship can fall apart. 1) Take Your Relationship To a New Place Getting away from the norm can be a healthy thing for a long relationship. Long relationships tend to create habits and routines that are hard to break for both partners. It is important to stay spontaneous in your relationship and this is not a new concept but a very true one. You can easily fall into routines such as getting up, going to work, coming home, eating, watching TV and then going to bed.
Try to spice it up a little and make different plans every few days and a couple of weekends a month. Remember, though, it is difficult to make these changes every single day, so try to space them out. Shaking things up too much can be as big of a problem as sticking with a routine. There are lots of ways to break those routines. It doesn't matter if it is for a week, weekend, or just the day, as some time away from the norm can be very therapeutic. A nice option is to find a place where the romance can ignite, as you have some alone time with your partner. Unfortunately, until it happens to them, many people do not think that living with an individual can make them lonelier than they’ve ever been in their lives. Studies indicate, though, that thousands in a committed relationship feel alone. Not many people in relationships spend a lot of time with their partner, and they tend to take them for granted. Sometimes there are days when the couple does not even talk about anything that has real meaning. This can be negative on both sides, and by exerting some effort to pay more attention to your partner it can bring about a healthier relationship. Getting away from those old routines can help get the two of you where you need to be.2) Listening, Talking, Then Speaking If a conversation is brought up, and an argument happens, you should try to think why the argument came about. Sometimes you can provoke the argument, and you are not aware you are doing so.
For example, constantly criticizing your partner or dwelling on small details in a negative way is a way of provoking confrontation and not knowing it. Maybe you always harp on her clothes. Alternately, perhaps you incessantly complain that he’s late when he comes home. It doesn’t matter what it is, if you discover this is happening, you should try to listen carefully when you speak. You should try to look into the future what will happen if you happen to say this or do that. You are the person who knows your partner better than anyone else; therefore use this to your advantage. Understand what triggers the arguments, and you may be able to solve them before they start.3) Making Time for One Another There’s no simple way around it, our lives are busy places. That time spent elsewhere, though, means time you’re choosing not to focus on your relationship, and that can cause some real problems. Set aside time just to spend with your partner.
After being in the relationship for a long period of time, this can be the only way get control of the spiraling problems you may be experiencing. Try to set aside some time where you can have a good conversation or go for a walk. Setting aside some time to enjoy your time together can help make a healthier relationship.4) Making Time For YourselfSpending too much time with someone for too long can be overwhelming. You may discover that taking a solo trip refreshes you, as well as your partner. You may find that you will miss your partner and it may take some time alone to realize this.
Focusing on yourself for a bit may, in turn, help you to focus on your relationship. For example, while you’re on your own, you may discover that your partner often speaks for you. Understanding the root cause of this problem may help you communicate the issues to your partner more effectively.If you and your partner are having relationship problems you should try to look at the problem and sit down with them to have a heart to heart alone talk with no interruptions. If this still does not work and you are still having relationship problems then counseling may be a good option.
The relationship is an investment in time and emotion. Because of this, you should take advantage of the time you spend together and, in a constructive way, come to terms with why the problems are occurring. ====================Have your lover come running back into your loving arms again before it's too late!Do you know what your lover or spouse want from your as a partner and mate??Do you know you CAN have a long lasting marriage or relationship and be the Lover your partner never wants to leave? TAKE CHARGE of your relationshipdestiny TODAY with my Relationship Restoration strategies, which have beenused by happy and satisfied readers from ALL over the world. Read ALL the ravereviews here and learn how you can Save your Marriage and Relationship today!==> http://item0612.cpemo.hop.clickbank.net/
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How To Save Your Marriage and Stop Your Divorce : Let's Start Talking Again

2009-02-28T21:14:00.000-08:00

How To Save Your Marriage and Stop Your Divorce : Let's Start Talking Againby Cucan Pemo
It’s a fact that more marriages end in divorce than those that last. It used to be that marriages really were forever. The phrase “’till death do us part” was actually meant when it was uttered during wedding vows.
Now, we see or hear about celebrities who marry for 18 hours and couples that get hitched only to get legal status in one country or another.
Marriage is not a word that should be taken lightly, yet it is on a daily basis. But what do you do when your marriage is starting to fall apart, when everything you want is slowly slipping away? You rescue it.
1) Rescuing the Relationship
To save your relationship, you must first figure out what is causing it to fall apart.
Do you and your spouse talk about things, or are you too busy working and raising your family to discuss what’s going on? Have you gone on a date in the last six months?
Do you fight and argue all the time, or has one of you cheated on the other? What is causing the relationship to break down? Let’s face it; you don’t just wake up one morning and say, “I think I’d like a divorce today.” In order to figure out what’s going (or gone) wrong in your relationship, you need to take a step back from your feelings to observe what is going on. If you fight frequently, write down the things you fight about. Write down the amount of time you’ve spent together in the last few days, and write down what you were doing when you weren’t spending time together. You will want to get everything straight in your head before you start to talk to your spouse about your problems and what you think might be damaging your relationship.
2) Talking—It’s Not Overrated
After you have gathered your information, approach your spouse.
Make sure you go into the discussion calmly and rationally. You also want to make sure that you’re not accosting or accusing, but rather asking and questioning.
If you go into the talk too aggressively, you are going to turn them off and nothing will get answered or resolved. Make sure you lay everything out on the table, from the things that are bothering you to the things that you wish you did more of together.
Explain that you want to know how your spouse is feeling, and that you care about where they want the relationship to go.
3) Scheduling
If you have a busy schedule, you may want to make an appointment to have this discussion. Actually, making a schedule for the two of you on a weekly basis is an excellent idea.
All parents know that children thrive on routine, which is why they have a time to wake up, a time to eat, and a time to go to bed. Relationships thrive on a somewhat of a timed schedule, as well.
For instance, take the case of my friend and her husband. Both of them spend every Saturday night together. They have young children, so most of the time they stay in instead of going out. They will rent a movie and either get take-out or some quick meal they can throw together once the kids have gone to bed.
They leave the lights on in the living room long enough to eat their meal, and then, once that’s done, they put the dishes in the sink (they will still be there the next day, so there’s no reason to spoil the mood by doing them), turn the lights off and snuggle together to watch the rest of the movie. They don’t talk about anything except the movie, and make sure that they are touching each other as much as they can.
It is not “un-romantic” to schedule time to be with your spouse. Make sure that you get some time together, whether it’s going out together, or staying in watching a movie. For myself and my boyfriend, sometimes we’ll pull out a board game, add some alcohol, and have a great night being silly together.
As you get along in your relationship, you come to take each other for granted. Spending fun, relaxing time together is one great way to get your relationship back on track.
If you’re thinking about filing for divorce because you can’t stand the fighting anymore, stop. Think about why you are fighting, and try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. When you love each other and put a little work into it, marriages really can last forever.
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How To Save Your Marriage - With Touch and Sex

2009-02-28T21:12:00.000-08:00

How To Save Your Marriage - With Touch and Sex by Cucan Pemo
There are a number of things that can cause a solid marriage to crumble. One minute you’re eating pot roast gathered around the dinner table; the next you’re watching your spouse pack up the family vehicle and you’re torn between despair, anger, and a broken heart.
Your mind may be racing through the past few years, remembering when you first got together, to the last discussion you had. Is it possible to go back and change things? No. You can’t change the past, no matter how many years you’ve been together—but you can start fixing things between the two of you.
1) Sit. Relax. Talk.
In order to fix your marriage, you need to get on even ground again. Right now you may be feeling as though things are extremely lumpy between the two of you, so you need to even out the playing field. Schedule a time when the two of you can sit and talk.
If it’s possible, get to neutral territory. Here is what one of my friends did when she had a fight with her husband and which I felt was very effective. When her husband and herself were having a huge fight, they called a babysitter to come watch their children and took off.
They didn’t talk about anything in the car, but instead drove to a beautiful river about 15 minutes from their house. She told me they sat by the river and talked about what was going on in their marriage, and about how they could fix it. Being by the river relaxed my friend, and being out of theirr home relaxed her husband. It was the perfect spot for them to talk about our problems. A change of environment can do wonders if you are having a good discussion.
There are a few rules you have to both agree upon before you have a discussion.
a. No yelling. Yelling is not conducive to solving your problem. It does nothing but anger your spouse and cause negative emotions to escalate, so avoid it at all costs.b. Stick to the issues. Don’t drag things in from years ago that have already been settled. If your spouse cheated on you 10 years ago, but you’ve forgiven them and they haven’t touched another person since, don’t drag that into the battle. Leave the past alone and work on the present and the future.c. Time yourselves. Some people tend to be so passionate that they don’t let their partner get a word in edgewise. Bring an egg timer along and give yourself a specific amount of time to talk.
If you are able to follow these rules, you can have a discussion and get down to what is really making the foundation of the marriage crack.
2) Forgive
Once you’ve figured out what the problem is, you need to forgive it. It may sound a bit strange, but you need to forgive the relationship for not being perfect.
After all, the relationship is made by the people in it, and nobody’s perfect, which means that no relationship will be perfect.
Understand and forgive that. Once you’ve gotten everything out, you should either be on the same page, or agreeing to disagree, which is fine as well. The whole point of talking is to be able to focus on the problem and get rid of it, or learn to deal with it.
3) Touch
Once your marriage is a little less shaky, it’s time to build the supports back up.
When is the last time you greeted your spouse at the door with a long hug and kiss when they arrived home from work?
If your spouse comes home after you, greet them at the door. Offer a huge hug and a relaxing kiss so that they can truly transition from being at work to being at home.
When’s the last time you danced together? Dancing is an excellent way to get your bodies used to each other again. Sway to some music in the middle of your living room, or do the jitter bug in your kitchen!
Enjoying each other is a wonderful way to keep things fresh and healthy between the two of you.
4) Sex
You do not want sex to be the most important thing in your relationship, but it needs to factor in at some point. Sex releases endorphins, which elevates your mood.
It’s a way for the two of you to connect that you can share with no one else, and is both stimulating and comforting. Sometimes we get so busy we forget to spend time together in bed; so schedule time! Make it a date! For example, every Wednesday night you can shut things down early and meet each other in the middle of your bed.
When you learn to talk openly and spend plenty of time touching, enjoying each other, and making love, your relationship has nowhere to go but up.
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How To Save Your Relationship : What to Do If You Are Always Arguing!

