Surviving Infidelity and Saving the Marriage

The prognosis for survivability of the marriage is different for each. Some affairs are the best thing that happens to a marriage. Others serve a death knell. As well, different affairs demand different strategies on the part of the spouse or others. Some demand toughness and movement. Others demand patience and understanding.
The emotional impact of the discovery of the affair is usually profound. Signs of a cheating spouse usually lead to days and weeks of sleeplessness, rumination, fantasies (many sexual) and unproductivity. It typically takes 2 – 4 years to “work through” the implications. A good coach or therapist can accelerate and mollify the infidelity. I don’t recommend marriage counseling, at least initially.
The devastating emotional impact of infidelity results from a couple powerful dynamics. Trust is shattered – of one’s ability to discern the truth. The most important step is NOT to learn to trust the other person, but to learn to trust one’s self. Another is the power that a secret plays in relationships. THE secret exacts an emotional and sometimes physical toll that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with.
Addressing these two dynamics as they play out in 7 different kinds of infidelity becomes the key to not merely surviving infidelity but moving the person and relationship to a new levels of understanding and intimacy.
About the author: Dr. Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, is a respected Marriage and Family Therapist with over two decades of clinical experience, study and research. He created and maintains the website: Site description: Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs Help - Relationship help to survive infidelity, save your marriage and move beyond marital infidelity with an infidelity coach. Learn signs of cheating husbands or spouse.
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