Marital Infidelity: 11 Stubborn Barriers to "Makingover" Your Relationship

By Dr. Huizenga - The Infidelity Coach
Your relationship has suffered a deep wound. Both of you have a level of commitment to "make it work." The OP is out of the picture - a least to a large degree.
You know there is a crisis. You know you must "get at" the problem. Now is the time. If you don't address the crisis NOW, in some way, you know the chances for having a vibrant rich relationship are spiraling downward.
Efforts to "makeover" your relationship demand a fair degree of feeling safe with one another. Often this is not the case.
Barriers to safety need attention before any "makeover," resolution or joint decision making can occur. Often you are not aware of the specifics of the barriers. Or, you have a difficult time addressing them.
The barriers or walls sit in the background casting their debilitating shadows.
Your intentions may be pure. But, once you face each other, the barriers quickly squelch the hope for any positive outcome. In reality you think, "Here we go again. The same-o-same-o." You feel defeated.
Below, I've listed 11 common barriers.
1. I want to talk, he/she doesn't.
2. I'm afraid of finger-pointing, judgment. I will become the “bad person.”
3. The conversation will eventually turn to “what I did wrong” or “how I caused this problem.”
4. I'm fearful I will back down, give in and then pretend that things are fine.
5. I don't want to hurt his/her feelings.
6. I don't know how to put into words what I want to say.
7. I'm afraid “it” won't work. Then what? I'd rather not face that.
For the remainder of this article and more...
This article is part of a series of articles written by Dr. Huizenga. He responds in practical and heart-felt ways to pressing issues such as:
46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair
Extramarital Affair: Their Sex is not "Always Hot"
Day of Discovery: I'm a Mess! Do I Need Meds?
Infidelity: Why the Need to Know is so Strong
Signs of Infidelity: My Marriage Made Me Do it
Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage
Sexually Addicted? Ten Important Questions to Ask
Infidelity Recovery: What is it with Men?
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