2009-02-28T21:07:00.000-08:00

How To Save Your Relationship : What to Do If You Are Always Arguing! by Cucan Pemo
Most people live full-time with their parents for 18 years. If you meet the one whom you’re meant to be with before you’re 30 years old, you will hopefully end up spending more than 30 years with them. This means that you’ll be spending more than double the time with your spouse than you spent with your parents.
With such a large amount of time being spent with another person, it’s a given that you are going to clash now and again. Sometimes, however, the fighting gets so bad that one or the other of you may decide to quit your relationship all together.
So how do you save a relationship that seems to be headed down the toilet?
1) Recognize Reality
The first thing you have to do is recognize why you’re fighting. Are you fighting because you’re truly mad at each other, or are you fighting because you’re upset that some jerk at your office accused you of something you didn’t do?
You live together and are friends, of course, so it makes sense that you take out your moods and pent-up emotions on each other.
However, this can cause a lot of problems. Before your anger escalates to the boiling point, stop and figure out exactly why you’re angry. If you’re frustrated about something at work, let your lover know. They are the person you should be able to turn to when things aren’t going the way you want them to.
2) Find the Calm
The calmer you are, the more likely your spouse will be to take you seriously. People are more likely to listen to the words of a calm person than they are to someone who won’t stop ranting and raving.
One way in which you can learn to remain calm is to take up meditation or yoga. Simple breathing techniques that are taught in these disciplines can help you to learn to stay calm, even in the midst of a really difficult argument. When you learn these breathing techniques, you may be able to stave off the argument entirely, which is one way to help save your relationship.
3) Agree to Disagree
No two people are going to agree on everything all of the time. It would be a pretty boring world if we all did! Take the case of one of my male friends. He believes that his daughter shouldn’t have earrings until she is 14, while his wife believes that she should be allowed to have them anytime after the age of four.
This is an argument that threatened to tear them apart. Finally, they both agreed to disagree about the earring situation. He figured out that, when she got older, she would convince him herself. Sometimes you have to put aside your strong feelings and realize that your lover has strong feelings, as well. It’s perfectly all right to agree to disagree!
4) Teamwork
Instead of fighting against each other, come together and work for, or against, something. If you have children, work toward giving them the best life you can give them.
If you’re against something in your town, work toward getting it resolved. If you’re into sports, join a team together. The couple that plays together, stays together!
5) Dance and Romance
When my boyfriend and I first got together, we used to spend hours just talking late at night. We would both be exhausted the next morning from the time we spent awake, chatting with each other.
As our relationship got further and further apart, we realized that we never stayed up talking anymore. One evening the music was on and I grabbed him and started dancing around the room with him. The simple act made us happy and made us realize how much we loved just being in each other’s arms.
Dance and romance your partner. Sometimes swaying slowly together in a darkened kitchen is one of the nicest ways to reconnect.
Relationships are tricky things. When you put two people together for a long amount of time, they are bound to fight and bicker.
If the bickering gets bad enough, things can disassemble quite quickly. Find ways to show your lover how much you care about them. Put silly little love notes in their lunchbox. Write a message in the steam on the bathroom mirror, so that the next time they take a shower they will see the message.
Grab some lipstick and write “I love you” on their car window while they’re at work or busy doing something else. Realize that nobody’s perfect, and focus more on reconnecting with your loved one rather than winning a battle.
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Is My Man Cheating: Dealing With Cheaters In Your Relationship!

2009-02-28T20:56:00.000-08:00

Is My Man Cheating: Dealing With Cheaters In Your Relationship! by Cucan Pemo
Nothing is more heart-wrenching than when you find out the one you love cheated on you with another person. You feel betrayed, angry, hurt, and frustrated, along with a myriad of other feelings. Is it possible to save a relationship that has been soiled by a cheating lover?
Can the one who was cheated on get over the betrayal, and will the one who cheated do so again?
1) Why Do People Cheat?
Most people will never be able to understand why another person would cheat on the one they love. There are a number of different reasons that both men and women cheat, but one thing is for sure: they believe that by cheating and going outside of the relationship, they can make things better inside the relationship.
Some people feel that they’re not getting what they need from their partner. They feel as though they’re not special to their partner anymore and go outside of the relationship in order to feel special again.
Others simply enjoy flirting and take things one step too far. Some do not know how to honor the boundaries of a relationship, and some men believe that they aren’t being manly if they turn down a sexual offer from a beautiful woman.
Does this make cheating okay? Of course not! If you have an open relationship, where each of you is allowed to be with other people, that’s one thing. If you’re in an exclusive relationship and you cheat behind your loved one’s back, it is not okay. You are breaking their trust and heart in order to get your own gratification.
2) Time to Heal
If you have been cheated on, you need some time to heal. My friend Tammy was cheated on by her partner of 10 years. He explained the situation away, telling her that he still loved her but that he wasn’t getting what he needed from her.
He was getting older, he said, and sleeping with someone so much younger than him made him feel better. To this day, I am still shocked that she didn’t scream when he said that. Instead, she came to us and we helped her to get her own apartment.
Tammy had never lived on her own and was very scared at the prospect. After a few months, she learned how to live on her own. She discovered that she missed her partner, and that while she didn’t condone what he had done, she understood his point of view. The two worked through their differences and have been happy together since.
If your partner has cheated on you, give yourself time to heal. It may take months for you to fully heal from the wound that was inflicted on your heart. If living with the person is too difficult, move away for a bit. You can stay with friends or family, or you can get your own place.
3) Forgive, Don’t Forget
In order for your relationship to be saved, it is vital that you forgive both your partner and the person they slept with. If you walk around harboring those feelings, your anger and jealousy will build until the relationship rots from the inside.
Forgiving your lover and the person they cheated with is the next step in saving your relationship. This does not mean that you should forget what happened. While you shouldn’t bring it up all the time, it’s important to remember what occurred (which is generally not too difficult).
How can you forgive your lover’s other partner? First of all, you need to recognize that the person is not perfect. They have flaws, both in their personality and in their body. Your partner likely chose this person for reasons other than looks or compatibility—such as luck and circumstance, or being at the “right place at the right time.”
How can you forgive your lover? Try seeing things from their point of view, realizing that not everyone is perfect, and knowing that some people make mistakes, including your lover.
The question then becomes whether or not you should forgive your lover. If your beloved is trying to make amends, and if they are truly sorry for what they did, your relationship still has a chance to mend and heal. If they explain what occurred and are willing to pour out their heart to you, things can get better. With a little time, and a lot of understanding, a relationship can survive a cheating lover.
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Overcoming Your Relationship Breakup: STOP, Don't Go!

