The KEY Question You Ask and MUST have Answered even though you probably don’t know you are asking it. Part II

I stirred the pot. Boy did I get the emails with the article: The KEY Question You Ask and MUST have Answered even though you probably don’t know you are asking it.
If you missed it go to my blog: http://www.infidelity-help.com/blog and read the article.
I've observed thousands of people suffering from infidelity and, from my point of view, there is one underlying question that almost all ask. After a time of reflection and work at healing the pain, they "get it" and the question is answered.
I didn't divulge in the article "the question." Hence the emails: WHAT IS THE QUESTION?
I feel compelled to follow up.
I am very reluctant to give you the question for a number of solid reasons.
1. First, I don't want you to give me too much power. And, power is a key issue. In reality, I don't want you to give anyone more power than they deserve. This is often the case in infidelity. The offended partner often gives excessive power to the partner and or the other person. Every word and thought of the offended partner tends to hang on what the offending partner is saying or doing or not saying or doing. The offended spouse feels victimized, helpless and at the mercy of the other relationship. Why in the world would anyone give that much power to a person(s) who is clueless, lost and committing slow relational and familial suicide? And, often, when shifts in that power are made by the offended partner, dramatic changes occur. I hear it daily from those I coach and send me testimonials on the power of Break Free From the Affair.
I want you to claim your power. Don't hand it over easily, even to me!
2. If I told you, you probably wouldn't believe me. In some ways the question is fairly obvious and you may dismiss it as too simplistic.
For the remainder of this article and more...
This article is part of a series of articles written by Dr. Huizenga. He responds in practical and heart-felt ways to pressing issues such as:
46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair
Extramarital Affair: Their Sex is not "Always Hot"
Day of Discovery: I'm a Mess! Do I Need Meds?
Infidelity: Why the Need to Know is so Strong
Signs of Infidelity: My Marriage Made Me Do it
Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage
Sexually Addicted? Ten Important Questions to Ask
Infidelity Recovery: What is it with Men?
The full Mini-ebook is one of many practical resources located in the Infidelity Insiders Members Area.
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