If you listened closely you heard four powerful strategies that Sue used and you can intentionally use as well to break through and break free.
1. Learn. Keep learning. Keep looking at it. Sue read Break Free From the Affair not once, but often. Learning about infidelity is like learning a new language. You see, there are many myths and misconceptions about infidelity that if you don't address, will keep you stuck in the never-ending agony. Keep looking at it until you feel your negative thinking shift.
2. Sue relished support. The blog. the chat room became her home away from home. Now a chat room may not be for everyone, but the bottom line - you need some form of support. And, support is often hard to find. Family, friends and others are usually clueless about infidelity and offer simplistic, not helpful advice. You need someone, someplace that will affirm you, will honor you, will truly "get" you and maybe, sometimes, laugh and cry with you.
3. Sue sought input. She read Break Free From the Affair.She read other books. She read others' blog postings. She listened to those in the chat room. She knew she needed to learn. She knew she must think differently. She soaked up as much knowledge as she could. It percolated within her. And, one day, the confusion vanished and there is was - clear, making perfect sense, feeling just right.
4. Sue was brave enough to try something different. She took the input of others and planned a course of action. She acted differently. She tried on new behaviors. She experimented and evaluated the results. She shared these results with her new-found friends, receiving the input and support she needed again and then moved on to her next chapter.
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