2009-02-28T20:53:00.000-08:00

Overcoming Your Relationship Breakup: STOP, Don't Go! by Cucan Pemo
It’s over. Your loved one is saying that they’re going to leave. They’re packing up their stuff and are ready to move to a new place. How do you stop the breakup from happening?
How do you get things back to the way they were? How do you get your loved one to unpack their bags at home instead of somewhere else? There are a lot of ways to deal with such a situation—a lot of things you should, and shouldn’t, do.
1) The “Shouldn’ts”
Women tend to beg when their loved one is on the verge of leaving. I can remember, in minute detail (unfortunately), the way I begged my ex to not leave our apartment. I literally got down on my knees and grabbed him to stop him from leaving.
Did you notice I said “ex”? The first time I did this, it did work and he didn’t leave. We talked through our differences and were able to stay together for another couple of months. Then, once again, he prepared to leave. I pulled my stunt and guess what? He left anyway.
Our relationship was officially over. Your first instinct as a woman may be to beg and plead, but it just belittles you and generally doesn’t work on your loved one.
Don’t try to make your loved one jealous. Some people go out and make new “friends” in an effort to make their significant other jealous enough to not leave. Most of the time, this doesn’t work, either. Instead of making the spouse jealous, it may give them the final push they need to leave for good. A slight bit of jealousy can give a relationship a spark, but not if it’s already on a downswing.
2) The “Shoulds”
The first thing you should do is step back, breathe, and give your loved one some room. If they feel hemmed in, they’re not going to want to stay with you. Remember the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar?”
In giving them what they want, you are respecting their time and are giving yourself time to cool down, as well. In the heat of the argument, things are often said aren’t meant by either party. Time alone gives you the chance to breathe and to move onto the next step.
Step two involves figuring out what’s really going on in the relationship. Why does your loved one want to break up? Have you been fighting recently? Are all the fights about the same thing, or are they about random things?
If all the fights are about the same thing, then you already know what you have to work on. If they are about random things, there is probably some underlying argument simmering below the surface that hasn’t been discussed. Work on trying to figure out what that is.
Approach your loved one and calmly ask them what their biggest problem with the relationship is. Sometimes their answer will give you the direction that you should move in next.
3) Ch-ch-ch-changes
Everybody changes; it’s a fact of life! Who you are when you’re a senior in high school is not who you’ll be when you’re 30. Who you are now may not be who you are in a few months.
This is often why relationships start to fall apart: you feel as though you don’t know the person you’re with anymore. Make some time to get to know each other again! Spend time together doing simple things: walking, talking, sitting in the park feeding the birds.
Do things together that require that you are both alone together. You could go to a movie, but you really can’t talk well there. The best thing to do is to find something you can do that allows you to communicate with each other.
Open yourself up to your partner. Sometimes we focus so much on what we want that we neglect to think of how our partner is feeling. Often, if you try to see things through their point of view, you will find that you are much more empathetic to their feelings. You can see their side of the argument, and if you can do that, then you can fix it.
Strong relationships are fixable, and it’s always better to try to stop a breakup before it happens than to try to fix it after it’s been broken. After all, you can always fix a crack in a vase, but it’s a lot more difficult to find all of the pieces once it’s broken.
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Save Your Marriage: What To Do When Your Bad Habits Are Ruining Your Marriage

2009-02-28T20:50:00.000-08:00

Save Your Marriage: What To Do When Your Bad Habits Are Ruining Your Marriage by Cucan Pemo
Sometimes, bad marriages happen to good people. Okay, that's not a fair statement - just because you're having problems, that doesn't mean that your marriage is "bad."
Any number of things can contribute to relationship difficulties - boredom, time issues, the stress of raising children, and money troubles can all contribute to marital troubles.
It's common for people to feel dissatisfied after awhile. You see this person every day, brushing their teeth, clearing their throat, dropping their dirty underwear on the floor, telling the same jokes over and over and over. It's only natural to feel that the magic is gone.
There's no mystery left, and suddenly it seems like everything you do annoys your spouse! Gritting your teeth and putting up with each other just makes you feel trapped, as if you made a terrible mistake and you're doomed to spend the rest of your life with the wrong person.
But when you got married, you vowed to stick it out for better or worse, meaning that you promised to do the work necessary to make your marriage thrive. And don't kid yourself - marriage takes a lot of work. But it's worth the effort, if you're willing to do what needs to be done.
1) Those awful things you do
It's often said that you can't change other people - you can only change yourself. And that's absolutely true.
You can certainly share with your spouse what it is about them that's driving you crazy, but they have to make the commitment to make those changes themselves. In the meantime, what about you? Are you perfect? Be honest. Aren't there a few things that you do that irritate your spouse?
Maybe you don't realize that your habits are annoying. Or maybe you're so used to hearing your spouse complain that it doesn't even register anymore! Here's a short list of annoying behaviors 'take a look and see if you're guilty of any of the following:
a) Picking your nose/scratching intimate areas in public
b) Laughing at your own jokes
c) Leaving wet towels on the floor
d) Asking your spouse if you look fat
e) Criticizing your spouse in public
f) Speaking in baby talk
g) Burping and/or passing gas.
h) Using the last of an item (toilet paper, milk, bread) and not replacing it
i) Not picking up after yourself
j) Making up stories to make yourself look better
k) Putting your feet on the furniture
l) Laughing too loudly
m) Taking too long to shower or leave the house
n) Spending too much time on the computer
o) Talking about old lovers in front of your spouse
p) Being bossy or nagging when you could be kind, instead
q) Never volunteering to do chores around the house
2) Make a change for the better
First of all, you have to understand that everyone does things that irritate their spouse. And that you can change those behaviors if you want to - saying that an old dog can't learn new tricks or "I'm just set in my ways" is a cop-out, and simply a justification so that you can keep on doing those irritating things. So knock off the excuses, admit that you need to make some improvements, and make the choice to fix what's wrong.
You have to be willing to acknowledge that your behavior is hurting your marriage. Talk to your spouse about how your irritating habits - and your refusal to change them - has made your spouse feel. Odds are good that they'll tell you that it makes them feel like to you don't care about their feelings.
So assure them that you do, indeed, care, and get your spouse to help you brainstorm ways to change your annoying behaviors. In many cases, you can find a middle ground where the two of can compromise - for example, I found that my partner hated it when I left dirty laundry on the floor, but didn't mind so much that I always forgot to replace the toilet paper roll. So I negotiated a sort of amnesty where the toilet paper was concerned while promising to put my dirty clothes in the hamper. Remember, marriage is about compromise!
Let your mate know that you need positive reinforcement for making changes. An occasional "I'm proud of you" or "thanks for doing that" will go a long way towards encouraging you to keep up with the new behavior. Many people also find that replacing a bad habit with a good one is easier than just stopping cold turkey, so try and find something pleasant to replace the old behavior.
And don't be so hard on yourself if you slip up occasionally. We're all flawed, and we all make mistakes. If your marriage is suffering because of your bad habits, just the fact that you're willing to admit your flaws and work to fix them will make a huge difference - because it shows how much you care!==================Save you Marriage and Relationship with my Relationship Restoration Strategies! Don't let your love Rivals ace you out of this chance to bring back the love of your life! Join the real mastermind group that enjoys stunning synergy! My Home Study Course has caused multiple "a-HA!" realizations for my readers each time they open up and read my book. TODAY maybe that day you look back on and say "That's when everything changed for me!" However, NOTHING will happen until you get the details. So if you desire to save your marriage and save your relationship, get over here right now and check out this site!==> http://item0612.cpemo.hop.clickbank.net/
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When You Are Not the First: How to Love a Woman Who Has Been Engaged

2009-02-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

When You Are Not the First: How to Love a Woman Who Has Been Engaged by Cucan Pemo
It’s a fact of life – you’re not the first man that your lady friend has been involved with. In many cases, she may have even considered marriage with a past beau, taken his engagement ring and headed for the altar before realizing that he wasn’t The One.
If so, you may be feeling a little insecure, wondering if that man was truly the love of her life and if she’s really ready to make a commitment to you now.
The truth is, you stand a much better chance of having a happy relationship with a woman who’s been serious with someone else before you. There are things about being in a relationship that people can only know from experience – both good and bad. How to compromise, for example, and how much actual work has to go into a long-term relationship to make it thrive
If she’s headed toward marriage once but changed her mind, she probably had a very good reason. So ask her why it didn’t work out – rather than sulk and feel jealous, use this as an opportunity to find out what she learned from the experience.
She may have felt that her previous fiancé was too clingy, or maybe he was bad with money. Her reasons for not marrying someone else will reveal not only what she wants from a marriage, but what she doesn’t want from you – things she may be nervous about saying outright, for fear of hurting your feelings.
If the broken engagement wasn’t her idea, she’ll very likely be skittish about you, and about how serious you are regarding the relationship. “Once bitten, twice shy” is a fact of life, and she might be harboring fears that you’ll leave her at some point, too.
She may have self-esteem issues related to the event, and feel that’s she’s not good looking enough or lovable enough to earn a lifetime commitment. If this is the case, you’ll need to be extremely supportive, loving, affectionate and complimentary.
Whether she was the one who terminated her previous engagement or not, she’s going to want to be very sure that you’re someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with before she commits. So you’ll want to take a good, long look at yourself and your behavior to ensure that you’re trustworthy. Part of that means keeping your word – showing up on time for dates, telling her the truth about who you see and what you do when you’re not with her, and staying faithful during the length of your relationship.
Women give honesty a high priority, especially when considering a mate. Be someone she knows she can trust – and that means really being trustworthy, not just putting on a convincing act – and you’re halfway home.
But being trustworthy is also about her allowing herself to entrust you with her emotions. Don’t play jealousy games, talking about other women that you find attractive just to feel more “loved” when she gets jealous.
Listen to what she tells you, really listen, and make sure she knows you care about what she has to say. Examine the way you talk to her, and note if you ever talk down to her as if she’s less intelligent than you are, or if you criticize appearance or her behavior all the time.
If so, she’s not going to feel safe with you – add that to the feelings she may still harbor over her failed engagement, and you’re not making yourself a very appealing prospect. On the plus side, a woman who has been serious enough about a man to consider marriage has experience in developing a long-term relationship. What you’ll gain from this is a partner who knows what she wants, and probably has no problem expressing it.
If she deems you worthy of her trust, she’ll give you her entire heart and be a faithful, loving spouse if you two tie the knot.
The key, as mentioned above, is to talk about what went wrong the first time – whether it was money problems, disagreements over whether to have children, family issues, a substance abuse problem or simply a realization that they weren’t right for each other, understanding the reason for the break-up will be educational, allowing you to judge whether you and she are a better fit, and what she expects from a serious relationship.
She’ll appreciate the fact that you want to understand her better, and you’ll gain from the insight into her past.
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Romantic Love and Those Three Little Words - How To Tell Him You Love Him

2009-02-28T20:42:00.000-08:00

Romantic Love and Those Three Little Words - How To Tell Him You Love Him by Cucan Pemo
So you’ve met the man of your dreams. Your heart sings, your pulse races, you walk around all moony-eyed and have trouble thinking about anything but him. You want to tell him that you love him, and that you think that he’s The One, but you don’t want to seem clingy – or worse, scare him off.
We’ve all heard horror stories about one partner telling the other that they love them and then getting the “thanks, but no thanks” response.
Maybe you’ve experienced it yourself, adding to your fears. So how do you tell him that you love him without coming off like a creepy stalker?
1) Choose the right place and the right time.
Think hard about when and where you want to tell him. If you’re worried that he won’t respond with enthusiasm, it helps to be prepared. Maybe you’d like to tell him on the anniversary of when you met, or at the place you first kissed, or over dinner at your favorite restaurant. Set the stage for romance and he’ll respond more positively.
2) Make it romantic.
Candlelight and music work on men just as well as they work on women. Wear something that you know he likes to see you in, ply him with his favorite meal, and get him in a romantic mood.
3) Make sure you can back it up.
Before you blurt out “I love you,” tell him what you appreciate about him. Compliment him and tell him what it is about him that you really like. Tell him how wonderful he makes you feel when you’re together and why you value your relationship. Be sincere, and be specific. Let him know that you value him for the many things that make him unique and special.
4) Consider the type of person he is.
If he’s a fun-loving, casual type, setting up a full-scale romantic assault may actually make him feel more nervous than passionate. He might respond better if you slip “I love you” into a conversation over a picnic lunch, or while laughing at one of your favorite movies.
By the time you get to expressing your love, you should know him pretty well – so pick a time and a place that will be most comfortable for him.
5) Share it, don’t demand it.
You want to tell him how you feel, not blackmail him into saying it back. He may not be ready to say it yet, and if he feels pressured he’ll resent you for it. And no matter what you do, never blurt it out as part of an argument. Screeching, “But I love you!” isn’t romantic, it’s disturbing and selfish.
6) Take the coward’s way out.
If you can’t bring yourself to flat-out say “I love you,” try a less pressure-filled way of saying the same thing. “I love having your arms around me,” “I love how you look in that shirt” and “I really love the way your eyes twinkle when you smile” are smaller declarations and a good way to gauge his feelings.
7) Don’t say it while under the influence.
A glass of wine may give you the courage to say those three little words, but several glasses of wine will just make you sloppy and silly. Besides, think of the message you’re sending him if it looks like you had to get drunk to tell him you love him! Do it while sober, so both of you know that you mean exactly what you say.
8) Be prepared for the worst.
No matter how much you fantasize about him saying “I love you” back, Don’t place all your hopes on it. He may not be ready. Worse, he may not feel the same way about you. Saying “I love you” should be a gift from you to him, not a demand to reciprocate – and if you pin all your hopes on him responding in exactly the way you’ve imagined, you may very well be disappointed.
Have a back-up plan in place in case he doesn’t return your feelings – know in advance that you may end up crying into your pillow or sitting up late with a girlfriend grousing about your broken heart. If he says “I love you back,” that’s great. But if he doesn’t, it’ll go better fo you if you’ve already prepared yourself for that possibility.
Above all, remember that saying “I love you” doesn’t really change anything. While it may be the ending to every romantic movie, exchanging those words doesn’t mean happily ever after. It just means that you’re moving into a slightly different phase of your relationship – there’s still a lot to share with each other, and who knows what joys and challenges lie ahead?
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7 Effective Ways To Help A Wife Who Has Debt Problems

2009-02-28T20:30:00.000-08:00

7 Effective Ways To Help A Wife Who Has Debt Problems by Cucan Pemo
It all looked so easy in the situation comedies we grew up watching, whether it was “Leave it to Beaver,” “The Brady Bunch” or “Family Ties.” Women took care of the family and men took care of the money. Maybe, now and then, Mom would save up some money from the grocery allowance to buy herself a new hat, but the bills, the credit cards, the mortgage and everything else were Dad’s dominion.
But it’s a new world we live in, with women working full-time and taking care of their families, too, getting their own credit cards and paying their own way. But not everyone is good with money – and as more women take on credit card debt they can’t manage, more of them are also having to visit debt counselors and file for bankruptcy.
If you’ve married a woman with mounting debt, you may be torn as to what to do about it. On the one hand, you don’t want to put your foot down and act like you’re the big man in charge. But, on the other hand, debt affects you, your credit rating, and your family’s future. What’s the best way to handle a spouse with debt problems?
1) Look for problems early, and nip them in the bud.
Maybe you didn;t notice that she had money problems before you were married, but you should certainly be able to spot them once you’re living together. Spending might be a problem – does she have a lot of credit cards, and does she do a lot of shopping with them? This is a major red flag. Other things that can lead to financial disaster are medical bills or car repairs, or if she’s simply not bringing enough money into the relationship.
2) Don’t give in to societal pressure.
Many women are concerned with “keeping up with the Joneses” – having a gorgeous house, new furniture, a late-model car and all the other accouterments of success. Many couples live beyond their means because they want to give the impression of success, but it’s a sure-fire way to end up in debt.
3) Don’t be afraid to talk about money.
Many couples pool their money into one checking account, co-sign each other’s credit card applications and put their spouse’s name on the mortgage without ever bothering to talk about what it all means. If she knows that the debt problems are her fault, she may be hesitant to discuss it – and you don’t want to make her feel bad. But if there are problems, you both need to deal with them head-on, as a team.
4) If necessary, talk to a debt counselor.
Credit counselors offer low-cost, non-judgmental advice, and you can even talk to them over the phone if you feel embarrasses about meeting them face-to-face. Many credit counseling agencies offering a sliding fee scale, and charge just $5 or $10 a month for their service.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this may be your best solution – especially if money troubles are causing you and your wife to argue incessantly over finances. Credit counselors see people in bad financial straits all the times, and their job is to help you work out your problems. You have nothing to lose by talking to a counselor, and everything to gain.
5) Make her take responsibility for her spending.
Sit down together with a pad of paper and a pencil, and look at where your money goes each month. Start with your income, then subtract what you spend on utilities, groceries, insurance, rent, gas for your car and other expenses. She may not actually know how little money is left over after all the essentials are taken care of.
Try a software program like Quicken and have her track her money by logging every expense, from her afternoon latte to those new shoes she just “had” to have. When she sees the evidence of her debt in black and white, she won’t be able to pretend that it’s not a problem.
6) Set goals together to pay down debt.
If she’s paying the minimum on her credit cards each month, she’s accumulating more debt rather than decreasing it because of the hefty interest. Make it a goal to pay more than the minimum and get out from under at least one credit card, and set a realistic goal as yo when you’ll do it.
Then cut up all of the store credit cards – if she doesn’t have the cash, then she can’t buy it. If she’s addicted to shopping, she’ll find this difficult, but it’s the only way to get out of debt.
7) Think twice before filing for bankruptcy.
It may sound like an appealing way out of debt – file for bankruptcy and have your debts erased. But in many cases you’ll still have to pay off the debts, usually in three to five years.
And a bankruptcy filing will remain on your credit report for up to 10 years, even if you’ve cleared all of your debt well before then, and can affect your ability to get jobs, insurance or future loans. It should only be considered a last resort.
The best way to deal with your wife’s debt is to talk about it and make a plan for
the future. Dealing with money problems is never easy, but marriage is about teamwork – which means both of you have to take responsibility for your finances.
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Relationship Advice for Guys: How to Deal with Commitment Issues with Your Girlfriend!

2009-02-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

Relationship Advice for Guys: How to Deal with Commitment Issues with Your Girlfriend!By Cucan Pemo
A guy with commitment issues has become the punch line for too many jokes these days, in my opinion. First of all, women have commitment issues too.
For example, one woman I know thought that her boyfriend was moving too fast, so she got out of the relationship as soon as he started talking about marriage. Not all women want to get married, after all – at least, not right now. She just didn't think they knew each other well enough to start living with each other all the time – completely reasonable.
But since this topic comes up constantly, maybe it's time to have a chat about how to make this part of your next relationship less of a pain. You need to ask yourself some questions and take action based on the answers you find.
1) What's Your Issue?
It all starts with being honest with yourself. Do you have issues with commitment? You might, that's always possible. Or maybe you simply have an idea in your head about when you want to settle down. There's nothing wrong with that either.
But sometimes a woman might be reacting to the fact that you're also not 100% ready for commitment. And to save herself, she's just saying that she's not ready for commitment. It's a thought to consider.
You need to start looking at yourself to see whether or not you have un-admitted commitment issues. If you do, you need to question why you don't want to commit to anyone and what it might take for you to feel ready.
Of course, she might never want to be committed to anyone – many celebrities have done this quite happily and certainly others just like you are out there too.
2) What Do You Really Want?
The truth about commitment is that it's a sticky subject for anyone – no matter how close you are. When you're in the initial stages of the relationship, you want to make sure that you're both on the same page, so start talking.
This isn't about setting down ultimatums or anything, but have an open and honest discussion about what you both envision. This way, she's going to know what you're expecting and she can be honest about what she is and is not expecting.
On the other hand, this conversation can get tricky. If she says that she doesn't want to commit, you need to realize that this may be her answer for now or it might be her answer forever. In any case, you need to be ready to change your ideas for your relationship – or you need to walk away.
3) Can You Change Her Mind?
This is the question I most often hear from guys because they believe that they can and should be able to fix problems. So, if she doesn't want to commit, maybe it's just a matter of talking her into it. But this is the last thing you want to do. Many women (myself included) are incredibly stubborn about things that we think and once we have an idea in our heads, we don't want to give it up easily – especially when someone else wants to tell us we should.
Instead, women need to have a little but of a softer touch. Let her have her space to sort things out – that time away from you might be all the perspective she needs to get things sorted out in her mind. Slow things down in order for her to get comfortable with your relationship as it is. Once she's comfortable, suggest another step up in the relationship (exchanging keys, for example). This way, you will be able to slowly progress, acclimate, and then move up the commitment ladder until you're both happy.
4) Should I Even Stay With Her?
If you're ready for commitment and she isn't, should you say with her? That's really the end point of this discussion. Working through commitment issues takes time and while many people can and do change, there are no guarantees of when (or if) this change will happen.
If you want to settle down and start being in a committed relationship, and your current girlfriend isn't ready, you need to consider walking away. Sometimes realizing that you are serious about your commitment is just what she needs to change her mind too – but don't use this as a false promise either.
All of these tips have worked with varying degrees of success. What you need to realize too that since every relationship is different, you will encounter different speed bumps along the way. This is okay. And eventually, you will probably find one woman with whom you WANT to completely commit. Until then, there's no need to beat yourself up over the fact that you're not settled down yet.
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7 Surefire Ways to Know If Your Boyfriend Feels the Same Way About You!

2009-02-28T20:23:00.000-08:00

7 Surefire Ways to Know If Your Boyfriend Feels the Same Way About You!by Cucan Pemo
The first time I met my boyfriend, I knew that he was the one – at least, for the moment, he was. But the first time I realized that I loved him, I almost blurted it out without thinking it through. Catching myself, I realized that I'd better be certain he felt the same way because this was sort of a rebound relationship and he was such a good friend that I didn't want to ruin a friendship at the same time.
Here are the seven ways I knew that my then boyfriend felt the same way about me.
1) He Makes Plans Ahead of Time
A man who plans ahead is something who wants to be with you because he enjoys being with you. He obviously cares about you and wants to make you a priority in his life. Instead of squeezing you into his life, he wants to make sure that the future is filled with fun times with you. Of course, last minute plans are fun too, but a man who plans ahead? That's a guy who's into you.
2) He Isn't Afraid to Introduce You to Others
When you're walking at the mall and you run into a few of his friends, if he introduces you to them, you can be certain that he has already talked about you with them – favorably. This is a man who is committed to the relationship and happy enough to want to share it with the world.
3) He Asks Personal Questions
If you are sitting around, he is going to ask you about your family, your day at work, etc. He wants to know more about you and he isn't afraid to ask because you're someone he cares about and he wants to learn as much as he can about you.
Of course, these questions will probably be limited to family, interests, and hobbies, but when he starts asking about your dreams, you know he's hooked.
4) He Doesn't Shy Away From Hard Conversations
If you come home from work and you've had a rough day, you're probably going to vent these frustrations to anyone who listens.
I know that when I have a bad day, all I want is for someone to listen to me and to tell me that I have every right to be upset. If you're with a man who lets you vent and doesn't run away from the conversation, you have someone who's really special and who really cares.
5) He Remembers Special Days
One time, a man I was seeing remembered the first time he and I had ever met each other – even though I didn't remember.
He surprised me with a rose at my workplace. Before that, I had thought that he really didn't care about me, but once I realized that he had been keeping 'score' of our relationship, I realized that he was deeply interested in being a good man for me and interested in caring about my happiness.
6) He Looks You in the Eye
A man who can and does look you in the eye is a man with nothing to hide. When you are walking to your man about personal feelings, and he looks directly at you, you know that not only is he listening to the conversation, but he's also making sure that you know he's listening. This is a man who's honest and ready to be a part of the relationship.
7) He Likes to Touch You
Men like to express how they feel by touch at times – and this means outside of the bedroom too. When your man holds onto you and touches your shoulders, he is showing that he is proud to be with you and that he really cares about making you feel happy and safe.
I was once with a guy who I though I really liked, but I was hesitant about telling him because it seemed like something was 'off.' He was nice enough and he met my family, who adored him. But he never looked me in the eye and this made me worried. So, instead of sharing with him how I thought I felt, I just let the relationship ride out to see if he would say something first. He did. He was cheating on me with my best friend.
A man who can look you in the eye is someone you can trust not only with your words, but also with your heart. While not every man will fall into all of these seven ways, he should be fitting into most of them.===========================Is your spouse or lover abroad and they are telling you that they havelost that attraction for you?? You CAN still save your relationship (andMarriage) using my proven methods and strategies which have beenused successfully by people from ALL over the world! Learn howyou can get your Ex back and save your own Relationship TODAY!==> http://item0612.cpemo.hop.clickbank.net/
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How to Deal with Difficult In-Laws and Make Them Listen To You With Regards to Your Relationship!

2009-02-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

How to Deal with Difficult In-Laws and Make Them Listen To You With Regards to Your Relationship!by Cucan Pemo
I've known one friend whom I feel is one of the lucky ones – her in-laws have been great. Her mother-in-law has been a wonderful new friend in her life, but she has admitted to me that it wasn't always easy the first time this way.
In the beginning of her relationship with her boyfriend, she wasn't sure if she could marry him. His parents and herself just didn't get along. They were critical of her job, her life choices, and nearly everything else that she talked about when they were together.
And while her boyfriend tried to help her get along with the parents, it just wasn't working. So, she decided that she needed to be the one to get things started. Here's what she did to make sure she could marry her boyfriend – and his family.
1) Recognize the Problems
The first thing she had to do was to sort out what the problems were, so she started keeping a journal of the disagreements that they had and tried to see if there were any patterns in the problems.
Then she found out that her job and her ability to support herself was a big problem for them. They didn't want their son to be the one who was supporting the both of them – so she needed to do her fair share too, in their opinion.
I shared with her some strategies that I would use, and she began to write out the ways that she did contribute to the relationship, down to the last penny.
This helped her to see that they did have valid concerns, but when she talked to her future husband, he said that things felt fair to him, even if the numbers were exactly split down the middle for bills.
2) Talk It Out
With this knowledge in hand, my friend had to confront the in-laws the next time that they got into the argument – and, of course, they did. This time, however, my friend had facts to back herself up. She had did her "homework" in advance.
She showed them the finances as well as her own contributions, plus she pointed out that since she was still getting her degree, she had potential to make even more income in the future.
Realizing that she had taken the time and sincerity to point out the issue, her in-laws began to be a little more comfortable with her role in their son's life.
And her would-be husband also stuck up for her and told them that he felt things were fine the way they were. She also acknowledged her in-laws' concerns and admitted that she didn't pay exactly her share, which helped them feel validated in their concerns and they felt a lot less defensive and more receptive to her feelings.
3) Stay True to Yourself
As you can see, my friend also had to find out what made her happy in this discussion. She could have admitted that she was wrong and then taken on another job to start making up the different in the financial contributions, but then during that period she was in school for an advanced degree and her schoolwork would have suffered.
If you are in similar circumstance, I suggest you stay true to yourself and to your personal goals because just giving in could have started a chain reaction of demands from your in-laws. It's a matter of boundaries. You need to realize just how far you're willing to go, but then you can't go an inch further than that.
4) Be an Active Part of the Family
Realize also that you need to stop avoiding the family and start learning more about them. By attending the family functions as your schedule allowed, you would begin to feel more like a part of the family, rather than the perpetual outsider.
This allowed you to continue the conversations you had with your in-laws and you would begin to realize where they were coming from as well. You might even find that as you get to know each other – you would even begin to like each other.
5) Making Them Listen to You
By being honest and being open about what your relationship means to you and to your partner, you will begin to command the respect of your in-laws.
You need to stay firm on things that you won't do. For example, if your in-laws keep asking about children and you don't want any, be firm and clear about the fact that you're not planning on having children. And then hold your ground.
Once they realize that your words are firm and your intentions set, they will begin to recognize this about the rest of your ideas and actions too. Once you waver or you give in to their demands - that's when you're going to find that they have even more 'ideas' for you.
Truthfully, some in-laws are never going to be helpful or friendly, but by following
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Discover How You Can Easily Bring Back the Love of Your Life! - A Potent 4-Step Strategy Which Works!

2009-02-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

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I strongly believe your strategy will bring more happiness, harmony, and fulfillment to any relationship. I can relate to many experiences that you so clearly described in the book. I wish I found your book earlier in my relationship; I will definitely be a happier person today.- D.K.
This book is for you if ...
· You are feeling broken hearted, lonely and despondent because of a relationship breakup, and you long for the return of a lost love or spouse ...
· Your spouse or lover has been having an extramarital affair, but you truly care for this person and are willing to do anything necessary to save your relationship ...
· You and your spouse or lover are fighting and quarreling almost everyday, and you want to break the barriers of stubbornness, of bitterness, and of blindness in this relationship ...
You and your spouse are facing a potential divorce, but you truely love your spouse and want to save the marriage ...
You are having a great relationship with your partner right now, but are fearful that one day your spouse or lover might betray you or leave you. Learn how to keep your lover or spouse by your side forever, without all the heartache, fear, and pain ...
Your lover or spouse has suddenly lost Interest in you for no apparent reasons, and you cannot figure out the reasons; even the so-called professionals have no real answers for you...
You have tried everything else, and nothing works for you, so you want to learn a Simple "Four Step Strategy" which always works in bringing back a lost love, no matter what type of relationship you are involved in
Using My Simple, 4-Step Strategy, Everything Clicks Into Place!
This course and book will show you ...• The One Very Important Principle which could dramatically turn your relationship around 180° exactly the way you want it! Miss this chapter, and you'll miss the whole thing! (pg. 17)• The answer to your most pressing Questions –WHY? Why did the relationship fail? Why did the relationship turn sour? Why is everything happening the way you do not wish for it to happen? Screaming to Heaven and Earth for the answers? They are right here in Chapter 3 and 4. There are some principles you wish you knew of earlier before you went into any type of relationship, or before everything went wrong! But...it's never too late! Know the reasons. Learn the answer to the question: Why? And how you could turn everything around again and go on to create even more happiness and peace in your relationship! (pg. 21 - pg. 26)• Discover one very jealously guarded secret I have used to winning back a lost love, and how to be the person who can have what you wish for. Haven't you heard before that whatever you ask for, you will receive? But why doesn't it work for you? Learn the right way to do this! It could change your life! Now this secret is so profound, having it is like possessing the midas touch - everything you have turned into gold - but do it the wrong way, and you'll never get it! (pg. 30)• Discover my proven and most powerful wish fulfilling gem - a simple, easy to follow 4-step strategy to create the type of relationship that you want! And the beauty of this is, you do not need to be a rocket scientist to do it! You need to just follow the steps, and you can do it anytime, anywhere! It works for me, allowing me to bring my true love back into my life and creating the happiness and peace I want in my relationship, all at will. If you can follow and apply the formula, you should be able get the same amazing and positive result as I did, period. (pg. 39)
• You love your lover and your spouse with all your heart, but one day he/she comes and tell you that though you love them with all your heart, they are not feeling the same way for you! Is he telling you that things aren't the same any longer? Is she giving you some hints here and there that she is meeting someone "new" out there and whom she finds more attractive? I'll reveal to you the exact steps you must use to get your lover BACK into your loving, open arms, again and KEEP them in your loving embrace. (pg. 43 - pg. 55)
• Do you feel that HE is just not that into you? Are you puzzled and frustrated that SHE is simply not responding to you, giving you cold shoulders, even pushing you away? Is your girlfriend or boyfriend wanting to separate from you because her explanation is : "I feel nothing for you anymore?!" I'll let you in the TRUTH about what's going on in their minds and just by knowing this secret will set you FREE from all the frustration and heartache, and get your lover back! (pg 68).
• What you can do to make yourself DANGEROUS to your love rival or love competitor, if you have one. This is my secret weapon to bring back the love of my life after he left me for another woman. Guys can also learn this little known tactic and once you know what this is and how it works, you can create permanent connection with your lover or spouse, and never have to worry that someone will come along one day and "snatch" him or her away from you, forever! (pg 70).
• Does your counselor, psychologist or well-meaning friends offer you such advice: "You MUST look after yourself, so you will have this great figure, try get a new hairstyle, go for grooming classes, and oh, why not try a chance (accidental) meeting, etc..." I'll tell why you can be DEAD WRONG if you follow these gurus' advice, even if they have your best interests at heart. (pg. 71)• Are you feeling at a total loss about your marriage? Are you at the point of thinking that there is no point and that you might as well move forward and forget about it? Do you feel that your spouse is not responding to you in the way you want to "feel" it and "see" it? Do you find that your lover or spouse is not showing enough commitment? Or is there a big obstacle standing in your way of having a harmonious relationship and marriage with your spouse? Do you face parental objections and objections from friends who keep telling you they have YOUR best interests in heart? Are you finding it difficult to get your long distance lover to respond to you? I'll teach you my magical 8-words sentence which you can fully master and make the world do your bidding! (pg. 71)• Is your wife giving you cold shoulders, asking you to sleep on the couch outside in the living room? Is your husband coming back home late into the night and can't be bothered to explain to you? Have you tried getting your lover to respond in some ways but they do not? Is it that they are finding other people more attractive than you are, unwilling to talk to you, and spending more time with their other secret friends? Fret not! I'll tell you how you can cut through ALL the smoke, get your lover or spouse to respond, make a connection with you. Cutting through the smoke is the hard part. YOU will soon learn why this does not require You to have good looks, a silver tongue, or infallible logic. It does not even require confidence, charisma or magnetic personality. If your wife or husband has been running away from you again and again, apply this tactic, and watch how they will be moved to tears. (pg. 83)• Is your husband being being unfaithful to you and your children, even though you have been the most caring wife to him and responsible towards his children? Why is your girlfriend making friends with other guys and finding other people more attractive than yourself? Just WHAT exactly is your lover craving for? I'll tell you exactly what your lover and spouse is carving for from other people, why it's not your fault, and why after you have learnt this principle your lover will stop flocking to other people but instead come back to you for more
of what you can give them! This principle is so easy and simple that even a child can learn and master it! (pg 94).
• I'll let you into a "cutting edge" technique on how you can protect the Love and Friendship you have with the love of your life. If you don't learn this technique, other people will and soon you will find your lover or spouse listening more and more to others rather than YOU! (pg. 102)
For more details click here
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Become A Man Magnet! Imagine Discovering The Incredible Secrets That Reveal Any Woman To Magnetically Attract The Man Of Her Dreams - And Keep Him

2009-02-28T19:51:00.000-08:00

Become A Man Magnet! Imagine Discovering The Incredible Secrets That Reveal Any Woman To Magnetically Attract The Man Of Her Dreams - And Keep Him. “Are You Ready To Discover The Fantastic Formula That Magnetically Attracts Men To YOU - As If By Magic?”
" Become A Man Magnet now? I couldn’t believe it could be that simple, until I saw my girlfriends try it. Not only does the Man Magnet System work, but you can start to use it at once anywhere, anytime, with any man--and with almost instant results! On top of that, this system NEVER fails. I'm stunned. " ---Janet Nute -- International Speaker and Therapist
Dear Future Man Magnet,
If you are feeling completely frustrated about attracting a decent man and nothing you've tried seems to have worked, then you're not alone. I can't believe how many of my attractive and intelligent single female friends aged 20 right through to 70 are saying exactly the same things:-
"All the good men are taken." "I always seem to get the wrong guy." "No guys seem to notice me." "Guys always seem to want to be 'friends' with me."
And then they usually say something like...
"Is there something wrong with me?," or "You can't trust men..." - or even worse - "All guys are jerks."
Does any of that sound familiar?
Have you ever felt like all the good men are passing you over--to the point where you wanted to give up the hassle of dating? Or, even worse, has it ever entered your mind that you might end up “on the shelf” ? Have you ever had that sinking feeling that you might end up alone, despite knowing deep inside that what you REALLY want is a loving and fulfilling relationship? Have you ever had a panicky feeling - deep inside - that time is just slipping you by?
In your "Become A Man Magnet" Manualyou will discover…
A proven system that will enable you to attract men so easily that your friends will accuse you of having stolen Aladdin's magic lamp.
Why you'll never be able to keep the man of your dreams, even if he's right there under your nose declaring undying love, unless you resolve this one issue.
3 simple-steps which work on autopilot to make you instantly more desirable to any potential partner.
How to quickly let go of any past relationship stress - so you feel open and able to receive a man into your life.
The real reason why men are staying away from you - and the one thing you can do at once to turn that around.
Why you're never completely happy with yourself - and how to fix that once and for all.
Why the worst thing you can do is write down who your ideal partner is on a "wish list," unless you know the single most important value to look out for. This was an absolute mind-blower when I discovered it.
Two magic words you'll learn which will have men fighting over you.
The single most important thing you must do that will make men melt in your presence, and how this one small shift in your behaviour will flood your life with everything you’ve ever dreamed of.
One simple quality that will magically attract the right men into your life. It’s so stunningly powerful; My friend Susan's life transformed when she developed this one habit - and she became a man magnet extraordinaire
How, in 2 minutes flat, you’ll effortlessly dissolve negativity completely, and drench your life with "man miracles."
The single most crucial thing you must do before you can change your thinking to guarantee your success! (Hint: It’s such an easy “no-brainer”, you’ll wonder why you haven’t done it up to now!)
How to instantly melt away 3 “deadly” beliefs that will otherwise freeze you in your tracks, and stop you from succeeding in romance before you even begin.
The tragically common roundabout view of the world that slams the door on romance. Quickly flip this bad habit on its head, and say hello to love and intimacy!
The “one” ability you must develop if you are ever to achieve your romantic dreams! (This “shortcut-to-romance” is crucial… if you don’t have it, you’re not going to get unstuck from your rut… and you’ll never be able to be one of those happy couples!)
How you are almost certainly unknowingly pushing "men" away and how to turn that around in 5-minutes flat.
How to easily tap into a man's desire and attraction so he'll be begging you to pick HIM.
The unlikely insider secret to make your relationship "cheat-proof" and why he is 75% guaranteed to stray unless you know this.
The single worst mistake every woman makes with men. If you don't know these, you will put the fires of passion out in your most ardent admirer.

The five tell-tale signs of men who are liars and how to observe these in a few seconds. Hint: You'll need to "see" these body language signals to be able to spot them, which is why the manual is fully-illustrated with professional photos to make sure that you won't be able to miss these giveaway signs from now on.
The six tell-tale signs of men who are "safe bets" to bring you happiness and stick by you. Hint: If you don't know these, then chances are you'll either end up with a liar or a wet fish. Don't take the risk.
The differences in how men and women think about dating... and why most men want to keep you from being successful.
The two secrets to communicating with a man that will create lasting love and affection.
The truth about men who aren't "emotionally available"... how to know if you've got one and what to do if you're dating one.
The three top things women do that turn men off and destroy intimacy completely. You probably don't even realise you are doing these.
The inside scoop from happily-married women who know about the tell-tale signs of a great guy.
How to create an emotional connection a man can't ignore the very first time you're out together (This one simple secret will keep him coming back for more)
One easy habit that makes such an astonishing difference, it will “wrap its arms around you” like a long lost lover. You’ll hardly believe your eyes when you clearly see how men rush to embrace you everywhere you go! (Warning: This is habit forming… the more you feel the tingle of excitement, the more you’ll want to do it!)
You Can Guarantee Your Own Success!
For more details click here
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Discover How to get your Wife to want to have more Sex... and make Your Relationship Sexually Fulfilling Once More..

2009-02-28T19:47:00.000-08:00

"Discover How to get your Wife to want to have more Sex... and make Your Relationship Sexually Fulfilling Once More..."
Even if you think you've tried everything before
by Dean Mason and Kate Dixon, - "The Sexless Marriage & Relationship Experts"
Why are some couples always passionate, enjoy steaming sex on a regular basis, and are always happy, while your wife doesn't seem to be really interested in having sex with you?
Here are some things you may not know about sexless relationships:
There are many reasons why women stop wanting sex. Unless you discover the reason, you will never find the solution.
Just because your wife stopped having sex with you doesn't mean that she doesn't love you anymore
Many couples have great sex well into their 50's and 60's so age is no excuse for letting your marriage become sexless.
If your wife doesn't seem interested in having sex with you, it doesn't mean that she's having an affair.
Sexless relationships are a symptom of deep and serious problems between you and your wife.
Sexless marriages often end up in divorce or separation.
Sexless relationships do not have to mean No Sex at all. It can also mean you're having too little of it.
You can get the sex back into your relationship if you just make up your mind to do so
Here's what our method can do for you:
Discover why you wife lost her interest in sex and it's not what you think
Find an easy way to communicate with your wife without having her shut down or avoid the subject
Ignite an internal process in your relationship that will make her madly attracted to you like she was in the past or even more
Learn how to get you wife involved in the healing process without her even knowing it
Discover simple steps which can increase the romance in your marriage
Make your relationship stronger than it was before
Eliminate the confusion and fear that the lack of sex makes you feel
Help you make sure this never happens to you two again
When you use my method in your relationship you'll discover how to get your wife to want to have sex with you as often as you like.
Here are just some of the amazing secrets you get learn from Get Her In The Mood - Make Your Woman Want You More:
What is the one thing you must avoid if you're to have any chance to fix your sexless marriage (page 81)
How to identify what caused your marriage to get to this point (page 15)
How to rekindle the passion between you and your wife (page 60)
How day-to-day life may demolish your wife's sex drive and what you can do about it (page 19)
How to make your relationship exciting again, inside the bedroom and out (page 70)
Discover how to start the process which will solve your sexless marriage and help you two be happy again (page 12)
See what you can begin to do today to make you and your wife feel much closer to one another (page 15-30)
What is this common misconception about the causes of sexless marriages and why it is dead wrong (page 11)
How to think "outside the box" and come up with new ideas which will keep your relationship exciting and fresh (page 74)
How to make sure that once you've healed your relationship it will never plummet again (page 109)

How to make your woman feel desireable again. Believe me, this is something you dare not miss out on (page 61)
Which topics of conversation may be killing your quality time together, not too mention any sex drive (page 98)
How to "turn on the steam" in your bedroom so that once you get the sex back, it'll be as exciting as possible (page 76)
SuperBonus
"101 Romance Ideas"
This is an excellent e-book with creative romance tips for you and your lady. These are great little things you can do which will make both of you feel closer. And you can do them without spending a fortune.
Use these tips to break any tension between you and your lady. None of these tips require any special effort, but the thought behind them is what counts. Your woman will appreciate them.
For more details click here
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Discover How to get your Husband or Boyfriend to want to have more Sex... and make Your Relationship Sexually Fulfilling Once More

2009-02-28T19:36:00.000-08:00

"Discover How to get your Husband or Boyfriend to want to have more Sex... and make Your Relationship Sexually Fulfilling Once More..."
Even if you think you've tried everything before
by Kate Dixon, - "The Sexless Marriage & Relationship Expert"
Why are some couples always passionate, enjoy steaming sex on a regular basis, and are always happy, while your man doesn't seem to be really interested in having sex with you?
Here are some things you may not know about sexless relationships:
Just because your man doesn't want to have sex with you doesn't mean that he stopped loving you
If your man stopped having sex with you it doesn't mean he's having an affair
Sexless relationships usually end up in divorce or separation
Sexless relationships do not have to mean No Sex at all. They can also mean infrequent or seldom sex.
You can get the sex back into your relationship if you just make up your mind to do so
Dear frustrated friend,
The important thing you need to remember is that you're not alone. All over the world there are millions of couples in which the man suddenly loses interest in having regular sex with his woman. It happens in marriages and in other long term relationships.
During my research into the subject of sexless marriages and relationships I've encountered many cases, and I can say one thing for sure: The reason why this happens to women is that they simply don't understand the male sexual and relationship mind.
The Truth is that you, by virtue of being a woman, can turn your relationship around, get the man you love to desire you badly and want to have sex with you as often as you like.
"The 5 Common Mistakes Women make in Sexless Relationships... and How To Make Sure You Avoid Them Completely!!!"
My mini-course includes:
· How to gain a better perspective about your relationship
· How To realize what really caused your marriage or relationship to become sexless
· Easy Steps To Start Growing Closer To Your Man, instead of drifting further apart
· The 1 Thing You must never do in this situation, why many women do it, and why it can virtually destroy your relationship completely
· More easy to do steps you can take starting today which will get your relationship into a healing process.
You have the power to turn your relationship around. You may not believe it now. You may feel rejected, confused, and scared that your relationship is falling apart. But don't worry. By reading this article, you've taken the first step to getting the sex back into your relationship.
Here's what my method can do for you:
Discover the real causes of why your husband or boyfriend doesn't want sex... and it's not what you think
Learn how you can start an inner process that will make him madly attracted to you just like he used to be before things turned sour
Find ways to get your man involved in the process without him knowing it
Discover how to increase the romance in your relationship
Learn new ways to spice up your sex life and get it up to a new level
Find out how to make sure this never happens to you again
When you use my method you'll discover just how to get your man to want to have sex with you exactly as often as you like.
Here are just some of the amazing secrets I reveal in Get Him In The Mood... How To Get Your Husband To Want You More:
What is the one thing which you have to stop in order to have any chance of rekindling the passion in your relationship (See page 89)
What is this all too common cause of sexless relationships (See page 30)
How to talk to your man about your problems without having him shut down (See page 120)
What is the one emotion which can ruin your relationship beyond any hope of recovery and how to eradicate it (See page 97)
What to do when your man is having a hard time at work and how it may effect your sex life (See page 32)
Discover how it is completely in your power to get your husband or boyfriend to want to have more sex with you (See page 8)

What is the one inner process you have to undertake before your sexless relationship problems can be solved (See page 45)
What is the common assumption of women in sexless relationships and why is it completely wrong (See page 11)
What does it really mean that your man doesn't want to have sex with you (See page 35)
How to get your man involved in the process of healing your relationship without having to spell it out to him (See page 112)
What is the one thing you must never do in the inner process you must complete before getting your man sexually interested in you again (See page 61)
What is the one thing about your previous sex life which probably causes your relationship to turn sexless (See page 21)
How you can turn your relationship around and make it strong and happy again (See page 41)
How to become wildly sexy in the eyes of your man (See page 64)
How to think "outside the box" and come up with new ways to bring back the intimacy into your relationship (See page 108)
What is the one huge mistake couples make in their relationship and which may have caused yours to plummet (See page 16)
How to "turn up the heat" in your bedroom so that once you start having sex again, it'll be the best sex you've ever had (See page 141)
For more details click here
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5 Facts You MUST Understand If You Are Ever Going To Fix Your Sexless Marriage & Enjoy the Kind of Intimacy You Deserve

2009-02-28T08:48:00.000-08:00

Fix Your Sexless Marriage - Help To Save Marriages
5 Facts You MUST Understand If You Are Ever Going
To Fix Your Sexless Marriage & Enjoy the Kind of
Intimacy You Deserve

1. A sexless marriage isn't a problem in itself. It's a symptom of something much deeper. Trying to solve the symptom instead of the problem can actually make things worse between you. If you really want to get the sex back into your marriage you must look deeper to find the real cause.
2. This isn't something which only you experience. It is estimated that over 15% of couples live in sexless relationships. For years this problem has been swept under the rug. On this website it will be ignored no longer. You have come to the right place to start getting your marriage back on track.
3. Sexless marriages aren't the result of aging. There are plenty of couples who have regular sex well into their 70's and 80's. On the other hand, there are many couples who fall into a sexless situation in their 30's or even 20's. Age is no excuse to stop having sex.
4. Trying to read one of those so-called expert books on how to improve a couple's sex life won't help. You need something which provides a true solution for YOU. The reason is that these books are written for men and women both. This isn't the way to go. You need something which is specifically for you.
5. Waiting for this situation to clear up on its own is like saying goodbye to sex forever. Don't bury your head in the sand, it is up to you to find the solution for your sexless marriage. Some couples go on for years without having sex. Don't let this happen to you.
The statistics of sexless marriages

Does staying with your partner seem more and more like staying with a roommate than with a spouse? Has it been ‘ages’ since you’ve had some soul-refreshing, heart-warming intimacy? Well, you are not alone.

Sexless relationships, reports and surveys suggest, is on the rise. In fact, it is believed that more than 15% of marriages in the US are of the brother-sister kind.

Here are some shocking statistics relating to sexless marriages:

According to Newsweek, more than 18% of couples have sex as little as 10 times a year, making them fall into what experts call the ‘sexless marriage’ category.
Another survey in the Newsweek shows that most married couples have sex about once every week. By contrast, unmarried singles have sex up to three times a week!
About 20-25% of men and 30-50% of women complain about their lack of sex drive.
About 25% of Americans, mostly women, suffer from a condition called Hypoactive Sexual Desire (HSD) which is a condition in which the person feels a persistent lack of interest in sex.

While experts suggest that you can define your marriage as sexless only if you are having sex less than 10 times a year, the truth of the fact is that you cannot quantify sex. How much sex you want varies from person to person and age to age. For a couple in their sixties, sex once a month may be more than sufficient, but for a couple in their thirties, this is a worrying pattern indeed.

What with pressures from work, children, life and circumstances, the only way to keep your marriage going strong is to invest time and energy in the relationship continuously. Statistics notwithstanding, psychologists opine that every marriage faces these difficult conditions at some time or the other, but it need not really spell the end of the relationship.
For more details click here
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How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me. How To Meet A Beautiful, Intelligent, Educated And Sincere Russian Woman Online

2009-02-28T08:41:00.000-08:00

How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me. How To Meet A Beautiful, Intelligent, Educated And Sincere Russian Woman Online - Starting A Relationship, Dating, And Ultimately Marriage. Elena Petrova: E-book"How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me"
Learn how to easily find, court and finally marry a beautiful Russian woman... from a beautiful Russian woman!
STOP wasting your time and money in search for a Russian wife!
Get it done - easily, painlessly and certainly! And have lots of fun along the way! Slay your competition and become an irresistible magnet for Russian women... because you know exactly what they want and how to give it to them.
Stop guessing, and start getting girls! You will have more beautiful women that want to be with you than you can handle! YOU will be the one to take your pick!
Yes, YOU - you personally, my visitor - YOU can find and marry a girl like me!
Look a the picture on the right - it's me. Do you want a girl like this to be your wife? It is perfectly do-able. And I will show you HOW.
Elena Petrova: E-book"How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me"
Learn how to easily find, court and finally marry a beautiful Russian woman... from a beautiful Russian woman!
STOP wasting your time and money in search for a Russian wife!
Get it done - easily, painlessly and certainly! And have lots of fun along the way! Slay your competition and become an irresistible magnet for Russian women... because you know exactly what they want and how to give it to them.
Stop guessing, and start getting girls! You will have more beautiful women that want to be with you than you can handle! YOU will be the one to take your pick!
Yes, YOU - you personally, my visitor - YOU can find and marry a girl like me!
Look a the picture on the right - it's me. Do you want a girl like this to be your wife? It is perfectly do-able. And I will show you HOW.
There are no magic tricks about it. You don't have to be rich, or famous, or handsome, or have a body like Hercules. In fact, your appearance and money mean nothing. You must just know what Russian women want - and give it to them. ANY man can do it!
Why is this name for the book, "How To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me"?
Well, it's not that I am big-headed or think I am a dream of every man!
The reason for this name is the fact that for the years that I am working in the dating industry I received hundreds of letters that said "I wish I could find a woman like you", and even more that said "Your husband is a very lucky man".
This is why this book is about finding a girl like me.
I feel that most men seek the same qualities in their potential mates: honesty, integrity, intelligence, faithfulness, kindness, the desire for mutual cooperation rather than competition, and of course physical attractiveness.
The criteria of what a particular man finds attractive differ from man to man but the ultimate criteria of what a man desires in a wife are universal.
With this information, you can:
· Change the way you see Internet dating;
· Learn what you must know before contacting Russian women, or your search is doomed;
· Understand what Russian women REALLY want, why do they want it, and how you can give it to them;
· Use your competition to your benefit;
· Search for your dream woman at the right places and avoid the wrong ones;
· Write letters that receive responses 9 out of 10;
· Get ready-to-use letters that drive women mad... about you;
· Make such a striking impression on women that makes you the only man they can think of;
· Select the most suitable partner from all the beautiful girls that want to be with you;
· Learn how to check that the woman's interest is genuine;
· Progress your relationship from the first letter to marriage;
· Find out what Russian women fears are and how to deal with them;
· Avoid hidden traps of Russian courting etiquette;
· Find out how you can unknowingly destroy your relationship with little or no action at all, and how to avoid it;
· Learn what is the best way to organize your personal meeting;
· Find out what is the biggest turn-off for Russian women in their relationship with western men;
· Discover what Russian women expect from a man who is courting them;
· Learn the most important things about giving gifts and shopping with Russian women;
· Find out which popular western phrase can destroy your perfect relationship in an instant;
· Find out how to detect if she is ready for sex;
· Learn the right way to start a sexual relationship with a Russian woman and how to avoid embarrassment if things don't work the way they should;
· Find out about marriage proposals to Russian women;

· Glide your way through marriage visas and ways to bring your fiancee into your home country;
· Learn how to survive visa application period and use it to strengthen your relationship;
· Ensure the woman is getting married to YOU and not to your country;
· Find out what women feel when moving to a new country to marry a foreign man, and what she expects from you during this process;
· Prevent regular problems of adaptation and homesickness;
· Get practical, easy-to-use advice on do's and don'ts on every stage of your search, from beginning to the end, to GUARANTEE your success.
All in all, with this book you will get all the know-how that enables you To Find And Marry A Girl Like Me - intelligent, educated, honest, and of course physically attractive.
For more details click here
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